When The Walls Come Crashing In
by margravinel
Summary: My version of what happens after Sophie falls from the church roof. Will her family unite in their grief or pull themselves even further apart?
1. Chapter 1

Sian paced the hospital waiting room anxiously, one hand hovering over her mouth protectively as she felt bile rise in the back of her throat once again. Her other arm wrapped around her torso instinctively as her stomach cramped, twisting itself into a knot of anxiousness and worry. She felt the sudden rush of nausea that followed, her head swimming, her eyes struggling to keep the room in focus.

Her legs gave way slightly beneath her, an early warning that if she didn't sit down soon, her knees were likely to collapse and with them, her whole body. Sian closed her eyes quickly, sucking in a long, uneven breath as she tried to fight another wave of nausea that was threatening to consume her. Blindly, she reached out for the back of a nearby chair, quickly descending into it. She dropped her head down into her waiting hands as the room began to spin. Her head felt hot to her touch, like if she didn't lift her head soon she would scorch the very hands in which it rested. She ran her hands clumsily through her hair, realising as she did so that it wasn't her head that was warm, but rather, that it was her hands which were cold. She lifted her head slightly to look at the offending appendages and saw that they were shaking uncontrollably, her knuckles pale, her palms sweaty before her. She rubbed them quickly across the front of her pink sweater in an attempt to dry them before placing them underneath her on the chair, the weight of her body stilling their unwanted tremors momentarily. After a few seconds, Sian could bear the stillness no longer and she felt her whole body begin to shake as she hurriedly tapped the floor with her right foot.

Sian pulled her hands out from under her legs and unconsciously began to fiddle with the bangles around her left wrist as she scanned the waiting room in search of the Pastor. She took in the loud chorus of voices surrounding her in the busy accident & emergency department, but as much as she tried to concentrate on what was being said, she could make out very little, only a few odd words scattered here and there. The walls were drab, that horrible beige which was standard in most hospitals across the country. She noted that the light paint was marked in places with dark scratches, probably the result of equipment and trolleys catching the walls as they rushed past. She pictured Sophie being bought in here and wondered if her trolley had followed the same path, crashing into the walls as it was guided hurriedly through the double doors into the treatment areas beyond.

Sian's stomach turned over once again and she reached her hand up to her mouth certain that this time she was going to be sick. The thought of Sophie, lying broken and bleeding, surrounding by unfamiliar faces and organised chaos made her retch and she longed for some words of comfort and reason to reassure her that she was being ridiculous. That Sophie, her girlfriend, would be alright.

She glanced around the room again, panic and paranoia at the Pastors continued absence eating into her. He'd called her from the ambulance, her number still stored away in the memory of his mobile phone from when she'd belonged to his choir. When he'd explained what had happened, Sian's initial reaction was denial, that he was playing some sick joke on her. The whole scenario was ridiculous, yet alone completely improbable. Sophie couldn't have fallen, Sian had tried to reason, the brunette hadn't been back to their old church since they'd walked out before Christmas. It was only when she'd heard the rattled tone of his voice that she sensed his concern and realised that he was being deadly serious. Sian felt tears sting the back of her eyes as she thought about the implications of what he'd relayed to her over the phone.

'_She's being taken to Weatherfield General Hospital.' He'd told her hurriedly. 'Sian, I need you to contact her parents….Sian? Are you listening to me? The paramedics said I should call her family and get them to the hospital as soon as possible. Sian? I don't have their number. I need you to call them for me.'_

'Ok' Sian had replied numbly as the Pastor disconnected the call, so that as she continued to hold the phone firmly to her ear, all that remained was the monotonous ring of a dial tone. She'd remained still for a moment, her brain failing to force her body into resolute action. Finally she'd dropped the phone in front of her and found Rosie's number in her contacts. She'd connected the call, returned the phone to her right ear and waited.

"Hiya Sian babe," Sophie's bubbly sister had answered almost immediately. "What's up?"

"Rosie," Sian had started her voice quiet.

"Yeah babe," Rosie had replied encouragingly.

Sian had remained quiet on the other end of the phone, uncertain how best to go about telling the oldest Webster daughter that her younger sister was in a critical condition and on her way to the hospital.

"Sian, what's going on? Are you alright?" Rosie had coaxed, sensing her hesitation.

"Yeah," Sian had said simply, her throat thick with emotion. "It's not me…Rosie…its Sophie."

Sian had heard Rosie's sharp intake of breath over the phone and swallowed hard, trying to moisten her suddenly dry mouth.

"Sian where are you?" Rosie had asked worriedly before Sian had told her everything that she knew, the words pouring out of her mouth in a rush.

When she'd finished, Sian had to wipe at her eyes, ridding them of the tears which had escaped unnoticed.

'Sian babe," Rosie had said quickly. "I'm on my way, ok. I'll meet you there, just, stay put until I get there."

"What about your parents?" Sian had asked sobbing uncontrollably and unashamedly now.

"I'll call them on the way." Rosie had reassured her. "It'll be ok….you'll see."

"But Rosie…" Sian had begun to protest.

"She'll be ok," Rosie had said again, her tone even more determined than before. "I'll be there soon."

Once again, Sian had been left listening to a monotonous ringing in her ears, and once again, she stood numb, her body still firmly in shock. When she'd arrived at the hospital, Sian had immediately approached the reception desk, only to be told by the kindly secretary that she didn't have any news on Sophie's condition and that if she took a seat, someone would be out to see her shortly.

That had been 20 minutes ago, and now Sian sat alone in the hospital waiting room, her thoughts tormenting her with insidious images of Sophie plummeting from a tremendous height, her body lying crumpled on the hard concrete below, her eyes gazing blankly into nothing….

Sian shook her head in an attempt to rid herself of the unwanted visions and looked back in the direction of the reception desk, her eyes instead meeting those of the Pastors, just as he appeared into the waiting area through the electric doors. He looked pale and shaken as she slowly stood up from where she'd been seated as he made his way toward her. Sian felt the nausea return in the pit of her stomach and her heart sank when he pointedly lowered his gaze away from her. She reached out a hand to steady herself, an oppressive weight pushing in on her, a haziness toying with her peripheral vision. Intuition and instinct told her just as much as the Pastors face did in that moment, if not more. The world as she knew it, her world, was about to change and it wasn't for the better.


	2. Chapter 2

"Sian," the Pastor greeted her sombrely, his head bowed slightly, his eyes never quite fully meeting hers.

He turned his head slightly, throwing a quick look around his immediate environment in search of Sophie's family. When he failed to spot them amongst the background of beige and out of date magazine's he returned his attention to the blonde.

"Did you manage to contact Sophie's family?" he asked surprised.

Sian felt her stomach wrench in a tight knot at his obvious uneasiness in response to the Webster's absence. Her head was pounding, her eyes heavy from tears already lost at the thought of what she might lose. She rubbed her temple firmly, trying to ease the tension that felt that a now permanent addition to her life. Her hands were still shaking violently and she pulled the sleeves of her jumper down to cover them.

Sensing her obvious distress and fragility, the Pastor stepped forward and pulled her close to him, overcome by a sudden paternal instinct to protect her. Sian collapsed into him, her legs almost giving out beneath her before she could find the safety of his embrace. Finally, she could hold it in no more. All the worry and despair she'd been holding in since she'd received his phone call suddenly poured out of her. The Pastor wrapped his arms around her tighter when he felt her body begin to shake with silent sobs against his chest and he struggled to keep his composure, subdue his own pain and regrets for the history that had passed between them.

"I'm so sorry," the Pastor apologised, his voice soft and repentant.

For a moment Sian said nothing, her body continuing to tremble violently before him as she cried. Slowly she lifted her head, her eyes swollen and red, her cheeks stained with tears.

"I don't," she begun, sobs of grief cutting her sentence short. She wiped at her face with one of her sleeves, still pulled low over her hands. "I don't understand what happened." She finally managed to say, her voice thick, her breath catching as she fought to compose herself. "How could this happen?"

He thought for a moment, his mind searching for any words of comfort he might be able to offer her, but he found none.

"Is she going to be alright?" Sian asked when he didn't respond, her voice quiet, almost inaudible, her whole body tensing in fear of his response.

"I don't know Sian," he answered quickly. "When we got here they took her straight through to resus."

He paused momentarily before continuing. "They told me to wait here," he explained. "I had to fill out some paperwork, but, I couldn't tell them much…and then the police…they wanted to talk to me about what happened."

Sian wiped at her eyes furiously, trying to stem the flow of tears which refused to be pacified.

"I came to find you and her family as soon as I could." He finished with a sigh. "I was hoping you might have heard something."

The blonde shook her head, swallowing hard as she did so. She internally rationalised that no news was good news, but at the same time, she couldn't help but wonder if they were merely waiting for Sophie's family to arrive before they broke the terrible news, news that would send her pitching forward into a black abyss of despair that she would never be able to escape from.

"Sian!" Someone called from a distance. "Sian!" they called again, their voice slightly louder as it grew nearer.

The blonde turned quickly towards the shrill voice behind her and felt her whole body relax with relief at the sight of Rosie, Sally and Jason arriving. Rosie reached Sian quickly, almost hurling herself across the light blue tiled floor in her ridiculously high heels. As soon as she reached Sian, Rosie pulled her sister's girlfriend into a tight embrace. Sian, reciprocated the gesture, wrapping her arms around the dark hair girl and holding on with all the strength her shaking limbs could muster.

Rosie pulled back slightly to look at the blonde and Sian noticed that the other girl had also been crying. The signs of her own anguish written clearly on her face, her mascara leaving dark lines etched to her cheeks. Rosie smiled sadly and reached her hand up to wipe at a tear that was sitting on the younger girls' cheek. Sian almost lost it then, in a fleeting moment where her body craved for the familiar touch of a different Webster daughter, one whose fate was still unknown. She stepped back slightly and as if in understanding, Rosie separated herself from Sian and turned towards Jason who was coming up behind her.

Missing the contact, Sian reached out her hand, desperate for someone who really _knew_ Sophie to share her torment with. She caught Rosie's hand in her own, and the other girl turned back towards Sian, grabbed her other hand and pulled her back into her arms comfortingly.

"How is she?" Sally's stricken voice asked from beside the girls, causing them both to lift their heads to glance in her direction. Sian noticed that she too had been crying.

"I don't know," Sian answered tearfully, gesturing with one hand to the reception desk whilst the other remained firmly locked around Rosie's waist. "They just told me to wait here."

Sally turned towards the reception desk quickly and with determined steps began making her way towards it. The rest of the group followed behind, all eager to hear something, _anything_ on Sophie's condition.

When Sally reached the beech coloured desk, she placed her hand on top of it firmly, peering over the top at the secretary seated behind it.

"May I help you?" the secretary asked kindly.

"My daughter was brought in here earlier," Sally said quickly, her words almost slurring together in their haste. "Sophie Webster," she continued quickly. "Is she alright? Can I see her?"

"Mrs Webster," a deep voice said from just over her left shoulder.

"Yes," Sally answered turning towards a dark haired man wearing blue hospital scrubs.

"I'm Doctor Trevelyan," he took a step towards Sally, offering his hand in greeting.

"Have you been treating my daughter?" Sally asked taking it reluctantly.

"Yes," he answered his voice steady, professional, giving no hints or clues of what to expect. "Would you come with me please?"

Sally looked over her shoulders at the others and noted Rosie pulling Sian closer into her side as the younger girl chewed nervously on the sleeve of her jumper.

"All of you," he clarified before turning towards a door on his right and gesturing them through it into what appeared to be an enclosed waiting room, chairs tracing it's walls. Once everyone had entered, Dr Trevelyan closed the door behind him and gestured to the empty chairs. "Please," he said evenly, "take a seat."


	3. Chapter 3

Both the Pastor and Jason did as Doctor Trevelyan instructed, seating themselves sombrely in the vacant chairs nearest to where they'd been stood whilst Sally remained standing, her stance determined, challenging almost. Sian hesitated for a moment, her body and mind torn between the best course of action. A part of her feared the doctors invitation, recalling memories of every medical drama she'd ever watched on television from the recesses of her mind and understanding that, you were only ever asked to sit down if it was bad news. Her body though, craved for the comfort of the well-padded chairs, her legs still precarious beneath her weight, her head still throbbing with the ache of her built up tension.

As though sensing Sian's indecision, Rosie reached up and wrapped a comforting arm around the blonde's shoulders before leading her silently over towards another vacant chair. She guided Sian gently into the seat before taking her own position in the one it. Once settled, Rosie reached across into Sian's lap and took her right hand into her own, squeezing it tightly. Sian smiled sadly at the eldest Webster daughter, the warmth of Rosie's hands feeding life back into her own numb extremities. Sian glanced back towards Sally, who had not moved, her feet seemingly adhered to the spot in which she stood.

"Mrs Webster," the doctor said steadily, his arm once again gesturing to an empty chair on Sally's right.

"No," Sally said in response, throwing cautious glances at the faces assembled around her before looking back towards the doctor pleadingly. "Just…tell me how she is...Is she ok?"

The doctor gave her a sympathetic look but remained silent, his left hand reaching out to touch Sally's encouragingly.

"Please," he said, dropping his gaze towards the chair once again.

Finally succumbing to his wishes, Sally sagged dejectedly into the chair on the other side of Rosie. Sian watched Sally closely as she did so, her gut wrenching at the solemn expression on her face, the pain etched across her features. Sian couldn't help but think that if she'd been in front of a mirror, she would see the same look in her own reflection.

From where she was sitting, Rosie linked arms with her mother's, carefully entwining their fingers together, both their hands resting in Sally's lap.

Satisfied that everyone was now seated, Dr Trevelyan pulled up another chair and sat facing the bleak group before him.

"I'm sorry to have kept you all waiting," he apologised sincerely, his eyes projecting kindness and empathy. "I know that this must be a terrible time for you all."

He paused momentarily, turning his attention towards Sally, who seemed to have paled even further in the last few minutes.

"When your daughter was bought into the emergency department," he continued, addressing Sally directly. "She was in a very serious condition. We had to stabilise her before we could transfer her to theatre for surgery."

"Surgery?" Sally asked her voice barely above a whisper. Sian swallowed hard, her mind conjuring up images of sterilised metal surgical instruments and dark crimson of blood, _Sophie's _blood. She felt bile rise in her throat, her hands once again turn clammy and cold, her ears ring at the thought of blade cutting into skin, and she had to suppress the urge to vomit yet again.

"Mrs Webster," Dr Trevelyan began to explain. "Your daughter suffered extensive injuries as a result of her fall, many of which require immediate surgical intervention in order to repair."

"She'll be alright though?" Rosie asked the doctor, concern evident in her voice. "Once she's had the surgery, I mean…she'll be ok?

Sian looked towards Dr Trevelyan expectantly, her heart seemingly stopping in her chest in anticipation of his response.

"I'm sorry," Dr Trevelyan said sadly, "but I can't answer that with any real certainty. Sophie suffered multiple injuries from the accident, the most minor of which consist of fractures throughout her right arm and leg as well as lacerations to her face."

The doctor paused for a moment to scan the faces in the room, all of which were watching him intently.

"However, these were not the only injuries which your daughter sustained," he continued, returning his attention to Sally. "Sophie suffered a severe blunt chest trauma as a result of the fall. In her case, this led to numerous fractured ribs, which perforated her right lung and caused a tension pneumothorax with diaphragmatic herniation."

"Is that why she couldn't breathe properly?" The Pastor asked quietly from his seat.

"Partly," the doctor answered. "When Sophie was bought in we had to intubate her to help regulate her breathing. We've inserted a tube into her chest to help drain air and blood from around her lung. However, she still needs further surgery to repair the laceration to her lung and diaphragm in order to stem the bleeding."

Sian listened numbly as the doctor went on to describe how Sophie had also suffered from a pericardial tamponade, a build-up of blood in the sac around the heart from her internal injuries which had prevented it from filling properly. He explained graphically how they had performed a pericardiocentesis, a procedure where a large needle is inserted into the sac around the heart to aspirate the blood and therefore help relieve the disabling pressure on the muscle. He warned them of the severity of this condition and that the only way that they could stop the bleeding, was to operate and repair the damage to the vessels. This list of injuries seemed endless and as the ringing in Sian's ears continued to grow louder, she found herself catching only brief glimpses of the conversation. She heard the words 'subdural haematoma,' 'probable spinal injury,' 'liver laceration' without registering their meaning or their impact on Sophie's prognosis.

In the distance she could hear Sally's voice asking, 'How long will she be in surgery?"

"It depends," Sian heard his muffled response through the throbbing of her own pulse in her ears. "It'll most likely be a few hours at the very least."

"What happens then?" Sally asked robotically, clearly in shock.

"If she survives the surgery," Dr Trevelyan began seriously. "She'll be taken up to the intensive care unit for close monitoring." He paused thoughtfully for a moment. "Over the next few days we'll start to get an idea of how her body is responding and only then will be able to give you a better idea of her prognosis."

He turned towards Sally once again.

"I know it's not necessarily what you want to hear," he said regretfully glancing around the room, "but you should prepare yourselves for the worst."

"Is she going to die?" Sally voiced, asking the question no one else wanted to.

"At this point," Dr Trevelyan answered. "It's a very real possibility. All I'm suggesting is that you don't get your hopes up…."

Sian was suddenly hit with another wave of nausea, only this time, it was stronger and more violent than anything she'd felt previously. She imagined that scene in 'The Perfect Storm' where George Clooney's boat was slowly riding up the enormous wall of a wave, the inevitability of its fate obvious to its occupants. Sian felt like that small fisherman's boat, the wave of nausea slowly building up around her, the inevitability of its presence looming over her. She got to her feet hastily; lurching for the door of the room and flinging it open wildly. She ran, her brain finding an unobstructed course to the hospital entrance without registering its path in her conscious mind. Sian heard the footfall of someone following behind her and she threw herself into the dark night outside, the cold air hitting her squarely, forcing a rush of air from her lungs.

She inhaled again quickly, the cold air stinging her lungs as she crouched down, her back resting against a pillar constructing the ambulance bay. She dropped her head back to rest against the hard cold metal, fighting, with all her will, not to throw up.

Unfortunately, just like the fisherman knew their final attempts at escape would not defeat the giant wave, Sian knew her own battle was just as futile. Just as she heard Rosie's concerned voice approach from behind her, she was engulfed by another wave of nausea and her body, unable to protest any longer, finally relinquished itself to it.


	4. Chapter 4

Rosie squatted down beside Sian, pulling the younger girls blonde hair out of her eyes and face. Sian looked up at her appreciatively, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand which was once again enveloped in the sleeve of her jumper. The contents of her stomach now empty, Sian returned to her position of leaning against the metal pillar, her head tipped back in contemplation, her eyes closed as she tried to compose herself.

A part of her felt better now that the nausea had passed, her stomach cramps had eased to an almost tolerable level and her head, although still hazy, seemed to have ceased its incessant throbbing. Her chest however, ached with an emptiness that Sian had never felt before. She felt hollow and numb, as though life had lost all meaning and purpose. Worst of all, she _feared_. Feared for Sophie, for the Webster's: Sally, Rosie and Kevin, but, most of all, she feared for herself, because if this is what life would be like from now on, without Sophie, then, it really wasn't a life at all.

Sian felt Rosie settle beside her, pulling her from her thoughts. She lifted her head slightly to study the older girl, who was now seated directly to Sian's right, her legs stretched out in front of her, shoulders squared as they too leant against the solid pillar.

Noticing Sian's attention had returned to her, Rosie said nothing, knowing that what the blonde needed to hear, she could not offer her, that there were no words in situations like these which would lighten the moment, would dampen the pain and the anxiousness. So, instead, Rosie just thread her left arm underneath Sian's right and dropped her head onto the blondes shoulder. She felt herself swell with emotion at Rosie's gesture, so small in its purest form but its meaning massive in the context of the moment. It said more than any words Rosie could have voiced, spoke volumes of the girls own grief and distress. For Rosie, someone normally so vocal and energetic, this serenity, this silence, was out of place. However, its effect on Sian was not lost and she couldn't help but feel comforted as they sat together, both lost in their own thoughts.

In an attempt at reciprocating Rosie's support, Sian reached out and took her pale hand in her own, before gently resting her head atop the raven coloured hair of Sophie's older sister. For a while they just remained like this, neither one speaking, time passing unnoticed and uneventfully around them as they waited. Finally, Sian turned her head to look at Rosie, a tear tracing lines down the other girls' cheek, another mascara line scarring her already blackened face.

"I'm sorry," Sian said simply, her own eyes stinging with the threat of tears once again at the sight of Rosie, a shadow of her normally buoyant self.

Rosie wiped the tear away with her free hand and turned to look at Sian, a puzzled expression on her face.

"Sorry?" She asked confused. "What are you sorry for?"

"I don't know," Sian replied gesturing with a nod of her head in the direction of her now lost stomach contents. "For before I suppose."

Rosie followed Sian's gaze and sat up quickly, causing Sian to shift her position in return.

"Sian!" Rosie said exasperated, her voice taking on some of its familiar shrillness. "Please don't apologise for that."

"Why?" Sian asked, "I am sorry. You shouldn't have seen that. You should be inside with your family. Not…sitting out here in the cold with me."

Rosie pulled Sian into a tight embrace and held her there for a moment as she spoke.

"You might not be _my_ family," Rosie stated simply, "but, you're one of the most important things in Sophie's life and that _makes_ you a part of this family."

"Rosie…" Sian began to protest, distancing herself from the older girl to look at her.

"Sian, look," Rosie interrupted, ignoring the blonde's objection. "I've not exactly got the best track record when it comes to being Sophie's sister, especially recently. I don't know what happened tonight…or what's _been_ happening over the last few weeks, months really… I suppose."

Sian watched Rosie closely as she paused; searching for the words that she needed to get her point across to the younger girl.

"Maybe I was trying to pretend that everything was alright, I don't know…maybe I thought if I just carried on as if nothing had happened, that me mum and dad weren't always at each other's throats or trying to outdo each other then things could be normal."

Rosie smiled sadly at Sian, another tear escaping from her eye and following in its predecessor's earlier path.

"Maybe I was just being myself," she said contemplating how everything had fallen apart after the tram crash. "Maybe I'm just selfish."

Sian wanted to tell Rosie that she wasn't selfish, that perhaps with everything going on around them they'd all been a little guilty of putting themselves first, of not considering each other's feelings. After all, she was just as accountable, if not more so than Rosie ever would be. She'd left Sophie in the midst of all her problems, alone and hurt, struggling to keep her head above water at college, caught up in the war between her feuding parents. At the time, Sian had thought she'd been doing the right thing. She'd convinced herself that she was leaving for Sophie's benefit. That her presence at the Webster's was a complication that she didn't need when there was already so much going on. She honestly thought that with her gone, Sophie would be able to concentrate on her college work, build bridges and make amends with her parents. Had she even the slightest idea that this is how things would have worked out, that she would only help to push Sophie closer to the edge of the precarious ledge she'd been walking, both metaphorically and literally, she'd never have gone. She would have held onto Sophie as though her life depended on it and she'd have never let her go. Deep down though, Sian new that she'd partly left for herself, to get away from the constant sniping, from walking on egg shells at every possible turn. She loved Sophie, she did, but living with her under the external pressure of her parents divorce was affecting their relationship negatively and Sian hadn't want to lose the person she loved because of someone elses problems. Her motives for leaving were both selfless and selfish, born from the need to help Sophie but also helping herself in the process.

Sian felt her stomach cramp once again, but this time, no bile rose and the nausea she was so used to, failed to take a hold of her. Instead she was overwhelmed by remorse, her conscience punishing her physically for the responsibility she now felt over Sophie's predicament.

"What I'm trying to say," Rosie continued, bringing Sian back into the moment. "Is that, you were there for Sophie through all this stuff with me mum and dad. You tried to help her with college, even when she didn't like you for it, when I was too wrapped up in my own drama to listen."

Rosie sighed heavily, deflated.

"I guess I don't really know Sophie at the moment, not like you do…not as well as I should, but," Rosie carried on. "I know that she wouldn't want you to be alone, she'd want to know you were alright and that someone was looking after you."

"Yeah," Sian said dejectedly, "and what about you Rosie, eh? If you're here with me then who's going to be looking after you?"

"Well, I hoped you would," Rosie said laughing despite their situation. "If not though, I've got me mum and Jason…me dad as well I guess."

"Yeah course," Sian responded. "I just, I don't know how good I'll be to you though, I mean….look at me," she gestured to herself, her eyes now freely flowing with the tears which they'd earlier promised. "I'm a right mess, Rosie. What good am I to anyone like this? Especially to Sophie….she needs me to be strong for her."

"No," Rosie disagreed. "She needs us to be _here_. That's all, just _here_…now…and when she wakes up."

"What if she doesn't?" Sian asked, her voice trembling, barely able to vocalise her trepidation aloud for fear it would come true.

"Then…we'll still be here," Rosie replied quickly, not wanting to dwell on that terrible thought for too long, "and we'll deal with it together…all of us, ok?"

Sian nodded her head in understanding and Rosie acknowledged it with a smile, squeezing Sian's hand tightly in her own.

"Rosie," Sian began, watching Sophie's sister closely and seeing, not for the first time, a glimpse of her true self. Not the superficial model with a questionable dress sense, or the occasionally loose lipped airhead, but someone who is compassionate and loving, who defended not only Sophie's sexuality when their secret had been revealed, but hers as well. This was the Rosie who had supported Sian and Sophie's relationship ever since she'd found out about it, who'd emptied her purse to help them stay together, helped given them refuge when Sally had found them in bed together at New Years. "Sophie's really lucky to have you as her sister, you know? I know you feel like you've let her down in the past, but; you always come through for her when it really matters."

"Except this time," Rosie mused.

"No," Sian said, this time squeezing Rosie's hand encouragingly, "even now."


	5. Chapter 5

Having watched both Sian and Rosie's hasty and successive departures from the small waiting room, Jason stood from where he'd been sitting beside the Pastor in an attempt to follow after the girls. He took a hesitant step towards the doorway, unsure whether his presence would be welcomed by his girlfriend and Sian, or, whether it would seem like an intrusion into a personal moment between the two of them. He stood unmoving, his heart and his mind waging war with one another over what to do for the best. His heart wanted to be with Rosie, to wrap her up in his arms, to kiss her and tell her that he was here for her, that everything would be alright, that _Sophie_, would be alright. His mind however, knew there was the very real chance that the younger girl might not survive, that Rosie was facing the prospect of losing her sister and no matter how hard Jason tried, he could not even fathom what that would do to his girlfriend. He tried to imagine how he would feel if the roles were ever reversed, if it were not Sophie fighting for her life on an operating table, but his own brother Todd.

Jason shook his head to rid the unsolicited images which suddenly filled his thoughts. Pictures of his brother, wires and plastic tubing consuming his body as he lay exposed to the surgeon's knife. Visions of electronic monitors displaying Todd's struggle to survive whilst the room watched, the doctors hands tied as the monotonous beep died down to be replaced with the shrill sound of a heart in asystole. It didn't even bear thinking about. The thought was horrific and distressing. So much so that Jason had the sudden urge to call his brother, to hear his voice and ensure that he was safe and well. To know that Rosie was probably conjuring up the same visions of Sophie urged him to take another step closer towards the door, towards her, but, once again, it was his mind that prevented him from venturing any further.

His concerns switched to Sian and he recalled her expression as Dr Trevelyan had relayed Sophie's injuries to them all. Initially she'd seemed almost desperate, her eyes flitting between a forlorn looking Sally and the man in scrubs, searching, no, _pleading_ silently with him to tell them something positive about the girl she loved. As he'd continued, she'd become despondent, her interest in his words all but lost beneath the sound of her own dark thoughts. Then finally, when the doctor had tried to quash any hope that they might have in order to prepare them for the worst, she'd broken, her need to escape from the reality of the situation overwhelming her.

Sophie and Sian had been through a lot together in the past year. Both of them having to overcome the struggle of understanding their own feelings for one another, the scrutiny of their relationship by their families and neighbours when it had become public knowledge followed by the difficulties of running away with little more than the clothes on their backs and a few pounds in change in their pockets. Nothing had ever been easy for the couple. Sophie and Sian's relationship was met with resistance and obstacles at every possible turn. Now this had happened and Jason wondered if Sian would ever get to experience all the little things with Sophie again. Those stolen moments between two people which seemed insignificant to the outside world but would remain etched on each other's memories until the day they died. A shared look across a crowded room, a small smile extending across your partners face at the sight of you, a lingering embrace or a kiss that seemed to make all time stand still.

His attention returned to Rosie. There were days where she would drive him crazy, that he wondered what he'd ever seen in her, but, as much as she could frustrate him to within an inch of his sanity, could be overbearing and self-centred, he couldn't remember what his life had been like without her, couldn't picture ever going back to who he was before he met her. There was a natural order to relationships; you either spent the rest of your lives together, loving the same person until the day that you died, or you separated. Both outcomes involved pain and heartache, but, only the latter allowed closure, the opportunity to truly move forward and move on with your life, to find happiness with someone else. To be separated by death suddenly, was different. It had finality to it in some respects, but no matter what happens in your life, you will never truly be able to forget the person that you lost. You would always wonder how different your life would be had they lived, whether it would be happier. You'd always wonder whether the constant ache of a loss so permanent would have lingered in the background of every moment, every day, shading everything, forever.

If anything held Jason frozen in place, stopped him from leaving the room and following after the two girls, it was that. Sian needed to be alone, to deal with whatever feelings, whatever emotions had caused her hurried exit from the room. If it were him, that's what he would want; time to process everything that was happening, to find some composure without the involvement of anyone else. What did he know though, he was a bloke. They would almost always rather be alone if they were feeling vulnerable then show weakness in public.

Women were different though, they didn't mind sharing their emotions with each other. In fact, they almost longed for someone else to share in their grief with them, to give them comfort and support. Normally, that role would belong to their partner or someone else that they trusted and were close to, but, with Sophie in her current predicament, that left Sian decidedly alone, except for Rosie.

Sian needed Rosie right now, and she needed the blonde. As long as they both had each other, they'd be alright. They had an understanding of Sophie that he didn't and it was that which they would need to hold onto to help them get through this difficult time. He'd be here for Rosie when she came to him, for Sian too if that's what she needed, but until then, the best thing he could do was stay where he was and wait, give them a chance to talk. Besides, someone should stay with Sally. She'd need someone to remain with her in case there was any news of Sophie's condition.

He turned towards the older woman who was now standing before the doctor, one hand over her mouth, the other, wrapped loosely around herself, her shoulders sagging, defeated. Dr Trevelyan placed a comforting hand on her upper arm and said something which Jason did not catch from his position across the room. Sally nodded sadly in acknowledgement of his words before he removed his hand from her arm and turned to leave, following in the footsteps of Sian and Rosie only moments ago.

Sally dropped back into the seat behind her, her head seeking comfort in her hands as she sobbed silently to herself. Jason closed the distance between himself and Rosie's mum, descending into the vacant seat beside her. He placed a wary hand on her shoulder in an attempt at comfort, but, the gesture felt awkward, as though, it wasn't his place. Sally lifted her head from her hands to look at him and a small smile escaped her lips, despite the tears emanating from her eyes. She reached over and took Jason's had, a sign that she was grateful for his support and the unease which he had previously felt suddenly dissipated.

"Thank you," Sally said to him, wiping at her eyes with her free hand.

Jason didn't respond verbally at first, just nodded his acknowledgement, all words of comfort lost to his lips.

"Sally," he said after a moment, causing the older woman to look towards him once more. "Is there anyone that I can call for you? Anyone that you'd like to be here with you?"

"No," she said simply in response. "I don't think so, but thank you Jason."

"What about Rita?" Jason asked concern evident in his voice. "I can let her know what's happened. I'm sure she won't mind coming up here."

"It's late," Sally said kindly. "I wouldn't want to disturb her." She paused for a moment before adding. "Besides, there's nothing for her to do here but wait, just like the rest of us."

"Well," Jason replied. "If you change your mind just let me know, ok?"

"I will," Sally agreed, releasing his hand to rummage through her purse. She pulled out a tissue and wiped at her eyes and nose before screwing it up into a ball and putting it in a nearby bin.

"Do you want me to go and find Rosie?" Jason offered, in an attempt to fill the silence which had now fallen over the room, still at a loss as to how to help Sally.

"No leave her," Sally said. "Her and Sian will be back when they're ready."

"I'm sorry Sally," Jason apologised, feeling anything but the height of usefulness. "I don't really know what I should be doing…what to say…"

Sally smiled at her daughters' boyfriend in understanding.

"I don't think any of us do Jason," she responded sympathetically.

"Perhaps we could offer up a prayer?" The Pastor suggested.

Both Jason and Sally glanced towards the man who was standing off to the side as though just remembering that he was there. He was keeping a respectful distance from the pair of them, not wanting to intrude upon their grief but reluctant to leave altogether until there was some further news on Sophie's condition.

"A prayer?" Sally asked indignantly.

"Yes," the Pastor replied, missing the incensed tone of Sally's voice. "We can pray to the Lord to watch over Sophie and…."

"Watch over her?" Sally scoffed, standing from her seat and taking a step towards the Pastor.

Jason stood up from his position and put a steadying hand on Sally's arm.

"Why would he be watching over her now?" she asked heatedly. "He seems to have been doing a pretty poor job of it so far hasn't he? Otherwise we wouldn't be here…we wouldn't have to ask him to _watch over her_."

"Mrs Webster," The Pastor tried to explain. "God tests all his children in order to prove their faith and establish the intent of their hearts. He wants us all to experience victory over…"

"You can't honestly believe that?" Sally asked him. "That this is God's bidding!"

"I didn't mean to offend you," the Pastor apologised. "I just thought that…"

"Well you thought wrong didn't you," Sally cut him off. "If you knew Sophie, really _knew_ her, then you wouldn't be saying this. She's been questioning her faith for a while now. She's been _tested_," she said emphasizing the word, "for nigh on a year."

She paused for a moment, edging nearer to the Pastor once again. He dropped his gaze to the floor, not wanting to meet her gaze.

"If this has all been a part of God's plan, if it were his…" she paused searching for the word which he had used, "_intent_…for her to overcome these things, then where were you?"

"I'm sorry?" he asked confused, his head lifting to look at her once again.

"You heard me," she said. "Why were you not there to help her? To ensure that she would be _victorious_, as you put it. When you discovered Sophie's sexuality you were anything but supportive, you all but rejected her from your church…"

"That's not strictly true," The Pastor tried to defend. "I tried to help, I highlighted that God puts temptation in our paths…."

"To test us," Sally finished for him. "So you keep saying."

"Yes," he replied. "I explained to the girls that the impulses that Sophie and Sian feel for one another, they're not sinful, but by acting on them, they'd abandoned God and given in to the temptation to fulfil their own pleasures out of greed."

Sally took a step closer to the Pastor, and Jason held onto her arm to restrain her, afraid that she would lash out and hit him.

"Look," Jason said stepping in front of Sally slightly to put some distance between her and the Pastor. "I'm not being funny mate, but maybe you should just leave."

The Pastor looked between Sally and Jason, reluctant to leave. He wanted to help Sophie find her way back to God. Her behaviour tonight had only proved what the Pastor had pre-empted all those months before. That, by abandoning God, Sophie was on a slippery descent into self-destruction. That without sharing in God's values, she would become lost. From his impression of Sophie at the church earlier, that's exactly what he'd thought she was, _lost_. Although he did not agree with Sophie's past choices, he still worried about her well-being and he wanted to make sure that she was alright before he left.

"I'm sorry," The Pastor apologised, "I just think that, if Sophie wasn't questioning her decisions, possibly even regretting them, then she wouldn't have been at the church today. By abandoning God, she…"

"If she was there," Sally interjected once more, "it was because she was lonely and confused and hurt. She was looking for someone to talk to, to help her."

Sally paused for a moment before continuing.

"I haven't exactly been the best mum over the recent months," she acknowledged, "but I _tried_. What did you say to her tonight? When she came to you for some refuge, for some guidance that led us here?"

"I admit that her presence at the church was not met with the greatest sympathy from the choir but…" The Pastor began to explain.

"Get out," Sally said vehemently.

"Mrs Webster," The Pastor tried to continue.

"I said, get out!" Sally repeated, her voice rising in anger.

The Pastor made to protest once more, but Jason stepped forward and placed a steady hand on his chest.

"You heard her," he said uncompromisingly, pushing the Pastor slightly in the direction of the door. "Leave."

He looked as though he was going to say something further, but then decided against it. The Pastor moved towards the doorway, pausing only briefly before it to say, "I'm sorry, I hope Sophie will be ok," before disappearing through it.

Jason turned to Sally who once again had tears lining the contours of her cheeks, but, whether from anger or sadness, he could not tell. He placed an arm around her shoulder and slowly led her back into the chair where she'd previously been seated. Just as he was about to say something, he heard the door of the waiting room crash open once more. He felt his heart stop in his chest instantly, a fear wash over his whole body as Sally tensed beside him. They looked up in unison, their gazes finding the doorway, finding Kevin standing framed in its structure. He looked flustered, out of breath and Jason did not doubt that he'd probably run all the way here from the car park.

When he spotted them looking at him he started towards where they were sat his words spilling out of his mouth in a rushed array of thoughts.

"The receptionist told me you were in here," he answered their unasked question before speaking one of his own. "What's going on?" He asked panic etched in his voice. "How's Sophie?"


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh Kevin," Sally said jumping instinctively out of her chair and throwing her arms around his shoulders.

For an instant Kevin stood unmoving, the shock of Sally's closeness after almost two months of constant bickering overwhelming him. It took him a minute to register the meaning behind her gesture but as it dawned on him, he felt his hands wrap around her familiar body, pulling her into a tight embrace. He buried his head against her neck where it'd fit so perfectly for years and inhaled the well-known scent of her hair.

He felt Sally cry into his chest, her pain, her despair, tearing through him like a knife. Kevin squeezed her tighter as he felt her hands tug desperately against the back of his jacket and his gut wrenched in dread.

Ever since the tram crash, since his secret affair with Molly and the paternity of baby Jack had been revealed, Sally could barely look him in the eye. When she did happen to pass him in the street, he was always met with contemptuous looks and disparaging remarks. Not that Kevin could really blame her. After all, he loathed himself just as much as she did, if not more. He'd single-handedly ripped their family apart and, for what, nothing more meaningful then a physical relationship, a primitive desire, which didn't mean _anything _to him at the end of the day. At the time he'd thought he was in love with Molly. He'd felt trapped in his relationship with Sally, bored even. Life had become monotonous and predictable. His affair had offered him the opportunity for some excitement and he realised now that it was the lies, the sneaking around which had held the most attraction for him.

That had all ended though, as soon as Sally had uttered those devastating words to him on Christmas day. _Cancer_. It had changed everything, had made him realise what was really important to him. _His family._ They'd been happy once, not perfect, but…happy. Then the tram had come crashing into the street like a meteor, destroying lives and causing chaos in its wake. The event itself was over quickly, but the aftermath, the residual damage, would forever linger in their lives, tainting everything, changing _everything._

Kevin reached a hand up and gently caressed the back of Sally's head as she continued to cry into his chest. His own eyes were closed, his breath fast as he struggled to contain his own emotions. Sally had despised Kevin since she'd shared Molly's final moments with her in the corner shop, had told him so on numerous occasions since then, so, for her to be here now, clinging to him, could only mean one thing: however Sophie was, whatever had happened to her…it was serious.

Kevin sighed heavily, a small sob escaping from his lips as he did so, an unwelcome tear finding its way down his cheek. Images of his youngest daughter flashed before him. The first moment he'd ever laid eyes on her and the unmistakable feeling of pride and accomplishment. He remembered the first step she'd ever taken, the first word she'd ever said, her first day at school, the moment she'd learnt to ride a bike, had passed her GCSE's, so many moments. He hated the thought that they might be all that he'd ever have, because, despite their number, it would never be enough, he would _always_ want more. He wanted to be able to teach her to drive, see her pass her driving test, become an adult and live her life independently from himself and Sally, become a person in her own right. He wanted to give her away on her wedding day. It didn't matter to him that the person she would choose to spend her life with was another woman, as long as _she_ was happy. That's all he'd ever wanted for his children.

He squeezed Sally firmly once more, before releasing his grip slightly to open up the space between them and look at her properly. She met his gaze, her eyes swollen from her tears and Kevin wiped at one still lingering on her cheek with the ball of his thumb.

Sally moved away at his touch, memories of Kevin's deceit resurfacing amidst her anguish, logic and reason returning to her once again. She extracted herself from his arms, the same anger and resentment in her eyes that he'd become so used to. She returned to where she'd been seated before beside Jason, embarrassment at her instinctive behaviour apparent on her face. It was nothing more than a lapse in behaviour, a mistake and whatever weakness she'd shown at seeing the father of her daughter, the only other person who could truly understand how she felt in this moment, was now replaced with an indelible resolve to distance herself from him, to once again become stoic and indifferent to him. It seemed that, no matter how real the prospect of losing their daughter might be, it was not enough for her to be able to put their recent history behind them completely. It was not enough to bury it, so that they might show a united front for Sophie when she needed them the most.

Kevin wiped at his eyes hastily to clear any evidence of his own despair, his own grief. He would not give her the satisfaction of seeing his pain, would not show her how vulnerable he was feeling in this moment. It wasn't thoughts of Sally which cut him up inside now, but the thought of losing his youngest daughter. He couldn't bear to lose her, to not be able to hold her in his arms again and offer her comfort, to see the warmth of her smile, hear the music in her laugh. People say you live for your children, that they are your whole world, your biggest success in life. If Sophie died, his life, his world, would be ripped asunder and he would gladly give anything, even his own life, if it meant that she would be alright.

Kevin turned his attention towards Jason who was watching him closely from his position next to Sally, a sympathetic expression on his face. He tried to read the younger boys eyes, tried to get an idea of Sophie's condition from his demeanour by silently beseeching him to say something, to give him some information. Jason, evidently uncomfortable at being caught in the middle of the feuding parents, dropped his gaze to the floor, leaving Kevin no alternative but to address Sally, whose eyes were burning him with animosity. Kevin shifted uneasily on his feet, his mouth struggling to verbalise his next question out loud for fear of the response.

"How bad is she?" Kevin finally managed after a moment.

Sally continued to meet his eyes squarely, the same look of disdain across her face.

"Sal?" Kevin pleaded when his wife didn't reply. "Please," he begged. "I know that things have been less then amicable between us since…well, you know…but Sophie's my daughter too. I just want to know how she is."

"Where's Jack?" Sally asked as she wiped at her nose with another tissue.

"What's that got to do with anything?" Kevin asked her curtly, his temper beginning to get the better of him.

"It's just I thought he was your number one priority now," Sally said scornfully. "I'm surprised you even bothered turning up."

"That's not fair," Kevin said his voice rising in anger. "You know that I love the girls, nothing would ever change that."

"Oh really," Sally said. "Then where have you been Kevin? Rosie called you over an hour ago."

"I had to find someone to look after Jack," he responded. "I didn't think it'd be in anyone's best interest for him to be here, do you?"

"Of course," she sneered. "_That child_ comes first once again. It doesn't matter that your youngest daughter might _die_, as long as he's taken care of."

"Here we go," Kevin groaned. "I can't do right for doing wrong, can I Sal? If I'd bought him you would have picked a fight with me an' all."

"Guys," Jason said trying to smooth over some of the tension, "do you really think this is the time to be fighting with each other?"

"She started it," Kevin said turning towards Jason, "all I want to know is how Sophie is; I didn't think it was asking too much, what with me being her dad."

"Oh give up the moral high ground Kevin," Sally said standing up. "The last few months you've only been her dad when it suited you. I mean, you didn't even know that things were bad at college until _I'd_ told you."

"Yeah, well, she's been living with you Sal, hasn't she? It didn't seem to help much though did it?" he retorted. "She still got kicked out, didn't she? You were probably too busy with your new _boyfriend_ to care what was happening under your own roof."

"How dare you!" Sally exclaimed, standing from the seat once again. "My relationship with Jeff has nothing to do with this. I tried to help her, but she's just like you when she wants to be, stubborn and bad-tempered. She didn't want my help. What was I supposed to do? March her down to the college myself, stand over her whilst she did her assignments?"

"Yeah," Kevin replied. "If that's what it would take."

"I suppose that's what you would have done, isn't it? Pandered to her behaviour, lavished her with attention." Sally mused. "She's almost an adult Kevin; she should take some responsibility for her own actions…"

"Did you even try to talk to her?" Kevin questioned. "Or were you too busy _pandering _to Rosie? I could understand if she'd been bunking off school, but it's not like Sophie. She's always been a good student, got pretty much straight A's in her GCSE's…you should have realised she was having problems, that something was wrong."

"If something was wrong," Sally said coolly, "it was because you were trying to sell our house, her _home._ How was she supposed to concentrate on schoolwork when she was worried she'd have nowhere to live?"

"I pay for that house Sal," Kevin pointed out, "and I don't even live there anymore. I can't afford to pay the mortgage and rent somewhere new for me and Jack. You know I'd never see her homeless, she could always have stayed with me."

Sally scoffed at his remark.

"You'd put up Sian too I suppose would you?" she asked him. "They pretty much come as a package deal nowadays."

"I'd figure something out." He replied.

"You're just saying that because you feel guilty," Sally groaned. "You know that this is down to you, don't you? Sophie being in here, it's all your fault. If you hadn't been sleeping with that cheap little tart, no of this would have happened."

"Mum!" Rosie exclaimed from the doorway where she now stood with Sian.

Jason, Sally and Kevin all turned in their direction, an uncomfortable silence falling over the room at the girls' unexpected arrival. Kevin noted their appearance, their swollen eyes and drawn faces. Sian had the sleeves of her jumper pulled down low over her hands, both of which were tangled up together in front of her, her eyes were fixed on the floor at her feet as she shuffled anxiously on the spot. Beside the blonde, Rosie had her arms wrapped around her chest tightly, her face showing her shock and disbelief at the scene she'd just walked in on.

"I'm sorry love," Sally said to Rosie whilst throwing a disgruntled look at Kevin, "but it's true. Everything was going fine until his sordid secret became public knowledge. That's when Sophie's troubles started, that's when this family fell apart at the seams. He can deny it as much as he wants, but, deep down he knows I'm right."

Kevin looked towards his eldest daughter who met his eyes with a sorrowful expression on her face. This constant arguing was hurting her, he could see it now. Every bad word, every insult and snide remark was eroding away at her and if himself and Sally kept this up for much longer, this tiresome feud, who knew where it could end. They already had one daughter in the hospital; did they really want to risk losing another?

"Your mums right," Kevin said lowering his gaze slightly before glancing back towards Sally, who had a surprised expression on her face.

"Dad…" Rosie began to protest, taking a step into the room. "This isn't your fault. It was an accident…"

"Oh don't bother Rosie," Sally said interrupting her daughter. "Let him feel bad like the rest of us have been for the last few months. It's the least he deserves."

"You know what mum," Rosie said anger evident in her voice. "You're not exactly innocent in all this either."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sally replied standing up from her chair.

"You've been so concerned with getting one over on dad that you didn't even notice what effect your constant fighting was having on Sophie," she explained heatedly. "Or…if you did notice, you didn't care enough to do anything about it. What was it you said, something about Sophie neglecting herself?"

Rosie paused for a moment to step a little further into the room before continuing.

"Did you ever think that maybe she was doing that to get your attention?" Rosie carried on. "She may be sixteen but she's still just a kid and she's caught up in the middle of your problems."

Rosie turned to address both her parents at the same time, her eyes moving between the two of them from where she stood.

"It doesn't matter whose fault it is. It doesn't matter who slept with someone else, or which of you sabotaged what. Mum," she said turning her attention back to Sally. "You've made mistakes and dad," she continued looking towards her father. "So have you. We all have, all of us, even me, but, you know what, it doesn't _matter. _All that matters is that, Sophie…" Rosie paused for a moment, her words catching in her throat as she struggled to hold back her emotions, to stop herself from crying once again.

"All that matters," she sniffled, wiping at a tear trickling down the length of her nose with her hand. "Is that Sophie, _your _daughter comes through this alright. If she does, well, then you can get back to fighting with one another, to _blaming _each other…but please, I am asking you both to just, stop arguing so that we can focus on what's important, focus on _her."_

Kevin and Sally said nothing, just looked at each other, both speechless at their eldest daughters outburst, both knowing that, every word she'd said was true. There was _nothing_ more important than Sophie right now. _Nothing._


	7. Chapter 7

After Rosie's words had managed to firmly put both her parents in their place, the room fell into a lulled silence. Rosie returned to Sian, who was still lingering in the doorway to the room, a look of uncertainty on her face. The tension in the room was almost palpable and Sian hesitated at the prospect of entering into it, fearful that Sally or Kevin's resentments might soon be aimed at her. After all, if they were so easy to blame each other for Sophie's condition, then it wasn't a stretch for them to look towards Sian's recent absence as a catalyst for her self-destructive behaviour. Sian already blamed herself enough for leaving Sophie when she was drowning in despair, she didn't think she could deal with anyone else condemning her for it as well.

Sian didn't get to dwell on her indecision long though, as the older girl took one of her hands reassuringly and led her over towards the empty chairs still lining the waiting room wall. Slowly, Rosie descended into the vacant seat beside Jason, pulling Sian down into the free one on her other side.

Once seated, Rosie turned towards Jason and smiled briefly.

"You're still here," she said dropping her head onto his shoulder and taking his left hand in her right.

"Of course I am babe," he replied resting his head atop hers and squeezing her hand reassuringly. "I'm not going anywhere."

Rosie shifted her position slightly to catch a glimpse of Sian, whose head was leaning back against the wall, her eyes closed. She squeezed the blondes' hand comfortingly where it still sat in hers and Sian opened her eyes to look at Sophie's sister. She gave her a small smile in acknowledgement, understanding Rosie's unspoken offer of support, before closing her eyes once again, her mind wandering back to thoughts of her girlfriend. Rosie glanced over at her parents, who were still standing motionless, their eyes watching her intently.

She gave them one last look before defiantly closing her eyes and snuggling up closer to Jason so that her head was nestled contentedly in the crook of his neck for the long wait ahead. From where she sat, Rosie heard her mum take up her previous position beside Jason, closely followed by her father's footsteps behind her as he made towards the chair which Dr Trevelyan had vacated earlier.

After a brief period of silence, Rosie finally heard her mum begin to reiterate everything that they knew about Sophie's injuries to her dad, who remained quiet and pensive throughout. Although they'd had spoken to each other without incidence, there was no further communication between the two of them once the essentials had been discussed and the room once again lapsed into a soundless tranquillity.

As the five of them sat there undisturbed, the seconds ticked slowly by into minutes, the minutes into an hour, one hour into another, until five hours had passed and it was one o'clock in the morning with still no word on Sophie's condition.

With every passing moment, Sian could feel herself becoming more and more overwrought. She would have slept had her body let her, but despite her physical exhaustion, her mind was running itself ragged, one anxious thought being interrupted by something more sinister, more despairing. Her whole nervous system felt frayed beyond repair. It was as though she'd had too much caffeine and every noise, every slight movement, made her eyes jump open in anticipation of news regarding Sophie. Each time however, she was met with disappointment, the noises turning out to be nothing more than one of the other four occupants of the room shifting positions in the seats.

Once again she reasoned with herself that this lack of information was good, that, if anything had happened to Sophie, someone would have told them by now. The fact that they were still waiting, still _suffering_, meant that she was holding her own in theatre, that there was still hope, still work to be done to help bring her girlfriend safely back to them all, back to _her_.

With every passing minute, Sian found her mind wandering to trivial things in an attempt to distract herself from the seemingly endless passing of time, from the black hole which threatened to consume her entirely at any moment. She started listing things in her head which also took five hours; a one way flight to Athens or Cyprus from Manchester Airport, a drive down to Somerset from Weatherfield, one and a half movies from The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, just under three GCSE exams, depending on the subject.

She was just in the midst of trying to figure out the size of a turkey that would be cooked in five hours when the door to the waiting room opened unexpectedly, causing all thoughts of poultry to be dropped instantly.

Sian sat up in her chair quickly and glanced in the direction of the door to find Dr Trevelyan standing there, appearing tired and haggard. She glanced around at the others to find Rosie and Jason stirring in their seats, each rubbing at the sleep in their eyes as they sat upright. Kevin was already out of his chair and on his feet before the doctor could even enter the room, followed closely by Sally behind him.

"Sorry if I woke you," Dr Trevelyan apologised, entering the room and closing the door behind him. "I know it's late and I'm sorry for keeping you waiting but your daughters' operation was more complicated than we initially thought that it would be."

Sian felt her heart stop in her chest at his words and she put her hand to her mouth instinctively. _Complicated_ was never anything good. Just the word alone held negative connotations, it suggested difficulty, complexity and intricacy. None of which were desirable given the situation.

"Please," Dr Trevelyan said gesturing to Sally and Kevin's empty chairs. "Have a seat. There's quite a bit that I need to tell you."

Sally seated herself back in the same seat she'd occupied for the last few hours, but Kevin stood firm, eager for clarification on one thing before he deferred to the medical professional.

"First, please, just, tell us if she's alright?" he asked glancing around at the rest of the group who were all listening intently.

"Sophie made it through the operation." Dr Trevelyan reassured him. "She's in recovery now, but we'll soon be moving her to the intensive care unit for close monitoring."

Sian released a steady breath that she'd not known she'd been holding at his words. Sophie was alive and, considering everything her girlfriend had probably been through in the last five hours, it was all any of them could ask for.

"Thank you," Kevin sighed, reaching out a hand to shake the doctors' vigorously before releasing it to return to his seat.

Dr Trevelyan nodded his head in acknowledgement as he pulled up an empty chair and slowly seated himself before them all once again.

"As I mentioned before," the doctor continued his update. "Sophie suffered extensive injuries from the fall and, although she's made it through the operation, she still has a long way to go before she's out of the woods. We'll be watching her closely over the next forty-eight hours for any deterioration in her condition but, for now, she is in a critical but stable condition."

Dr Trevelyan paused to allow the weight of his words to sink in before continuing.

"Mostly, the operation went without incidence," he said turning his attention to Sally, "we managed to address her more minor injuries fairly routinely, her facial lacerations were cleaned and stitched up and we repaired the fracture to her right upper limb using a metal plate to ensure the site remains stable whilst it's healing. Her rib fractures have been surgically stabilised as well however, her lower limb fractures have been managed conservatively with a cast."

Dr Trevelyan glanced over towards Sian who was hanging on to every word that he said with upmost attention. Trying to ascertain what every little piece of information meant in the grand scheme of things but failing to do so without the whole picture.

"In regards to the damage to her right lung," Dr Trevelyan went on, scanning the faces in the room as he spoke. "We've repaired the laceration which resulted in the tension pneumothorax along with the injury to Sophie's diaphragm."

"What about that tube thingy?" Rosie asked curiously. "Have you taken that out?"

"We've kept the chest tube in place for the time being," Dr Trevelyan clarified. "Once we're satisfied that there is no further air or blood leaking from the wound we'll remove it, we should have a better idea of that within the next couple of days or so."

"What about her heart?" Sally asked concern evident in her voice. "You said there was some bleeding around it before…"

"Yes there was," Dr Trevelyan agreed. "Luckily, the pericardiocentesis that we performed in accident and emergency meant that we could periodically drain blood from the sac surrounding the heart until we were able to get Sophie into the operating theatre. Once we were there, we could use suction catheters to remove the blood whilst the pericardium was surgically repaired."

"That's good isn't it?" Kevin asked.

"Of course," Dr Trevelyan reassured him.

"You said that the operation was more complicated then you'd anticipated though." Kevin explained. "It all sounds pretty straight forward so far."

"I did, you're right," the doctor confirmed, "the majority of the operation went as best as we could hope. We repaired the laceration to her liver with no ill effects and the MRI we took of Sophie's spine showed no fractures."

"I don't understand then" Sally commented, a puzzled expression on her face. "What was the complication?"

"Initially we'd planned to treat Sophie's subdural haematoma conservatively," Dr Trevelyan explained. "They can normally resolve by themselves if they're of a certain size, but unfortunately, during the operation Sophie started to show signs of a raised intracranial pressure."

Noting the confused expressions on their faces, Dr Trevelyan elaborated further.

"A raised intracranial pressure can be a sign that there is extreme compression of the brain structure within the skull," he continued. "In Sophie's case, the bleeding in her skull from where she'd hit her head during the accident continued and as the area grew it started to crush the brain tissue beneath it….we had to call the neurosurgeons to come and review her immediately."

"You operated on her brain?" Sian asked shocked. She felt sick at the idea of someone cutting into her girlfriends' skull and had to take a few breaths in order to overcome the sudden nausea.

"They had to perform a craniotomy in order to relive the pressure," Dr Trevelyan confirmed. "If they hadn't done, Sophie would most certainly have died. If the wound had continued to bleed and the resultant pressure to rise, she would have herniated her brain stem, killing her."

"What's a craniotomy?" Rosie asked looking between the doctor and Jason.

"The surgeons removed a piece of Sophie's skull to help evacuate the blood and repair the damaged blood vessels." Dr Trevelyan said. "Once they were satisfied that the bleed was stopped, they replaced the bone and stitched the wound back up."

"She'll be alright though?" Sian asked. "I mean, she's not going to have brain damage or anything?"

"I'm sorry," Dr Trevelyan apologised. "I can't answer that I'm afraid. We won't know the extent of any long term damage, or if there is any, until Sophie regains consciousness."

"When will that be?" Kevin asked him.

"We'll be keeping her sedated for the next few days," the doctor replied. "Her body has been through a massive trauma and she'll likely be in a lot of pain once we start to wean her off it. The sedation will help us regulate her breathing and monitor her intracranial pressure for signs of any further bleeding that might occur."

"What sort of brain damage could she have?" Sally asked looking at Kevin. "I mean she'll be able to live a normal life, won't she?"

"I wouldn't want to speculate at this time," Dr Trevelyan said sympathetically, "but brain damage can range anywhere from something as innocuous as epilepsy to more serious problems like the inability to speak or paralysis of her left upper or lower limb."

He noted the solemn expression of the group and tried to allay their fears.

"I know it's difficult, but try not to worry about it too much for the time being." He encouraged. "There's every possibility that Sophie will wake up with no residual problems from the bleed. The main thing is that she's stable, and trust me, that's no mean feat after what she's been through."

"Can we see her?" Sally asked the doctor.

"Of course," he responded. "I'll show you down to the intensive care unit."

Dr Trevelyan paused for a moment after standing from his chair. "There's not a lot of space on the unit." he explained, "However, they should let you in a couple at a time to see her."

He turned towards the door as the rest of them stood from their respective seats and paused when he reached it.

"Follow me," he said, stepping outside into the corridor, Sophie's nearest and dearest following behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

After they'd left the familiar confines of the waiting room that they had been occupying since their arrival, the Webster's, Jason and Sian followed Dr Trevelyan as he led them through the bustling accident and emergency department and into a maze of corridors towards the hospital elevators. They stood together, their bodies huddled closely as they made their way up the six floors to the top of the hospital and the sixteen bed intensive care unit. Just outside the unit, before two heavy set fire-doors marked I.C.U, the small group came to a standstill whilst Dr Trevelyan went ahead to check on Sophie's condition.

He returned a few moments later to inform them that Sophie remained stable and that she had been placed into a side room on the unit.

"I've spoken to the nurse who's in charge of your daughter's care and she's happy to allow you all in to see Sophie tonight," he informed Sally kindly, turning to the older woman. "However," he continued scanning the remaining faces in the group, "that's on the provision that you're not too loud and leave if requested."

"Of course," Sally said gratefully. "Thank you."

"Before I show you in," Dr Trevelyan began. "I just want to warn you what to expect when you see Sophie."

He paused for a moment thinking of the right words to use in order to prepare them for Sophie's appearance. He knew from experience that families were often shocked when they first came to visit their relatives on the intensive care unit and on occasion, some had even found the experience to be completely overwhelming. However, if given advance notice, people seemed to fare much better than if they hadn't been.

"Sophie has a lot of superficial cuts and bruises to the right side of her body, especially her face," he said his tone neutral, informative. "Her right eye is swollen shut and she has ventilator tubing in her mouth which is helping her to breathe whilst her body is recovering."

He looked around at the faces before him, ensuring that they had all followed his words so far before he continued.

"We've put an nasogastric tube into Sophie's right nostril to help meet her nutritional requirements whilst she's sedated and there are some lines in her neck which are used for giving medications or drawing blood samples." He explained calmly.

Dr Trevelyan shifted his position slightly, placing his left hand on the intensive care unit doors ready to open them.

"Finally," he said, leaning his body weight onto the doors. "We had to shave a portion of Sophie's head in order to perform the emergency craniotomy and repair the bleed in her skull."

The doors opened up and the doctor held them wide whilst the group stepped onto the unit.

"The incision we made was fairly large," he went on, letting the doors close behind him as he entered after them. "However, it's been covered with an adhesive dressing for the time being."

Slowly, he started to make his way over to an enclosed space in the right hand corner of the room, the others following behind him. Once again, he paused just outside the door, his hand resting on the knob as he turned to address the group.

"I know that it might be a shock seeing Sophie this way," he said understandingly, "but considering what she's been through over the last few hours, she's holding up extremely well."

He opened the door to Sophie's room and gestured them all inside.

"I'll leave you alone with her," Dr Trevelyan offered as they passed him.

Sian hesitated momentarily on the threshold, her legs ceasing to propel her further into the room despite her minds insistence. Rosie paused when she realised the blonde had stopped and turned back to face her.

"Sian?" Rosie asked squeezing the younger girls' hand encouragingly.

"I don't think I can do this," Sian replied meeting Rosie's concerned look.

"Of course you can," Rosie reassured her, smiling sadly.

"No Rosie," Sian moaned, taking a step backwards and almost knocking into Dr Trevelyan behind her. "You don't understand…this is all my fault...I can't go in there…I can't…I can't see her like that."

"Hey," Rosie said closing the gap between them once again and placing a comforting hand on Sian's face. "I do understand," she continued. "You think I don't blame myself as well."

"Please," Sian begged the older girl. "I'll just…I'll wait outside, ok?"

"I can take her to the relatives' room?" Dr Trevelyan offered kindly, sensing the younger girls' distress.

"Ok Sian," Rosie said meeting the blondes blue eyes squarely, "listen to me, alright…this is not your fault. It's no one's fault. It was just…a horrible accident, ok?"

Sian didn't say anything just met Rosie's gaze and said _nothing_.

"Now we're going to go in there together," Rosie said pulling Sian slightly by her hand, "because if you don't, you'll regret it."

Rosie placed her free hand on Sian's shoulder and admitted with a startling sincerity, "Besides…I don't think I can go in there if you don't."

The raven haired girl winked in an attempt to lighten the moment before adding, "So, what do you say?"

Sian hesitated for a beat longer before nodding her head meekly. "Ok," she managed to verbalise quietly.

Rosie smiled appreciatively.

"Thank you," she said gratefully before turning and walking into the room to join the rest of her family, leading Sian gently by the hand.

Sian threw one last glance in Dr Trevelyan's direction before the door to Sophie's room closed behind her, obscuring him from her view. She heard Sally's gentle sobs from over her shoulder and turned in their direction, steeling herself for the image of her girlfriend that she was about to see.

For five hours Sian had prayed for Sophie to be alright, for her to make it through the surgery, to stay with her. However, in all her thoughts and hopes, she'd forgotten to realise that if her girlfriend did survive, then she would be left facing her broken form, left to watch whilst she struggled and fought for life.

It wasn't that Sian didn't want to be there for Sophie, in fact, it was quite the opposite. If they'd let her, she'd stay by her girlfriends bedside, day and night, until she could be released home. It was more that she didn't know if she had the strength to do it. To see Sophie's pain, to see how she'd hurt after her parents' divorce had caused an emotive response in Sian, had caused her own chest to ache in sorrow and grief. Sophie's pain was no longer something that was just hers; ever since that first kiss it was Sian's as well, shared together like their love and their life. They each bore the others burdens, experienced the others joy.

Seeing Sophie so vulnerable and knowing that there was nothing she could physically do to help, that there really was nothing now to do but wait, killed Sian. She didn't know if she would strong enough to stand by her, to endure her pain with her whilst feeling so _helpless_. All she knew was that Rosie was right. If she didn't at least _try,_ she'd regret it for the rest of her life. Sian had no illusions that the coming weeks, months even, wouldn't be difficult, but what was love without pain? Without trials? More importantly, who was she without Sophie? _No-one._

Sian walked further into the room, noting Sally leaning over the bedside, her hand wrapped protectively around her daughters. Kevin stood beside her, bent low besides Sophie's head, stroking the side of her face gently with his hand. Rosie stood just in front of Sian on the opposite side of the bed, obscuring the blonde's view of her girlfriend, whilst Jason stood quietly to the side, not wanting to intrude on the Webster's heartache, but wanting to remain nearby in support.

As Sian drew up beside Rosie alongside the bed, a small gasp escaped her mouth at the sight of Sophie. Despite Dr Trevelyan's words of warning, nothing could have prepared Sian for the image that met her gaze.

To imagine what someone looked like after falling from a building was easy. To imagine someone you loved like that was even less so, but to see it, to see the devastation it left on their body was physically painful and Sian felt tears sting the back of her eyelids.

She reached down carefully to pick up Sophie's free hand, careful to mind the cannulas which were protruding from the back of it. She'd held this hand so many times before, felt it's warmth as it squeezed her own hand playfully, or stroke her hair out of her eyes, but it was lifeless now and limp, a million miles away from her memories of it.

Sian looked towards Sophie's head and face and inhaled sharply. It wasn't the shock of seeing her girlfriend; head partly shaved, a blood stained dressing covering her scalp that distressed her. It was that the person lying before her did not look like Sophie, in fact, had Dr Trevelyan not told them it was her, Sian would have had a hard time believing it. Sophie's right eye was swollen tightly shut, a dark bruise already formed in the tissue around it. Her face was covered in cuts and grazes on the right side, but even though the left look remarkably undamaged, it was obscured by the ventilator tubing, making her features difficult to see.

When she thought about what she'd been expecting to be faced with when she entered the room, Sian had imagined seeing Sophie as she was when she slept, peaceful and radiant. She was still radiant, Sian thought to herself, but the monitors and various attachments shattered her illusion of peaceful into a million pieces. This wasn't Sophie, not the person she was. Sophie was bubbly and vibrant, full of life and love and energy. She didn't deserve to be here, her personality sedated and quashed.

Slowly, Sian glanced over the rest of Sophie, taking in every line, every wound and committing it to memory. She noted the dressing on Sophie's right arm, remembered the doctor saying that it had been broken, then fixed with a metal plate and she couldn't help but wonder if that meant from now on, she'd always set off the alarm at the airport as they went through customs. She noted the blood stained dressing protruding from the top of Sophie's hospital gown directly below her neck, imagined the surgeons cracking open her girlfriends chest to operate on her heart, _my heart_. Sian's heart belonged to Sophie, no one else; it had taken up refuge in the brunettes and was tied to it intricately, _permanently._

She could hear the steady beat of Sophie's heart as its rhythm traced across the monitor over her bed and Sian lifted her free hand to her own chest, felt her own pulse beating in time.

Sian glanced around at the other faces in the room, each one drawn to the girl before them, no one speaking, each one, lost in their own thoughts, their own memories.

Rosie looked up from Sophie's form, catching Sian's eye as the blonde looked at her. Through the midst of her own tears, Rosie saw the younger girls fall silently down her cheek and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Sian tried to smile in acknowledgement but found herself unable, her grief overwhelming her volitional control of her body.

She turned back to her girlfriend, pulling up a nearby chair and seating herself alongside the bed. She caressed the back of Sophie's hand gently with her own before leaning over the bed rail to kiss her tenderly on the cheek. When she sat back, she leant the elbow of her free hand onto the bed rail, rested her head carefully into the palm of her hand whilst her eyes remained firmly fixed on Sophie. She squeezed her girlfriends hand slightly, not delusional enough to expect a response, but hoping for one nevertheless.

"Sophie," she said quietly, the first to speak and break the monotony of the beeping monitors. "It's Sian…"

She paused for a moment before continuing, her voice barely audible amongst the noise from the ventilator. "What have you done to yourself, hey?"

Sian paused for a moment to wipe at her eyes before continuing, too caught up in the moment to feel self-conscious of the four other people in the room, who were now watching her.

"If you wanted to get my attention babe," Sian continued. "You've got it ok? I'm here now…I'm not going anywhere. I promised remember? Forever."

Sian wiped at her eyes once again.

"I love you," she said sadly, leaning over to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek once more.


	9. Chapter 9

Sian's declaration of love was met with only a few words of reassurance from Rosie before the room had once again fallen into quiet contemplation.

For the longest time, the Webster's sat beside Sophie's bed, Sally and Kevin on one side, Sian, Rosie and Jason on the opposite. No words had passed between the group whilst they sat in vigil, the only sound infiltrating the oppressive silence being the steady rhythm of Sophie's heartbeat as it traced along the monitor above her bed and the repetitive rush of air from the ventilator as it filled the brunette's lungs, sustaining her life.

"She looks so small," Sally had finally voiced from her position on Sophie's left hand side, her mind and body finally beginning to recover from the initial shock of seeing her daughter's motionless form before her.

Her hand was wrapped protectively around Sophie's as it lay flaccidly by her side, an oxygen saturation probe covering her index finger as it recorded its measurements.

"Don't you think she looks small?" Sally asked turning to look at her eldest daughter who was sitting across the opposite side of the bed perched in Jason's lap, his arms surrounding her in a comforting embrace. "I always thought she was quite tall…" she mused turning her attention back to Sophie, her heart skipping slightly in shock at her daughter's appearance. It seemed that no matter how long Sally spent watching over Sophie's bruised and battered body, a part of her was still deeply in denial about what had happened to her youngest child. It was as though, every time she glanced away from her, Sally forgot about the accident, forgot about the severity of the situation, and forgot that her daughter was in a critical condition, fighting for her life. As a result, she had to endure the alarm of seeing Sophie in her present state, over and over again, her heart breaking just that little bit more each time.

It was instinct to protect your children, Sally thought to herself. From the first moment she'd laid her eyes on both Rosie and Sophie, all she'd wanted to do is look after them, shelter them from the cruelties of the world. They were her whole life from the second that they were born and they would remain that until that she died. They were the whole reason for her existence. They had brought a meaning to her life that she'd never known she'd been missing before they came into it, a love that was more special than anything else she'd ever known, unconditional and unwavering.

Sally didn't always agree with their decisions, with the way in which they chose to live their lives but she would always be there for them, hoped that they felt that they could always come to her when they needed help or comfort, because, even if she didn't support their choices, or she struggled to understand their differences, they would _always _be her daughters, _always_. There was nothing that they could do to change that, _nothing. _

She would do anything for them, absolutely _anything_. If the time ever came where she had to make a choice between her life and their own, she wouldn't even hesitate in her decision. She would save them every time, with no regrets, no doubts.

Sally glanced over Sophie's unconscious form, her thumb caressing the back of her daughters hand reflexively. If she could, she would gladly switch places with her youngest child. If it meant that Sophie was safe, was healthy and happy, she would do it in an instant. In fact, Sally thought she might actually prefer it, to be lying where Sophie was now, to be unaware of the torment and grief around her, to feel no guilt, no responsibility, just the silent bliss of ignorance as she slept.

Instead, she was left to wait and watch with the others, to reflect on her behaviour over the last few months, to realise that she was partly, if not completely to blame for Sophie being in the predicament that she was. Although she hated to admit it, Kevin was right about one thing. It wasn't like Sophie to skip college. She'd always been the more academic out of her daughters, the more conscientious. She actually enjoyed her education, enjoyed learning and the discipline that came with it. She'd gotten excellent grades in here GCSE's, had always had an exemplary attendance record. Sophie had even managed to catch up after missing a month when she'd run away with Sian. It was only after the tram crash, after Kevin's affair and the paternity of baby Jack had been discovered that she'd started to truant. All the fighting and arguments that had followed, they'd been the catalyst to her missing lectures. It was all so obvious in hindsight Sally thought. How could she have been so blind as to miss it before? How had she not fit the pieces together?

_Because I hadn't been looking, _came the realisation hitting her like a freight train.

She'd been so wrapped up in her own resentments, her own anger that she hadn't thought what effect they divorce would have on Sophie. She'd been so preoccupied with hurting Kevin, with sabotaging his plans to sell the house and flaunting her new relationship in front of him that she'd lost sight of what was important, _her girls._

She'd thought that, with Sophie being sixteen, the divorce wouldn't matter to her, that she was old enough to understand that it wasn't about her, that she was still loved and appreciated. However, she could see now why Sophie might have had doubts, that being caught up in the middle, being forced to constantly take sides whilst she was trying to remain neutral would be difficult, no _impossible._ She loved both herself and Kevin. She had always been more dependent on them then Rosie had. Sally didn't think that Rosie didn't care; because Sally knew that she did. It's just that her eldest daughter was more independent, more self-reliant and rebellious then Sophie had ever been. Sophie was a sensitive soul; she was kind and thoughtful, even before she found her faith. Sally should have known that the divorce would be difficult enough for her to deal with even without all the extra animosity and back biting.

She tried to think what she would have done differently in regards to Sophie's troubles at college had her and Kevin still been together. There's no way she would have let her daughter get so behind in her work that she'd dropped out, or rather, been kicked out. She had stepped in before it had gotten that far, sat Sophie down at the kitchen table with Kevin and talked to her about her problems. She'd have made time for her daughter to be able to explain her difficulties, gone with her to see the principal and discuss the options, extra tutoring after school for example. She'd had done everything in her power to ensure that Sophie continued to attend, only allowing her to drop out if that was really what she wanted, as long as they had talked about her plans for the future, what she wanted to do instead. The likelihood was however, that had Kevin and herself not split up, had they not been hell bent on destroying each other, Sophie would never have skipped college in the first place.

"She's our little girl," Kevin said, pulling Sally out of her self-deprecating thoughts. "That'll never change, no matter how old or how tall she gets."

He placed a comforting hand on Sally's shoulder and she found, to her surprise, that she did not have the urge to move out from under it.

"She looks so delicate," Sally commented, "so fragile and I'm worried that if I touch her too firmly or in the wrong place, that it'll hurt her further."

"You won't," Kevin reassured her. "She's strong is our Sophie. There are few people that would have gone through what she has and lived to tell the tale Sal. You'll see," he continued squeezing her shoulder comfortingly. "She'll be alright."

"It's just hard for me to imagine her ever being ok again after this," Sally confessed worriedly. "I mean, look at the state of her Kevin. Look at our beautiful little girl. Her face and her head…."

"Will heal," Kevin assured her as he caressed the side of his daughters face with his free hand. "Her hair will grow back," he said as he gently moved a stray lock out of the way of her left eye. "She'll recover, Sal."

"How do you know that?" Sally asked. "You don't know that…"

"I do," Sian answered catching Sally's eyes a small smile on her face.

"Sian…" Sally began unconvinced. "We have to be realistic…."

"I am," Sian replied, her tone kind. "I know Sophie. She's strong….she fights for the things that she cares about, for the _people_ that she cares about. I should know that. She fought so hard for us in the beginning"

Sian paused for a moment to look upon the face of her girlfriend before continuing.

"She fought for you too, you know?" she continued. "She loves you all so much and it's been killing her these last few months….all the fighting and separation. She just wanted to be with you, for you all to be a family."

She looked back up at Sally who was watching the blonde with a surprised expression on her face.

"I know your daughter," Sian reiterated, "and I know she'll be ok because she has to be, because she wouldn't want to leave you all while things are like this between you. She'd want to make sure that you're all alright. That you'd look out for each other even if you didn't necessarily love each other anymore, because that's who she is. That's what I love about her."

"I agree with Sian," Rosie said smiling at the blonde. "We just have to have faith. If anyone can come back from this it's Sophie. I mean she's a complete pain in the neck sometimes, most of the time actually but, well, she's Sophie. As long as we're all here for her, she'll be alright."

"We will be," Kevin said looking pointedly at Sally before adding, "I'm sorry Sal, I know I've said it before but I'm hoping that maybe we can put our differences aside, for Sophie's sake. I'm not asking you to forgive me, I don't want you to, but, I want to be here for my daughter…"

Kevin glanced over at Rosie and added, "For both my daughters."

Sally looked towards Rosie for a moment before turning her attention back to Sophie, who remained still, completely oblivious to anything that was happening around her. She'd let her down before; put her feelings first at the expense of her daughters, but, no more. From now on, Sophie and Rosie were her priorities and what they both needed right now was their father. Despite whatever might have happened between Kevin and herself, he was still their dad and he was entitled to be a part of their lives.

"Ok, for the girls," she agreed, not removing her eyes from Sophie.

She turned to look at Kevin adding, "This doesn't change anything between us though Kevin, it doesn't change what you did."

"I know," Kevin acknowledged.

Sally turned back towards her daughter, standing slightly from her chair to lean closer over the bed. Carefully she's stroked Sophie's forehead with the back of her hand before leaning over to kiss her gently on the temple.

"You hear that Soph," she whispered into her daughters ear, her head inches from the brunettes. "Me and your dad, we're going to stop arguing."

She paused for a moment to rest her own forehead gently against the left side of Sophie's and caught the scent of her daughter's shampoo.

"I'm so sorry," Sally apologised regretfully. "I should have said it sooner, but I'm saying it now. Me and your dad, we love you so much…do you hear me? We love you my beautiful girl, everything about you…so…you have to get better, because you mean the world to us…and…we need you here…ok? I _need_ you here."

She kissed her daughter gently on the temple once more as a gentle knock came at the door.

Sally lifted her head to look in the direction of the noise just as the door to Sophie's room began to open, revealing a tall police officer standing behind it, a solemn expression on his face.


	10. Chapter 10

"Mr and Mrs Webster?" The constable asked removing his hat and tucking it under his arm as he stepped further into the room.

"Yes," Sally said, releasing Sophie's hand from her grasp and turning to face the policeman properly.

"I'm P.C. Venables," the man introduced himself, stretching out a hand in Sally's direction as he neared the end of Sophie's bed.

Sally shook it reticently, throwing a puzzled look in Kevin's direction as he too rose from his seat.

"I was wondering if I might talk to you regarding your daughters' accident?" the Policeman asked, now offering his hand to Kevin in greeting.

"Of course," Kevin replied, shaking his hand firmly.

Constable Venables glanced around the rest of the faces in the room hesitantly.

"Perhaps we should talk somewhere more private?" he suggested, turning his attention back towards Sally. "There's a relative's room just outside that we could use."

"Why?" Kevin asked confused. "What's going on?"

"We've been given some information regarding the accident which I think might be best to discuss with you alone." P.C. Venables explained.

"What sort of information?" Rosie asked interestedly.

The policeman remained silent, his eyes searching Kevin and Sally's for a cue as to what he should do.

"Whatever it is that you've got to say," Sian said, her hand still wrapped tightly around her girlfriends. "You can say it here."

"Mr and Mrs Webster?" The constable questioned, waiting for their agreement.

"Go ahead," Kevin said after a moment of contemplation. "We'll only tell them later."

"Of course," P.C. Venables said in response. "Please," he prompted, gesturing Sally and Kevin back into their seats.

Sally and Kevin did as instructed whilst the policeman glanced briefly over the Sophie where she slept, his eyes taking in her injuries, a sad expression on his face.

"I'm sorry to disturb you during this difficult time," the constable apologised as though only just realising where they were, "but I spoke to Sophie's Pastor earlier this evening regarding the events leading up to the accident and needed to clarify a few things for our investigation."

"Did he tell you what happened?" Kevin asked, his hand subconsciously stroking the side of Sophie's cheek. "Was he there when…well, when she fell?"

"According to his statement," P.C. Venables explained. "Pastor Evans was on the roof with Sophie at the time."

The policeman paused for a moment to let this information sink in before continuing.

"He informs us that Sophie arrived at the church this evening inebriated," the constable went on. "He said that she seemed very distressed when he spoke to her."

He paused once more, trying to search for the most tactful way of asking his next question.

"Was Sophie having any problems at school or home recently which could account for her demeanour?" he questioned the group.

Sian turned her attention back to her girlfriend, thinking that it'd probably be easier to list the things that weren't troubling Sophie, instead of those that were.

Sally and Kevin shared a meaningful look.

"Actually," he began in explanation. "Things haven't exactly been easy for her these last couple of months."

Kevin looked towards Sally once more, silently asking for her approval to continue.

"You see, me and Sally," he carried on, gesturing to the older woman beside him with his free hand. "We're currently in the process of getting a divorce…"

"I see," the constable said reading between the lines.

"Well…it hasn't exactly been easy for her," Sally said. "Our marriage… it didn't end on the best of terms. There's been a lot of animosity between us you see, a lot of fighting…"

"She's been kind of caught up in the middle of it all," Kevin interjected. "I guess we didn't really know how much it had been affecting her."

"Sophie was kicked out of college last month for truanting," Sally added. "She's always been very academic…but…I think with everything that was going on at home, she was finding it difficult to concentrate."

"She'd never truanted before?" the constable asked.

"Not that I'm aware of?" Sally said uncertainly. "Before me and her dad separated she was always a model student. She never mentioned any problems…"

Sally turned to Sian who was watching the interaction from her position across the bed.

"Sian?" Sally asked the younger girl. "Did she ever mention anything to you?"

"No nothing," Sian admitted, "after Molly's funeral….well, she just kind of lost interest in college."

"Was Molly a friend of Sophie's?" P.C. Venables asked, pulling out his jotter and making a note of some of the information that he'd learnt throughout the course of their conversation.

"No," Sally said definitively, throwing a cutting look towards Kevin. "Just a neighbour of ours, that's all."

"She died in an accident just before Christmas," Kevin explained, ignoring the scathing look Sally was giving him for opening up the line of questioning further. "A tram crashed into the street where we live after an explosion….it was a pretty traumatic time for everyone involved."

"Was Sophie injured during this time?" the constable questioned.

"No," Sally answered, "but it was shortly afterwards that myself and Kevin separated."

"After you and your husband split," the man started, addressing Sally, "did you ever have any concerns about your daughter drinking?"

"What?" Sally asked taken aback by the question. "Why would I have any concerns? I mean, she's a teenager, but she's not really ever been that interested in alcohol before…ok…yes, there's been a few occasions when she's had a drink but…she's not a _drunk_."

"I didn't mean to offend you," the constable apologised. "It's just a line of enquiry that we need to follow up on because she'd been drinking tonight. We wanted to clarify whether it was normal for your daughter or whether something else triggered her behaviour tonight."

"Actually," Sian began nervously. "Sophie's been acting kind of weird when it comes to drinking recently."

"What do you mean?" Sally asked.

"I don't know really," Sian said, "it's probably nothing but I remember on New Year's Day…we'd been into town shopping and she'd managed to buy a bottle of cider. She asked me if I wanted some and I asked her what was going on with her. She kind of shrugged the question off and put it away but, it wasn't like her."

"In what way?" P.C. Venables asked.

"You know," Sian explained, "wanting a drink for no real reason…I've only ever seen her drink on special occasions before, you know, like her birthday and New Years' Eve."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sally asked a hint of anger in her voice. "Didn't you think it was important?"

"Not really," Sian replied. "Besides, you and Sophie had that fight not long afterwards and we went to stay at Eileen's. I'd forgotten about it until now."

"What did you fight about?" The policeman asked Sally.

"It was nothing really," Sally responded brushing the question aside. "Just a silly fight, that's all."

"Then you won't mind telling me what it was about," the constable pressed further.

"Well," Sally started embarrassment flooding her features. "You see…."

"Sophie's a lesbian," Rosie finished for her mum frustrated at the older women's difficulty in speaking up.

Rosie turned and gestured to Sian who was looking at the floor, Sally's reluctance to voice the truth about Sophie's sexuality wounding the blonde. Sian realised in that moment that, despite her words to the contrary, Sally was still uncomfortable about her relationship with Sophie.

"Sian is her girlfriend," Rosie continued, causing the younger girl to look up at the policeman. "Mum, sort of, walked in on them."

"You know what teenagers are like," Sally said uncomfortably.

"I do," P.C. Venables responded. "I have two teenagers at home."

He glanced at Sian when he asked his next question.

"What happened afterwards?" he asked her kindly.

"Well," Sian said, looking uncomfortably at Sally. "Sophie and her mum started arguing…"

"I told her that she was too young to…well, you know," Sally trailed off.

"Why did they go and stay at…" the constable searched through his jotter for the name Sian had mentioned earlier. "Eileen's, is it?"

"I don't know," Sally said sighing. "I think that we just needed some space from each other. Things got pretty heated…"

"You just said the fight was about nothing?" P.C. Venables asked.

"Well it was really," Sally replied.

"However, the girls didn't feel like they could come back to the house," he noted before turning to Sian. "Why was that?"

Sian threw a look at Sally before reluctantly answering, "Well, Sally kicked us out."

"Sian…." Sally protested. "It wasn't like that…"

"Yeah it was," Sian disagreed. "You told us to 'get out' after Sophie had bought up Kevin and Molly."

Sian turned to the policeman wanting to justify her girlfriends' actions, not realising that he didn't know all the details surrounding the Webster's separation.

"She only said it because she was mad though," Sian explained.

"What was she mad about?" The policeman questioned.

"Well, because Sally had said it was worse, you know, because she'd caught her with another woman." Sian answered.

"Mum!" Rosie said in surprise. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Sally said trying to defend herself.

Sian turned back to look at her girlfriend. She rubbed the back of Sophie's hand gently with her thumb, uncomfortable discussing her problems, her past without being able to include her. It wasn't right to be talking about her, here, like this. It made Sian regret her desire to be present. She wished that she'd not said anything, instead letting Sally and Kevin talk to the constable alone.

"How else could it have been taken?" Rosie asked shocked. "Mum, they're in love…"

"Well, I don't see what this has got to do with anything, anyway," Sally debated interrupting her daughter. "It's got no bearing on what happened tonight, it's all in the past. We've moved on from that now…."

She paused for a moment before addressing P.C. Venables directly.

"Why do you want to know so much about it anyway?" she questioned him.

"We're trying to establish what Sophie's state of mind may have been tonight," he admitted. "What might have led her to turn up at the church?"

He paused momentarily before continuing.

"Why?" Kevin asked.

"The Pastor says that she hadn't been there for months before tonight," he informed them. "We're just finding it difficult to understand why she'd suddenly return there after all this time. Trying to ascertain what it was that had caused her to return to a church which, the Pastor admitted, 'had been less than welcoming when Sophie's sexuality became known to them."

Sian scoffed slightly at the policeman's remark.

"That's one way to put it," she muttered under her breath.

"What are you trying to suggest?" Kevin asked, finally fitting all the pieces together. "Are you saying Sophie did this to herself? That it wasn't an accident?"

"According to her Pastor, he followed Sophie up onto the roof after a confrontation that she'd had with the choir during their rehearsal." the policeman informed them. "He said that she was upset, that she appeared _distraught_ and he'd found her standing on the ledge of the church roof."

"You're saying Sophie jumped?" Rosie asked in disbelief.

"She wouldn't do that…" Sian said quietly, sadly.

"The Pastor told us that he tried to talk her down but she wouldn't listen to him," the policeman elaborated. "He tried to grab her, but by the time he'd reached her it was too late."

P.C. Venables glanced around the room before admitting, "He said that everything happened quickly and he couldn't be sure whether she'd slipped or jumped. However, from what you've been saying, it seems as though your daughter has been through a lot in recent months…"

He left the insinuation hanging in the air between them all, and Sian watched over the faces of Sophie's family, reading their expressions, their questioning doubts about the girl that they knew, that they _loved._ They believed him, Sally and Kevin. Sian could see it in their eyes, in their shock. Only Rosie seemed to doubt his words, couldn't bring herself to find truth in them.

Sian looked back at her girlfriend and felt the sudden urge to climb into the bed beside her, to hug Sophie's body close to hers, to protect her from the accusations being cast her way. Sian would admit that Sophie had been depressed, that she'd been struggling, lost even, but, she wouldn't believe that she'd intended to do this to herself, she _couldn't'._ Sophie was a lot of things, but she wasn't selfish. She wouldn't put her family through something like this _intentionally_, she wasn't _cruel_.

The fact that her parents seemed to think that she could of done just proved what Sophie had been thinking the last few months, _they really didn't know her at all._


	11. Chapter 11

Following that first night, things fell into a predictable routine for Sian. Not long after the constable had been and informed them that the police suspected Sophie of jumping from the roof of the church, of trying to _commit suicide_, Sally and Kevin had reneged on their promise to remain civil to one another, instead resorting, once again, to laying blame firmly and unreservedly, at each other's feet. The arguments were tedious and repetitive, Sally accusing Kevin of destroying their family with his infidelities, with his _lies_ and _selfishness._ She put most stock in the dispute over the sale of their family home, referring to it as _the rod that broke the camel's back. _In her mind, Sophie's supposed actions were entirely his fault and she'd _be damned_ if she would ever let him near her daughter again. Kevin, however, disagreed, citing Sally's obvious discontentment with Sophie's sexuality and her pre-occupation with Rosie and new boyfriend Jeff, as the main catalyst for his daughter's moment of despair.

It didn't matter how much Rosie tried to mediate between her parents, they were fixated on condemning each other's actions, as long as, in doing so, they excused their own. They were happy to call a truce, a temporary cease fire whilst they had thought Sophie's fall had been an accident, but, to know that something had driven her to the roof, had made her feel so helpless and alone that the only choice she'd seen was death…they couldn't abide that. Both of them felt that someone was responsible for the predicament they found themselves in, that someone was accountable for Sophie's actions, and they were adamant that it wasn't them.

As the days passed and Sophie remained ventilated and unresponsive, Sally and Kevin's clashes became more frequent. Instead of the off-handed snide remarks that Sian and Rosie had become accustomed to, they began to actively seek a confrontation with one another, provocation and retaliation becoming almost second nature, so much so, that, finally, the nurse in charge of Sophie's care had needed to prevent them from visiting their daughter at the same time.

Sian and Rosie felt trapped between the feuding adults as the days turned into a week, and Sophie's condition remained stagnant. Neither of the girls felt comfortable whilst in the presence of Sally or Kevin, both expecting, and receiving, an angry tirade from one against the other, whenever they visited Sophie's bedside and were reminded of her injuries, of her continued fight for life.

For their part, Sian and Rosie had remained united, both spending every day since the accident sitting opposite each other at Sophie's bedside, Sian caressing the back of her girlfriends hand tenderly with her thumb whilst Rosie shared her memories of Sophie from their childhood with the blonde.

Sian had even taken up residence at Eileen's house, spending her nights wrapped up in a duvet on the sofa bed that she and Sophie had shared after their fight with Sally at New Year. Since Sophie's admission to the hospital, Sian had started to find it increasingly difficult living at the Webster's house. It was as though, with her girlfriend in the intensive care unit, her presence in the house was no longer justified, that, without Sophie there, Sian was no longer a welcome guest. After she'd voiced her opinions to Rosie one day whilst keeping vigil at the hospital, the older girl hadn't hesitated in offering her refuge at the Grimshaw's and she'd remained there ever since.

Rosie was so disappointed with her parents' behaviour, both, towards each other and Sian that she'd barely spoken to either of them since that first night that they'd spent together at the hospital. Since then, she'd only offer the pair of them a kind greeting in passing when their paths crossed in the street. The times that Sally or Kevin had joined the girls whilst they held vigil at Sophie's bedside, the conversation had been limited, concerning only mundane comments regarding the weather or other such trivial things.

The girls had become almost inseparable now that they were also living together again. Each morning the two of them would make the trip to the hospital with Jason in his van before he went in to work. They'd sit for hours in Sophie's room, talking to her unconscious form about everything and anything they could think of in the hope that it would help to rouse her from what appeared to be an impenetrable sleep. After work, Jason would arrive and join the two of them, a tower of strength for Rosie in the absence of her father's support. Shortly after eight o'clock every night, Jason would take the girls home with him to recuperate in preparation for repeating the disheartening process the following day. Sally and Kevin would make sporadic appearances at the hospital around each other's visits, each staying for a few hours at a time before being replaced with the other in their absence.

Time had passed slowly for Sian as she wasted the days away watching over her girlfriend, her thoughts turning into silent prayers whenever she'd returned to her bedside to find that she remained, very much, in the same state that she'd been the day before, no sign of improvement or progress to be seen. After the fifth day on the intensive care unit, when the swelling within Sophie's skull was resolving and she was starting to trigger her own spontaneous breaths in conjunction with the ventilator, the doctors began weaning the brunette's sedation, hoping that, by doing so, she would awaken from the artificial coma they had enforced on her. _She hadn't._

A further three days passed and Sophie's sedation was stopped completely, allowing her respiratory drive to improve so that it no longer required the full support of the ventilators. However, due to her persistent coma, Dr Trevelyan was unable to extubate Sophie because of the risk to her from hospital acquired pneumonia associated with prolonged bed rest and immobility. As a result, Sophie's endotracheal tube was replaced with a tracheostomy in order to help maintain her airway and aid secretion clearance from her chest, whilst continuing to wean down the ventilator support that she needed to breathe.

On the twelfth day after Sophie had been admitted to the hospital following her accident, Sian was beginning to lose faith. Her girlfriends oxygen requirements had been reduced to the bare minimal, her tracheostomy remaining in place solely to protect her airway from collapse during her current chest infection. Sophie was no longer sedated, her most recent head CT showed that the bleed had completely resolved and all the resultant swelling had subsided. Her body was beginning to heal, the fracture sites in her arms, legs and ribs starting to unite to allow new bone formation. Her chest tube had been removed and the wound closed. Dr Trevelyan remained pleased with Sophie's progress, reassuring Sian that her girlfriend was recovering well, despite her continued coma.

Sian tried to remain optimistic, to listen to his words and appreciate the things he saw which correlated with an improvement in Sophie's condition, but no matter what he said, how much he explained, she just couldn't see it. To Sian, there was only one thing which she considered to be progress and that was Sophie waking up. Until the moment when Sophie opened her bright blue eyes, that recognition flashed across her beautiful face as they met with Sian's, the blonde would not be able to relax, to allow herself to sigh with relief that they seemed to have made it through the worst, and that Sophie would be alright. Until Sophie smiled, until she laughed and spoke, Sian wouldn't get her hopes up, she _couldn't_. To have to face the reality of the situation, the very real prospect that Sophie could have sustained irreparable brain damage, would be too much for Sian to bear if she'd allowed herself to expect too much.

It had been fifteen days since Sophie's accident and Sian had once again made the journey into hospital to be with her girlfriend. For the first time since Sophie's admission, Sian was unaccompanied by Rosie, who had managed to secure a modelling job with a new agent and desperate for some money to help pay Eileen for allowing them to stay at her house, could not afford to turn it down. Under the current circumstances, Eileen hadn't approached Rosie for anything, had been happy for the raven haired girl to pay her when Sophie was back on her feet. For once in her life though, Rosie did not feel right in taking the older woman's generosity for granted. Especially now, when Eileen had done so much for herself and Sian, provided comfort and stability in their lives when Sally and Kevin had returned to their petty arguments in the wake of Sophie's accident.

Sian walked onto the intensive care unit, greeting some of the nurses that she'd come to know as she entered. She pushed the door to Sophie's room open slowly and was greeted by Denise, the nurse who'd been in charge of her girlfriends care on that first night.

"Morning Sian," Denise welcomed the blonde as she entered into the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

"Morning," Sian reciprocated placing the bag she'd been carrying over her shoulder onto the floor beside Sophie's bed. "How are you?"

"I'm fine thanks," Denise replied smiling brightly. "How about you?"

"I'm ok," Sian said pulling a chair over from the edge of the room and placing it beside Sophie's bed in its usual place. "How is she today?" Sian asked the nurse, dropping down into the seat and reaching over the bed rail to take Sophie's hand in her own.

She caressed the back of it gently with her thumb, the gesture coming more out of habit than anything else. Denise finished documenting Sophie's latest observations on her chart before walking over to stand beside Sian, just as the blonde reached out and began to play blithely with Sophie's hair, winding a few of the long strands that remained around her index finger.

"She's doing well," Denise informed Sian, placing a reassuring hand on the younger girls shoulder and causing her to meet the nurses kind eyes. "We've managed to cap off her tracheostomy tube this morning and she's maintaining her oxygen saturations well, so," Denise paused for a moment to look over her patient, "hopefully we'll be able to take it out completely in the next couple of days."

"I thought the doctors wanted to keep it in until she wakes up?" Sian asked worriedly, meeting Denise's eyes once again as she returned her attention to the blonde.

"They did a repeat chest x-ray this morning," Denise explained, "everything looks great. The antibiotics did what we'd intended. Her chest infection seems to have completely resolved."

"What if she gets another one?" Sian pursued, still anxious at the thought of Sophie being left to support herself completely whilst she remained unconscious. For so long, the brunette had been dependent on the various machines which littered her room, that the thought of her having nothing scared Sian.

"Then we'll treat it," Denise replied simply. "There are other things that we can do to help clear her chest without the tracheostomy tube if it's needed."

The nurse smiled at Sian encouragingly.

"Trust me," she continued, "this is a good thing. We wouldn't do it unless we thought she was ready."

Sian looked at the face of her girlfriend uncertainly. The lacerations and bruising were continuing to heal well. Sophie's right eye, which had been swollen shut on her admission, had now returned to its normal size, with only a slight purple bruising on the eyelid remaining. The dressing which had covered Sophie's craniotomy site had been removed a few days ago and from where she was sitting, Sian could see the ridged scar as it protruded from amongst short tufts of her girlfriend's hair where it was beginning to grow.

"Ok," Sian said, turning her attention back to the nurse. "I trust you."

Denise smiled at Sian momentarily before returning to Sophie's chart and jotting down something on it in her biro pen.

"You know you just missed her dad," Denise said absent mindedly as she moved to change one of Sophie's drug infusions. "I think he was dropping by on his way to work."

"Hmm…" Sian replied distractedly.

Denise turned away from the machine she'd been tampering with to look at Sian, who was continuing to play with Sophie's hair, her eyes fixed on the face of her girlfriend as she leant her chin on the bed rail before her.

"Yeah," Denise said taking a step closer to the blonde girl. "He said that he's held up the sale of the house until he knows what's happening with Sophie."

The nurse paused for a moment, waiting for Sian's response to the news, but continued when none was forthcoming.

"He talked to Dr Trevelyan," Denise carried on, "and decided that he wanted her to be able to go back to somewhere that was familiar to her once she was released from here."

Still Sian said nothing and Denise frowned a little in concern.

"Sian?" she questioned quietly, approaching the blonde. "Did you hear that?"

"Yeah," Sian said lifting her gaze slightly to look at the nurse.

"I thought that maybe you'd have had a little more to say about it than that," Denise replied surprised.

"I'll believe it when I see it," Sian explained simply. "So far Sophie's parents have managed to go back on everything that they've said…"

Sian glanced back at Sophie before continuing.

"I mean, they can't even be in the same room as each other for longer than five minutes without trying to rip each other's throats out." Sian said sadly. "They're not even able to be civil to one another for Sophie's sake."

"Does that worry you?" Denise asked, leaning against Sophie's bed rest in front of the girl.

"A little," Sian admitted. "I mean, if they're so adamant that Sophie tried to kill herself because of the divorce, because of everything that came with it, than you'd think they'd want to put on a united front, so that she wouldn't want to do it again."

"I thought you didn't believe that she jumped?" Denise questioned.

"I don't," Sian said defensively, "but they do and…."

Sian was stopped mid-sentence by the sound of a gentle knock at the door to Sophie's room.

"Come in," Denise called, stepping away from the bed and where Sian was sat. She began to make her way to the door as another nurse appeared from behind it.

"Sorry to interrupt," the other nurse apologised, noticing Sian's presence. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm going on break now."

"Ok," Denise acknowledged. "I'll keep an eye on bed six whilst you're gone."

"Thanks," the other nurse said gratefully. "I'll let you know when I'm back so you can go for yours."

"No problem," Denise said turning her attention back to Sian who was once again watching her girlfriend closely. She heard the door close behind the other nurse as she left and sighed to herself, returning to her position beside the blonde. "What were you saying?" she prompted Sian, crossing her legs as she leant up against the bed rail once more.

"It doesn't matter," Sian replied, shaking her head slightly and closing off any further conversation.

"Sure it does," Denise encouraged the youngster.

"No really," Sian said glancing up at the nurse. "I don't really want to talk about it anyway."

"Are you sure?" The nurse asked, "You never know, it might help to get it off your chest."

"It's ok really," Sian responded. "I can always talk to Rosie about it later."

"Where is your partner in crime today?" Denise asked laughing. "It's unusual for you to be here alone."

"She's working," Sian explained. "I promised that I'd call her if there was any change."

Denise caught the glimpse of someone beckoning her through the window, indicated that she was needed with the other patient whose care she was overlooking.

"Will you excuse me for a minute?" Denise asked apologetically. "I won't be long."

Sian glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the nurse's gaze and saw that she was being summoned.

"Sure," she said as Denise started making her way towards the door and disappeared through it out of sight. "I guess it's just me and you now babes," she mused, turning her attention back to Sophie and realising that, in the fifteen days since her admission to hospital, this is the first time they'd been alone together.

Sian stroked the side of Sophie's face gently with her hand as she shifted her chair closer to the bed.

"So I bumped into Sunita the other day," Sian told Sophie, stroking a strand of brunette hair out from her girlfriends eyes. "She told me to let you know that she's thinking about you." Sian separated herself from Sophie for a moment to rummage through the bag at her feet. Pulling out the white envelope she was looking for, she sat back up again, placing it beside Sophie in the bed before continuing to stroke the other girl's hair once more. "She asked me to give you this," Sian continued, touching the envelope slightly with her free hand before wrapping it protectively around Sophie's. "I'd open it for you but…it just doesn't feel right. I know it's only a get well soon card but, it's addressed to you."

Sian paused for a moment to think.

"Maybe I can open it for you once you're awake," Sian said simply. "Or I can ask Rosie to do it when she comes in later….you know what she's like, she won't have any problem opening it for you."

Sian rested her chin against the bed rail and sighed, twisting Sophie's index finger between her own digits.

"Sunita said that she'd come in and see you once you're a bit better," Sian informed her girlfriend. "She's not allowed to at the moment though. The nurses are really strict about it only being close family whilst you're on here. Once you're on a ward I bet you'll have loads of people coming to see you…Chesney's already tried to talk himself in once already so, he'll be lining up with the rest of them."

Sian shifted her position slightly in the chair to get more comfortable.

"Rosie sends her love," Sian said, "she really wanted to be here, but, she had to go on a shoot….she's been really great through all this Sophie," Sian contemplated, "and I think maybe you don't give her enough credit sometimes."

Sian laughed to herself slightly.

"I mean, I know she's a dozy mare…with…extremely questionable fashion sense, but, she's got a good heart," Sian said amused. "I'm really grateful to her actually and I know you will be too when you hear what she's done for me."

Sian paused momentarily to collect her thoughts.

"Listen," she said, her voice taking on a serious tone. "Your parents think that you tried to kill yourself on purpose Soph." Sian felt her eyes sting with the impending presence of tears and took a minute to get her composure. "They're blaming each other, you know, all the same old arguments as before."

Sian squeezed Sophie's hand gently in her own.

"They're both here for you," Sian reassured her. "It's just, they're not really in a place where they can be in the same room as each other right now….maybe when you're awake things will change though. I know that they'd both be here in an instant if you were. They're both frantic with worry and I think they're taking it out on each other."

Sian wiped at a tear which had slid stealthily down her cheek before caressing the side of Sophie's face with her hand.

"I really miss talking to you Sophie," Sian admitted. "Rosie is great and all, but, she's not you. I miss stupid things like…" she thought for a moment before continuing. "Like the way you scrunch your face up when you're frustrated about something, or, how you laugh at things that I don't understand, but, I'll laugh too because yours is so infectious….I miss that laugh so much Sophie."

Sian sighed once more.

"I can't help but think that this is my fault," Sian admitted. "I thought that I was doing the right thing by going away, both for me and for you. I thought you'd have the time you'd need to sort things out with your parents, to concentrate on your school work…." Sian paused to wipe at her eyes, the tears flowing freely now. "I'd never have gone if I'd known this would happen, if I thought that…" Sian sniffed back a sob, "That I'd never get to speak to you again, or hold you like before. I was miserable on holiday Sophie," Sian continued. "My mum spent most of her time with Youssef…they'd take me out to dinner with them, but, I'd always feel like a third wheel. I made friends with this girl, Chloe…she was nice, you know? I think you'd like her…we used to hang around during the day, saved me from sitting around the villa on my own whilst my mum and Youssef went out."

Sian squeezed Sophie's hand again, a sob escaping her mouth.

"She was hung up on this boy back home," Sian went on, " she used to call him every night, just like I'd call you. It wasn't the same though, was it? You were right…every night I'd see my mum and Youssef cuddling up outside on the terrace, or kissing over breakfast in the morning and all I could think about was you. Wonder what you were doing…if you missed me as much as I missed you."

Sian wiped at her eyes once again, the fog of tears clouding her vision, her view of Sophie.

"I can't lose you Sophie," Sian confessed stroking her girlfriend's hair lightly. "You know that right Soph?…I don't know what I'd do without you…and honestly, I don't want to know…"

Sian dropped her gaze to the floor, her mind once again filling with depressing thoughts of funerals and never-ending days of loneliness in Sophie's absence.

"Soph…" Sian began looking back up at her girlfriend and stopping instantly as her eyes met the clear blue of her girlfriend's. "Sophie?" Sian said standing up slightly from her chair and leaning over the bed rail, her heart fluttering in her chest despite her trepidation to believe what she was seeing.

"Sian…" Sophie's voice replied, hoarse and quiet from days of disuse, her throat tender from where it had been intubated and where the tracheostomy still remained.

Sian laughed despite her tears and kissed Sophie gently on the forehead, her lips lingering there for a moment before she pulled away to look at her girlfriend more closely. Sophie's eyes were fluttering closed, but she fought to stay awake. Sian brushed the side of her face gently with her hand, causing Sophie's eyes to close once more. The blonde squeezed her girlfriends hand gently before brushing the back of it lightly with her lips as she kissed it.

"I'm here babe," Sian said, her voice thick with emotion. "I'm right here."


	12. Chapter 12

Sophie's eyes fluttered open once more and Sian leant over the bed rail, yearning to close the distance between them further. Her left hand was still wrapped protectively around her Sophie's as she stroked the side of the brunette's face lightly with her right, brushing a stray strand of hair out of the clear blue eyes that had been absent from her life for the last fifteen days.

"Hey," Sian said her voice soft, a smile on her face, lighting own eyes brightly as it touched the corners of her mouth like none other had since the day of the accident.

"Hi," Sophie replied, attempting a warm smile in response but only managing a small grimace as she tried to lift her head from its position on the pillow.

Sian placed a hand on Sophie's shoulder briefly in concern as the brunette's eyes fluttered closed once again.

"Sophie?" Sian asked concerned, her eyes flashing towards the door to her girlfriends' room momentarily in search of Denise.

Sophie's eyes flickered for a moment before finally opening to meet Sian's uneasy look.

"Hmm…" Sophie managed, her eyelids becoming heavy and struggling against the drowsiness which was settling over her.

"I'm going to call the nurse, ok?" Sian stated, rather than asked, removing her right hand from where it had yet again settled at Sophie's temple, her thumb mindlessly stroking her girlfriend's brow. She reached for the call bell at the head of the bed and pressed the button firmly with her thumb, casting a quick eye in the direction of the door once more before returning it to Sophie.

"Ok," Sophie acknowledged, her eyes still closed, days of inactivity making them weak and incompliant.

"Soph listen…" Sian began, reaching up and caressing Sophie's cheek with the back of her hand. "You're…"

Sian was cut off by the sound of the door to Sophie's room opening and turned in its direction expectantly, her eyes meeting Denise's scrub clad form as she returned from checking on the patient outside.

"Well," Denise said a large smile spreading across her features as she looked over towards the bed and noticed Sophie's eyes watching her closely, the sound of the door opening causing her eyelids to separate in alarm. "Look who's finally awake."

Denise walked over to the bed, her eyes meeting Sian's as she approached, the door closing quietly behind her.

"She woke up a few minutes ago," Sian said in an anxious explanation as Denise reached past her to switch of the call bell that she'd engaged a moment ago.

Denise turned her attention back to Sophie whose eyes were closing slowly again and leant down over the bed slightly, her right hand squeezing firmly between the brunettes shoulder and neck to wake her.

Sophie's eyes darted open to look up at Denise who was hovering above her, a kind expression on her face.

"Hi Sophie," Denise greeted the youngster, her voice strong as she placed a hand solidly on the girls shoulder to keep her attention.

"Hi," Sophie managed; her voice no more than a whisper, her eyes blinking a little as she tried to maintain focus of the women before her.

"I'm Denise," the nurse introduced herself, a friendly smile on her face before adding, "Can you tell me your full name?"

"Sophie…Webster," she managed in response, her voice hoarse.

"Good," Denise encouraged, turning her head slightly to smile at Sian who was watching the interaction with avid interest, her hand still wrapped around her girlfriend's as it lay by her side in the bed. "Sophie…" Denise began sensitively, "Can you tell me where you are?"

Sophie glanced between Sian and the nurse, a look of confusion spreading across her face.

"I…" she started, pausing momentarily to think, "The…hospital?" She almost asked.

"That's right," Denise replied squeezing Sophie's shoulder slightly as the youngsters' eyes became heavy once more. Sophie opened them wide, her attention returning to the dark haired nurse before her. "You had an accident….do you remember what happened?"

Sophie looked towards Sian for help, apprehension appearing on her face as her memory failed her.

"Its' ok babe," Sian reassured Sophie, offering her girlfriend a reassuring smile as she squeezed her hand gently. "Just think for a minute….it'll come back to you."

Sophie turned her attention towards Denise who was waiting patiently in her position alongside the bed before glancing back at Sian.

"I…I can't remember," Sophie said honestly, her voice sad.

"It doesn't matter," Denise soothed the brunette gently as she pulled a pen light from her pocket and held it in her right hand. The nurse bent down closer to Sophie, putting herself directly in the youngster's line of vision. "Sophie can you see me alright here?" she asked.

"Yes," Sophie stuttered, her eyes fixed on Denise.

"You're not seeing two of me?" Denise questioned. "Things don't look hazy or blurry?"

"No," Sophie answered, the word separating slightly as her voice cracked.

The nurse turned on her pen light and lifted it in front of Sophie's eyes. "Can you look into the light for me?" Denise asked flicking the light across Sophie's pupils quickly and looking for a reaction.

"Thank you," Denise said gratefully as she turned off the pen light and returned it to the pocket which she'd taken it from. "That looks fine."

Sophie's eyes fell on Sian once again as Denise moved out of her line of sight and the blonde smiled at her warmly. Sophie returned the gesture reflexively and Sian felt her heart tremble excitedly in her chest. She'd missed that beautiful smile so much since Sophie had been admitted, longed to see it again during its prolonged absence. Sian had missed the warmth that radiated so effortlessly from it, the life it brought to her girlfriend's face, the feelings that it stirred within her own body, _love._

"Are you in any pain?" Denise asked Sophie, causing her blue eyes to switch once more onto the older woman.

Sophie seemed to consider the question for a moment, uncertain.

"I don't think so," she replied, wiggling her toes and the fingers on her right hand tentatively.

Denise moved around to the other side of the bed and placed her hand carefully on Sophie's other arm.

"Can you feel me touching you here?" Denise asked, brushing Sophie's skin lightly with her fingertips.

"Yeah" Sophie replied nodding her head slightly.

"What about here?" Denise asked removing the bed covers from Sophie's legs and brushing the right one just above the knee.

As if noticing the cast which engulfed the lower half of her right leg for the first time, Sophie asked, "I broke my leg?"

"Amongst other things," Denise confirmed, smiling sadly. She gently brushed the top of Sophie's leg once more, repeating her previous question. "What about here? Can you feel that?"

Sophie's eyes remained fixed on the cast, confused, as she answered, "Yes."

Denise reached over the bed slightly to touch Sophie's left leg, "Here?" she asked, brushing her shin lightly with her hand.

"Yeah I can feel that," Sophie replied, her eyes trailing up to her right arm and noticing the dressing which covered the upper portion of it, concealing the surgical wound which had been necessary to fix her fractured humerus.

Denise nodded to Sian, indicating for her to repeat the process on Sophie's left hand side.

"Hey babe," Sian said brushing the back of Sophie's left hand with her thumb as she'd become accustomed to over the last two weeks.

Sophie's eyes returned to meet her girlfriend's, "Yeah."

"Can you feel this?" Sian asked anxiously as she moved her hand up past Sophie's wrist a little more.

Sophie smiled again and Sian couldn't help the mirroring expression which spread across her own face.

"Is that a yes?" Sian asked.

"Yeah," Sophie responded nodding.

"No pins and needles?" Denise asked Sophie, causing the brunette to turn her attention to the nurse, "or funny sensations?"

Sophie turned back to Sian, "no more than normal."

"What do you mean?" Denise asked concern evident in her voice.

Sophie kept her eyes on Sian as she answered, "Sian's touch always makes me tingle."

"In your hand?" Denise questioned, a smile creeping onto her face.

"No," Sophie replied. "_Everywhere_."

"Sophie," Sian protested slightly embarrassed by her girlfriend's public admission, but inwardly exultant at the remark, at the fact that Sophie was able to make it after long painful days of restless waiting.

"What?" Sophie asked. "It does."

"Yeah well," Sian spluttered, laughing a little and shifting her feet on the floor.

"Are you blushing?" Sophie asked, noting the tinge of red which had found its way to Sian's cheeks. Her voice remained raspy, as though she'd had a heavy cold.

"No," Sian protested looking at her feet to avoid Denise's gaze. Had she looked however, all she would have been met with was the unfaltering kindness that always played in the edges of the nurses' eyes accompanied by a bright smile, free of judgement.

"Sophie," Denise said clearing her throat momentarily and distracting the brunette. "Do you think you can try and move this right hand for me?"

"This one?" Sophie asked, wiggling her fingers slightly.

"That's it," Denise encouraged, picking the arm up carefully and supporting it beneath the elbow. Sophie winced as it was lifted and Denise lowered it back down quickly. "Sorry," she apologised. "Did that hurt?"

Sophie nodded, "Yeah," she confirmed.

"Where did it hurt?" Denise asked, placing the hand carefully back down onto the bed.

"In my shoulder," Sophie complained, "and down into my arm."

"The whole arm?" Denise probed further.

Sophie nodded her assent.

"Ok," Denise stated simply. "We'll maybe leave that for a minute, ok?"

"Yeah," Sophie agreed, wincing again.

"Does it still hurt?" Denise asked.

"Yeah," Sophie replied.

"Do you think you can give it a minute to see if it eases off?" Denise asked the brunette. "Or do you want me to give you some more analgesia?"

Sophie glanced at the nurse, "No it's ok," she reassured her, gritting her teeth slightly. "It's not as bad now….it's alright if I don't move it too much."

Denise sighed to herself, aware of what Sophie's rehabilitation would involve but tactful enough not to mention it at that precise moment. The next few weeks, Sophie would begin her physiotherapy and, although the therapist would be sensitive to the younger girl's pain, they'd want to get her moving, to help get her back to her independence. It wouldn't be easy, in fact, there would be times when Sophie would likely curse the physiotherapists, but, it'd be worth it, if only to give her back her function, her _life._

"Are you ok here for a minute?" Denise asked Sian who was watching her girlfriend as her blue eyes tracked along her body, taking in her drains and lines with interest.

"Yeah," Sian replied, glancing at the nurse. "Why?"

"I'm going to go and get the doctors to come and check Sophie over," Denise explained. "They'll want to assess her now that she's awake."

"Oh right," Sian answered, "yeah of course."

"I won't be too long," Denise promised her. "I just need to bleep them, let them know what's going on."

"Ok," Sian replied.

"I'll be back in a minute," Denise reassured the blonde as she turned and made her way to the door. She pulled it open slowly and disappeared out of sight as it closed behind her.

Sian turned her attention back to Sophie and sat back down in the chair she'd been occupying earlier, her hand was still wrapped around her girlfriend's as she shifted the seat closer to the bed and reached up to brush Sophie's cheek lightly with her fingertips. Sophie took her eyes away from the cannula which was protruding out of the back of her right hand to look at Sian.

"You look worried," Sophie noted simply as she read Sian's expression.

"I was worried," Sian admitted, picking Sophie's hand up and kissing it lightly. "I thought I was going to lose you Soph…"

Sophie remained silent, her mind still not fully comprehending the extent of her injuries, her memory of what happened escaping her.

"Why?" She asked interestedly. "What happened to me?"

Sian smiled sadly at her girlfriend and brushed another stray hair out of her eyes.

"You really don't remember?" Sian asked her.

"No," Sophie responded. "Can you tell me?"

"Yeah of course," Sian replied hesitantly. "It's just…it's hard for me to remember that's all."

"You've forgotten?" Sophie asked.

"No it's not that," Sian said eyeing her girlfriend suspiciously, her demeanour seeming off somehow, as though she was struggling to conceptualise things in her own mind. She appeared almost detached from what had happened. As though, despite the fact she knew she was in the hospital, she didn't understand what that _meant_. It was as though, she had misinterpreted what Sian was saying. "It's hard for me to remember because it's painful Sophie, to think about what had happened to you and what _could have happened_ to you."

Sophie looked at Sian confused.

"Soph," Sian said her voice strained as she remember _that night_. "You fell off the roof of the church."

"I did?" Sophie responded surprised. "Why would I go up onto the roof?"

"I don't know," Sian replied honestly. "We were hoping that you could tell us."

Sophie thought for a moment, a pained expression on her face.

"I…I can't remember even going to the church," Sophie said. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Sian confirmed. "The Pastor was there when it happened….he saw everything."

"Our Pastor?" Sophie asked her girlfriend.

"Yeah Soph," Sian clarified. "He called the ambulance and they bought you in here."

Sian paused for a moment to collect herself before imposing the seriousness of the situation on Sophie.

"The doctors said that if he hadn't have been there you'd probably be dead right now Soph." Sian went on, searching her girlfriend's eyes for a reaction. If Sophie was shocked or surprised, she didn't show it.

"I'm not dead though," Sophie said simply.

"No," Sian agreed, "but you've been _really ill_ Sophie. The doctors weren't sure that you'd survive…we've been waiting….hoping that you would….wake up….it's been weeks…"

Sian wiped quickly at the tears which had sprung from her eyes unbidden.

"Hey," Sophie said noticing her girlfriend's distress. "Sian…I'm ok now."

"Look at you Soph," Sian said, evidently upset. "You're not alright…you're far from alright…"

"It'll be ok babe," Sophie said, a look of concentration on her face as she attempted to reassure the blonde.

Sophie managed a grin and Sian couldn't help but smile.

"See," Sophie pointed out. "I'm fine."

"You promise?" Sian asked.

"I think so," Sophie replied honestly. "I mean, I've got a killer headache….and….my chest hurts if I try to take a deep breath but…otherwise…well…actually, I feel a little bit like I'm drunk …like, I know I'm saying things but…it doesn't sound like me…does that make sense?"

"You do seem a bit out of it." Sian admitted, "but you suffered a massive head injury Sophie," Sian continued. "The doctors were worried that you might not be able to speak afterwards, they said you could have had brain damage…"

"How would they know?" Sophie asked, attempting a joke.

"Don't do that Sophie," Sian scolded. "You can't joke about this..."

"I want you to smile though," Sophie interrupted. "Sian, you look so sad…"

"I'm not sad," Sian reassured her, "well, not as much anyway," she admitted. "Soph, I can honestly say that today is one of the best days I've had in a while…"

"So smile then," Sophie pressed, "Please," she pleaded, "for me?"

"Sophie," Sian protested.

"Please…." Sophie started. "Please…please…please…please," she imitated Sian's begging from when they'd first started dating and the blonde had tried to convince her to talk to her parents about going to a festival together.

"Sophie…" Sian repeated her resolve breaking.

"Please…." Sophie said again. "I'd kiss you, that's guaranteed to put a smile on your face but….well….you're too far away…."

"You want to kiss me?" Sian asked, the corner of her mouth turning up slightly.

Sophie nodded, "For the last fifteen minutes or so…but…you have to come to me…"

"Well why didn't you say something sooner?" Sian asked.

"I would have," Sophie stated simply, "only…you were too busy blushing weren't you…"

Sian leant over the bed rail slowly and lowered her lips towards Sophie's teasingly.

"This doesn't make what happened to you any less serious Soph," Sian said pointedly.

"Maybe not," Sophie said trying to lift her head slightly to meet Sian's lips but struggling, "but, it'll make me feel better, and that's what you wanted right?"

Sian's grin grew wide at Sophie's wide and she nodded her head in acquiescence.

"Right," she said, before lowering her lips to meet her girlfriends, all thoughts of what had happened, what could have been vanishing instantly from her mind at the touch of Sophie's soft lips pressed to her own. Sian pulled back separating the two of them and looked in the deep blue of Sophie's eyes, _home_, she thought.


	13. Chapter 13

After returning to her seat, Sian had filled Sophie in properly regarding the injuries that she'd sustained from her fall. She had told her about every fracture and operative procedure that she'd had as much and as well as she could remember with her limited medical knowledge. She was just about to move on and explain about her craniotomy when Denise had returned to Sophie's room accompanied by Dr Trevelyan, who was wearing the blue scrubs that Sian had become so accustomed to seeing on him. Together, they crossed the room towards Sophie's bed, Denise trailing closely behind the doctor, the door closing quietly in their wake.

"Hi Sian," Dr Trevelyan greeted the blonde as he came to a halt on the opposite side of the bed to where she was seated. Her left hand was still wrapped loosely around Sophie's as it lay in the bed beside her, and the smile that had spread across her face only moments ago remained firmly in place.

"Hi," she replied brightly, watching Dr Trevelyan as he leant over the bed rail on Sophie's right hand side slightly.

"Hello Sophie," he said kindly, meeting her blue eyes with his own. "I'm Dr Trevelyan," he introduced himself. "I've been in charge of your care since you were admitted to the hospital. It's nice to see you're finally awake."

He paused for a minute, the corners of his mouth turning up in an encouraging smile.

"You gave everybody quite a scare," he informed her, glancing up at the monitor above Sophie's bed to check her observations. "How are you feeling?"

"Ok, I guess," Sophie replied shrugging in response, a grimace contorting her face in pain as she elevated her right shoulder.

"A bit sore huh?" Dr Trevelyan noted sympathetically.

"Not all the time," Sophie said honestly. "Just…when I move too much, that's all."

Dr Trevelyan turned towards Denise who was waiting expectantly for his instruction.

"Can we up her morphine infusion to 1.25 milligrams per hour?" Dr Trevelyan asked the nurse.

"Sure," Denise replied, stepping around the bed to adjust the settings on the syringe driver controlling Sophie's pain relief.

"That should help manage your pain a little better," Dr Trevelyan offered kindly as he turned back to face the youngster.

"Thanks," Sophie acknowledged gratefully.

"You're welcome." Dr Trevelyan acknowledged. "If it's alright with you Sophie," he began sensitively. "I'd like to ask you a few questions about yourself, are you happy for me to do that?"

Sophie nodded her agreement.

"Ok," the older man said. "Are you able to tell me your date of birth?"

"My date of birth?" Sophie questioned.

"Yes," Dr Trevelyan responded. "When were you born?"

Sophie glanced at Sian who was watching her girlfriend intently, eager to hear her answer.

"The fourth of November," Sophie replied uncertainly, "right?"

"That's right," he conformed. "Can you tell me which year?"

Sophie threw a look in Sian's direction once again before saying, "Nineteen ninety four."

"Great," Dr Trevelyan encouraged. "What about your sisters name, can you remember that?"

"Yeah," Sophie replied, "its Rosie."

"Is she older or younger than yourself?" he continued quickly.

"Older," Sophie responded.

"Is Rosie your only sibling?" Dr Trevelyan asked her.

"Yes," Sophie said reflexively. "No….wait…I've got a little brother now. Well, half-brother technically but, he's still my brother."

"Can you remember what happened to you?" the older man asked, changing tact slightly. "Why you're in hospital?"

"No, not really," Sophie admitted. "Sian told me that I fell off a roof," she almost questioned.

"That's right," Dr Trevelyan confirmed.

"I don't remember that," Sophie reiterated. "Should I though? Does it mean something's wrong because I can't remember?" Sophie asked anxiously.

"Not necessarily," Dr Trevelyan reassured her. "Your blood alcohol level was elevated when you came in to the hospital," he told her. "That coupled with the head injury you sustained from the fall would account for your memory loss."

"I don't have amnesia then?" Sophie questioned.

"Maybe some minor retrograde amnesia," Dr Trevelyan admitted, "but nothing that I'm concerned about. Your long-term memory appears to be intact."

He paused for a moment, turning his attention to Sian who was watching him, a look of concern on her face at the mention of Sophie's amnesia.

"Try not to worry," Dr Trevelyan encouraged. "Sophie's amnesia is very mild. It seems to be focused around recalling the events around the time of her accident. It's quite common following a head injury. They'll likely come back to her over the next few days or so. She remembers yourself and her family, so I'm not troubled that she's forgotten much before that. We'll continue to monitor it over the next day or so," he said to Sophie, "and if any problems do arise we can address them then."

He turned to Denise beside him.

"You said vision and sensation appeared normal?" he questioned the nurse.

"Her pupils were equal and reactive to light," Denise confirmed. "Sensation is grossly intact to light touch throughout all four limbs."

Denise paused momentarily.

"I haven't fully assessed muscle power yet because of pain," Denise continued.

"Ok," Dr Trevelyan acknowledged, turning back to Sophie and placing the fingertips of his left hand in the palm of her right one.

He reached over the table with his opposite hand and Sian released her grip on Sophie's hand to allow him to do the same with her left hand.

"Can you squeeze my fingers?" he asked Sophie, a smile creeping onto his face. "Try not to break them though," he joked, "I'm still going to need to use them for the rest of the day."

Sophie looked between her left and right hand, concentration evident on her face as she tried to follow Dr Trevelyan's instructions.

The older man threw a meaningful glance at Denise beside him which didn't go unnoticed by Sian.

"What is it?" she asked worriedly. "What's wrong?"

"Are you left or right handed Sophie?" he questioned, frowning slightly.

"Right handed," Sophie said. "Why?"

"Can you try and hold my fingers really tightly," he instructed her. "I'm going to try and pull them out of your hands and I want you to keep them there, ok?"

"Ok," she said, gripping as tightly as she could to his hands.

Dr Trevelyan pulled away from Sophie, trying to free his fingers from her grasp. His left hand stayed in contact with the brunette's right, her grip strong and unyielding. His right hand however, easily disengaged itself from her left.

"Sophie can you bend your elbows up to touch your shoulders?" he asked her, his face neutral and impassive.

Sophie did as she was told, wincing slightly as she move her right arm, her muscles tight from fifteen days of limited activity and her surgical scar. Her left arm remained still on the bed.

"Try the left arm again for me," he said, reaching over the bed to support it in his hands.

Sophie tried again, her face full of determination.

"I can't," she said frustrated after a moment. "It won't move."

"You can feel me touching it though?" he questioned.

"Yes," Sophie replied. "I could feel it when Sian touched me too."

"What about your leg?" he continued, placing her arm carefully back on the bed beside her body. "Can you move the toes of your left leg?"

Sophie wiggled her toes easily, in response to his question.

"Good," he said, stepping round to the end of the bed and holding his hand palm down a few inches above the bed. "Now can you lift your leg so that your toes touch my hand here?"

Sophie seemed to struggle for a moment but eventually managed to lift her leg off the mattress to reach the target of his hand.

"No quadriceps lag," Denise noted surprised, as she watched Sophie's leg, knee still extended, lower back onto the bed.

"What's wrong?" Sophie asked. "Why can't I move my arm?"

"Is it paralysed?" Sian questioned anxiously, her concern palpable.

"Not paralysed," Dr Trevelyan reassured her. "It's just very weak."

"It'll get better though?" Sian enquired hesitantly. "I mean, it's not permanent."

"Sophie's grip is poor, but, there's evidence of activity there," he explained. "The same goes for her elbow, her muscles are working it's just, they're not generating enough force to move against gravity."

He paused for a moment to let his words sink in.

"The fact that Sophie has _some_ activity is really positive," he assured them both. "It means that there is definite opportunity for improvement. Plus, her lower limb doesn't seem to be affected, so that's really promising."

"Why can't I move it?" Sophie queried.

"It's probably as a result of your head injury," Dr Trevelyan explained. "You had a bleed in your skull after you fell," he went on. "We had to operate and remove the excess fluid to relieve the pressure it was causing on your brain."

He paused momentarily before continuing.

"Sometimes, if the pressure is too prolonged or too much it can lead to damage to the brain tissue and, depending where it is, could cause paralysis of the opposite side of your body." He carried on.

"Sophie's leg is alright though," Sian said confused.

"Exactly," Dr Trevelyan agreed. "It seems to have only affected Sophie's upper limb which although isn't ideal, likely means the weakness is only transient and will resolve. As I said before, Sophie has evidence of activity in her hand and elbow; it's just very limited at the moment."

"How long will it take to come back?" Sophie asked him.

"It varies for each patient," the older man informed her. "Physiotherapy will facilitate the process somewhat but improvement will happen as your body and your head injury continues to heal. You just need to give it time."

Sophie glanced at her girlfriend and for the first time since she'd woken up, Sian saw her apprehension, her fear and it killed her.

Dr Trevelyan spent the next few minutes checking Sophie's wound dressings and re-iterating and elaborating further on what Sian had told her regarding her injuries. With each word, Sian noticed Sophie's expression become more and more despondent, the indifference and apathy she'd had on initially waking being eroded by the stark reality of the situation, of her condition.

"We'll hopefully be able to remove the tracheostomy tube tomorrow," Dr Trevelyan said encouragingly. "As long as all your blood results come back within the normal limits and your oxygen saturations are maintained above ninety five percent."

"Right," Sophie acknowledged unenthusiastically.

Dr Trevelyan glanced at the clock on the wall of Sophie's room and sighed apologetically.

"I'm afraid I have to be in theatre soon," he said regretfully. "I'll come back and check on you once I'm finished though."

"Thanks," Sian said gratefully in Sophie's silence.

"Look," he said glancing between the two girls, his eyes settling on Sophie, who was looking at her feet downheartedly. "I know that it's a lot to get to grips with," he empathised, "but all things considered you're making good progress."

Sophie raised her eyes to meet Dr Trevelyan's but remained silent.

"Do you know if your parents are going to be in today?" he questioned her.

Sophie looked to Sian uncertain.

"They should be in at some point," Sian answered on Sophie's behalf. "They normally come in a little later."

"I'm going to give them both a call," he informed Sophie kindly. "Let them know that you're awake and update them on what's happened, is that ok?"

Sophie nodded her head, "Yeah," she replied quietly.

"Ok," Dr Trevelyan said looking towards Denise momentarily in her position on the right hand side of Sophie's bed and gestured for her to follow him. "I'll see you both a little later then."

Sian and Sophie watched as the older man made his way to the door and disappeared through it.

"I'll be back in a moment," Denise reassured them as she followed behind him, the door closing in her wake and obscuring her from their view.

Sian turned back to Sophie who was looking at her left hand where it sat, once again, in Sian's clasp.

"It'll be alright Soph," Sian tried to bolster her girlfriend. "You heard what he said…it's probably only temporary."

"Yeah I guess," Sophie said, obviously unconvinced.

"Hey," Sian soothed, reaching up and brushing Sophie's brow comfortingly. "What were you just saying to me huh? You said you were fine, remember, that you were ok…"

"What did I know…" Sophie interrupted.

"No you were right babe," Sian said, "I mean, things could be a lot worse, we've just…we've got to take one day at a time that's all."

"You don't have to stay you know," Sophie stated sadly.

"What do you mean?" Sian asked confused.

"You know," Sophie replied. "Through all this…"

"Sophie," Sian cut her off, preventing the brunette from finishing her thought. "I'm not going anywhere alright…I told you before, remember?"

"Sian, it's not fair on you though," Sophie protested. "I mean, look at me, you were right… I must look a right mess." Sophie turned her eyes up towards the right side of her head in a futile attempt to see where she now knew her craniotomy scar lay; her head partly shave, thick stitches protruding from the raised wound.

"No," Sian said smiling and reaching over to trace Sophie's scalp alongside the scar gently with her fingertips. "You look beautiful."

"You're such a liar Sian," Sophie said disbelievingly.

"No I'm not," Sian disagreed seriously. "You'll always be beautiful to me Soph, inside and outside."

"Really?" Sophie asked uncertainly.

"Really," Sian confirmed leaning over and kissing Sophie's head just above her right eyebrow. Sophie winced slightly as Sian's lips grazed the bruised tissue then smiled as she lowered her lips to Sophie's own once again, kissing her girlfriend properly.

Sian pulled back a little and noticed the smile that had spread across Sophie's face.

"I've said it before but I'll say it again," Sian said, a wide grin on her own face. "You look great when you smile Soph."

"Yeah well, you do an' all," Sophie reciprocated.

"I love you," Sian said simply as she leant forward and kissed Sophie again, her soft lips meeting her girlfriend's tenderly as though they were an extension of her own body.

The door to the room opened loudly and Sian pulled back from Sophie quickly in surprise, turning her head in its direction and expecting to see Denise returning from her discussion with Dr Trevelyan. Instead, she was shocked to see Rosie's form as she entered through the door, her huge handbag hanging loosely over one arm; her eyes fixed firmly on the mobile phone in her other as she typed a text message.

"Hiya Sian babe," Rosie said lightly, not lifting her gaze from her mobile as she made her way in the direction of the bed, her high heels clicking loudly with each step. "You'll never guess what happened….I went all the way down to the studio to find out that the shoot had been postponed until tomorrow. I mean, they could have called me or something to let me know right? I tried calling Jason at work to come and get me but, he said he couldn't because he was busy…so…I had to get the bus…can you believe it? I mean, me…on a bus…it's…"

Rosie lifted her gaze from the phone as she finished texting and noted her sisters' eyes watching her closely. She dropped her bag on the floor where she was standing and practically ran across the remaining distance between herself and Sophie, her arms opening wide in a ready embrace.

"Oh my god, Sophie!" Rosie gasped, stopping up short just before she flung her arms around her younger sister , as though remembering the extent of Sophie's injuries and not wanting to hurt her. "You're awake…"

"I see you're just as sharp as ever," Sophie noted sarcastically, laughing slightly to herself.

"You're not brain damaged…" Rosie noted tactlessly at Sophie's words.

"Well that makes one of us then," Sophie replied teasingly.

"Wait….what?" Rosie asked confused.

Sian and Sophie shared a smirk at the older girls' expense before Rosie shrugged the comment off and leant over Sophie on the bed, kissing her on the cheek firmly and leaving behind a red lipstick mark in her wake.

"Don't you ever do that to me again," Rosie scolded her younger sister, tears beginning to stream down her face as she pointed a finger at Sophie accusingly. "I've been worried sick about you."

"I'm sorry," Sophie apologised sincerely, her own tears threatening to fall at the distress and grief evident on Rosie's face.

Rosie managed a half smile as she leant forward and kissed Sophie's forehead, picking up her sisters right hand in her own and squeezing it tightly as she did so. Sophie squeezed it back reassuringly as Rosie's lips left her skin. The older sister laughed to herself slightly as she noted the lipstick mark on Sophie's forehead and she licked the thumb of her free hand before gently rubbing it away. Once all traces of her lipstick had been removed, Rosie continued to caress Sophie's forehead with the pad of her thumb, drawing small circles on the soft skin. Sophie closed her eyes slightly, a tear escaping down her cheek.

Rosie wiped it away quickly for her sister and smiled sadly through her own tears.

"I love you….you….stupid, idiot." Rosie almost sighed, relieved.

"I know," Sophie said meeting her gaze. "I love you too."

Rosie laughed once again and Sophie turned to Sian who was watching the interaction between the two siblings with affection.

"Hey," Sophie said, the fingers of her left hand inching ever so slightly in an attempt to squeeze Sian's hand. "I love you an' all, you know…."

Sian smiled and kissed the back of Sophie's hand in acknowledgement. "I know you do babe," she replied before turning to look at Rosie, her eyes finally registering the older girl properly since she'd entered the room. "Rosie…." She began questioningly.

"Yeah babe," Rosie replied, glancing between her sister and the blonde.

"What _are_ you wearing?" Sian asked laughing as she noted Rosie's outfit.


	14. Chapter 14

"What?" Rosie said glancing down at her outfit. "This?"

"Um yeah," Sian replied laughing to herself. "Rosie, you look like a prostitute…"

Rosie's mouth opened wide in preparation to protest but closed suddenly when she turned her head and noticed Sophie's puzzled expression.

"Is that…" Sophie started, her face scrunching up in confusion. "Are you wearing a bodice?"

"Oh I see," Rosie said laughing to herself slightly and dropping one hand dramatically down at her side. "Now that you're awake, I've got to deal with both of you mocking my fashion sense…which, by the way," she paused for a moment to cast a meaningful look over Sian's attire, "is clearly better than both of yours put together."

Sian glanced down tentatively at the red and white plaid shirt she was wearing.

"I mean, I know you're a lesbian Sian but plaid…really?" Rosie said jokingly. "You're about a hundred miles left of the nearest farm."

Sian smiled, unoffended at the older girls comments. After living with Rosie for the last couple of weeks, Sian had picked up on her mannerisms, knew when she was serious and when she was taunting her. The worry that they'd shared over Sophie as she lay comatose and the disappointment in Sally and Kevin's continued behaviour, had bought the pair of them closer together, had resulted in them forming an unlikely friendship and all that entailed. Over the last two weeks, when tensions were running high, or one of them felt low, they'd relied on the obligatory jibes towards each other, the sarcastic comments, the ridicule, to lighten the oppressive mood, to make them smile in a situation that seemed nothing but dire to them, a situation which, they could not control.

"At least what I'm wearing is time appropriate," Sian responded jauntily. "It's ten o'clock in the morning Rosie….not midnight in Soho."

Rosie feigned offense at Sian's words as Sophie watched the interaction, an amused expression on her face. Ever since Sian and herself had returned from Sheffield after running away together, Rosie had been the biggest supporter of their relationship. When Sian had moved into their home, Rosie had accepted her as another member of their family, teasing her as though she was just another younger sister. Sophie wasn't surprised to see Rosie behave this way with Sian; she was just being her usual self. It was Sian's response to Rosie, her interaction with the older girl, which surprised Sophie. For as long as Sophie could remember, Sian had always _tolerated_ Rosie. It wasn't that she didn't like her older sister, so much as, they were two very different people, with, for the most part, very different values and morals. Sian had always reacted to Rosie's comments with mild annoyance and disbelief. To see the pair of them taunting each other now, an evident fondness and respect for the other obvious in their body language and on their faces, made her smile widen affectionately and she found herself wondering, how long she'd been unconscious for, in order for their relationship to evolve into the one she witnessed before her.

Sophie listened to the pair of them for a while as they continued to trade light-hearted insults before they slowly began to move onto more serious subjects, such as Kevin and Sally's on-going feud. They explained to Sophie how Sian had moved in with Rosie at the Grimshaw's, that her parents remained at loggerheads, each blaming the other for her current predicament, neither able to compromise their position. Sian updated both Sophie and Rosie with the latest news regarding the sale of their house, relaying the information that Denise had provided her earlier to them. Rosie went on to tell Sophie that Jason and Eileen both sent her their love and that everyone was asking after her and wishing her well back home, especially Chesney and Sunita. From there Rosie and Sian shifted onto much more trivial topics such as Norris' attempts at enticing customers back to the Kabin now that it was reopen and Liz's showdown with Tracy in the Rovers. As she listened to their conversation, unable to add much, Sophie found her eyes growing heavy once again, the familiarity of their voices, of their faces and their individual personalities, comforting Sophie as she lay, incapacitated in bed. Sophie closed her eyes, grateful that both her sister and girlfriend were here beside her, talking enthusiastically to one another, no sign or hint of an imminent argument. She'd missed this, Sophie thought to herself sadly. It'd been so long since the people she cared about had been able to waste away the minutes talking about inconsequential things without an argument, or an accusation. She knew that her parents weren't here, that the likelihood of them being able to do the same was about as much as her winning the lottery, but, it didn't matter, because if nothing else, she _knew _one thing, was _certain_ of it; that Sian and Rosie were _here_ for her, that they _always_ would be, and that meant more to her then she could ever express in words.

Sophie's right temple throbbed painfully, the powerful headache reminding her of the damage she'd managed to inflict upon herself with her careless actions and she felt a wave of nausea overwhelm her as she moved her head slightly in an attempt to ease it, instead causing a sharp pain to shoot down her right arm from her shoulder to the tips of her fingers. Sophie cursed herself inwardly. Her body hurt in places she'd never even known existed before, her chest felt tight from the surgical wound and her ribs moved agonisingly with every breath she took. The back of her hand felt sore from the cannula and venflon which had been inserted into the back of it and her right leg itched irritatingly beneath her plaster cast, the sensation gnawing at her subconscious so much that it made her want to scream out loud.

In the grand scheme of hangovers, this was likely to be the worst she'd ever have, and, she vowed to herself, the _last._ What on earth had possessed her to drink herself into oblivion? Sophie thought self-deprecatingly. She couldn't for the life of her remember, but surely, it can't have been so bad that she wound up on the roof of a building, the roof of a _church_ no less, considering and attempting…what? _Suicide?_ No, Sophie thought to herself, ridding the thought almost as soon as it had come. She'd never consider that, never be so selfish as to try and end her life, no matter what had happened. How could she do something like that, knowing what she'd do to the people that she loved, the people she'd be leaving behind. _She couldn't...could she?_

Sophie tried to remember, forced herself to think back to the evening it happened, to being back on the roof, to what she'd been feeling before she fell, but all she remembered was darkness, was _nothing._ The last thing she remembered was her dad. He'd come round to the house, had told her mum that he'd sold the house, that she'd have to find somewhere else to live, that _they'd_ have to find somewhere else to live once the paperwork had been signed and the sale agreed. She'd been devastated. She remembered clearly now, _their _house, no _home_, would no longer belong to them. It was the last thread that could hold her family together, that had given her hope that maybe her parents would reconcile, that they'd be a family once again. With the house gone, there was nothing to keep them close to one another, at least, that's how she'd felt. Her dad would live with baby Jack in his flat near the park, Rosie would live with Jason in his flat and her mum and her would live…well…who knew. They'd have to move away from Coronation Street, away from everything she'd ever known, ever cared about, away from _Sian._

They'd barely be able to afford a two bedroom flat on her mum's income, yet alone three bedrooms. Her mum was still struggling to come to terms with her sexuality, Sophie _knew_, even if she'd never admit it to the older woman. There was no way that Sian would be able to live with them once the house was sold. Her mum wouldn't let her share a room with Sophie, wouldn't be able to afford to feed them both, Sophie understood that. In fact, she didn't expect her mum to have to do that. It was part of the reason she wanted to leave college, to get a job_ full time_. She wanted to be able to help her mum financially now that her dad's income was devoted to Jack. She didn't want her mum to struggle, hated the thought of being a burden to her, when she'd done so much for her and Rosie over the years.

Everything was changing in her life and she'd felt helpless and alone, like all the control she'd ever had was disintegrating before her eyes and all she could do was watch as her world spiralled out of control.

When she'd had her faith it had been easier. She'd believed there was a purpose to everything that happened, trusted in God to watch over her and her family, but, since she'd been denounced by the pastor, forced to move church, even that had slowly started to dissipate, until she'd not even known what she believed in anymore. What if there was no purpose to anything? What if God didn't exist? What then? She'd found a new meaning to her life when she'd accepted God into it. She knew her family hadn't understood her faith, but she had. She'd been so certain of it, trusted implicitly in the bible, in its lessons, found comfort in its words and messages. To doubt that left her feeling hollow and directionless. What did she have to believe in if she didn't believe in God? Certainly not people, not her family. Her father's affair had shattered any trust she'd ever had in him, her mum's spitefulness and pettiness had shattered Sophie's faith in her.

Sophie felt another wave of nausea flood over her as she recalled this, the memories rekindling the same emotions, the same sense of being _lost_. She tried once again to picture herself on the roof, to remember what had happened, but, the more she tried to remember, the harder the memory evaded her. She was desperate to know that she hadn't jumped, that it had just been an _accident_. The thought that she'd done this intentionally, that she'd given up all hope, had chosen to end her own life, distressed her immensely, because, if she had, then it meant one thing; _she lost faith in herself_.

That alone said more about her than anything. If she didn't believe in herself, in her strengths and her character, then maybe she didn't have anything to live for, didn't deserve the life she'd been given. Her life was far from perfect, but, it could have been worse, much worse. She'd lost sight of that, she realised, lost all sense of relativity. After all, her parents had been divorced before, hadn't they? They had found their way back to each other. In the years that they'd been separated, Sophie had still been a part of their family, had still _belonged._

Sophie sighed inwardly to herself. Everything was so messed up, in her head, in reality. She was so confused that she didn't even know what to think anymore. She needed to talk to someone, to get everything out in the open, all her doubts, all her fears, _everything_. Put it out there for someone else to help her deal with, to help her figure out, because, she was clearly struggling to do it alone. Look what had happened when she'd tried.

She'd not wanted to trouble her parents, hadn't wanted them to deal with her problems on top of their own. That's why she'd not wanted her mum to go into college for a meeting with the principal, hadn't told her the _real_ reasons for dropping out of school. She'd known that her mum would try and stop her, would want her to put her education first despite the difficulties it meant for her financially, the sacrifices she'd have to make. Of course that wasn't the only reason she'd started skipping school, she'd tried to tell herself that it was, because, at least that reason was logical, was mature. The bare truth of the matter was that, she'd become so distracted during class thinking about her home life, had come back to the house to be met with row upon row that she'd not been able to concentrate on assignments, had fallen behind and not been able to catch up, plain and simple. It had been a never ending cycle and she didn't have the commitment, the enjoyment that she'd once had to help push her through it.

She'd caught up before, when her and Sian had missed college at the beginning of the semester, they'd worked hard, made up for the work they'd been absent for. With everything going on at home though, with the tram crash and the collapse of their family, of their parent's marriage, Sophie had become apathetic towards school, hadn't seen it as important in the grand scheme of things, when her world was falling apart, filled with death and heartbreak.

Sophie felt sick again, her headache so intense that she thought her skull might explode at any minute, whether from the physical damage or all her thoughts, she was undecided. The door to her hospital room flew open, crashing noisily as it connected with the wall behind it, causing the brunette to jump, her body protesting fiercely at the sudden movement, her eyes opening, the bright light in the room irritating her retinas, her nausea increasing rapidly with the onset of photophobia.

"Sophie," came her mum's concerned voice as she tried to close her eyes again, to shut out the pain the light was causing. "Sophie…"

"Mum," Rosie protested, clearly put off by Sally's sudden and raucous arrival. "Shh….she's sleeping."

"Sorry," Sally apologised as she walked over to the bed, kissing Sophie on the forehead lightly and taking her hand from Rosie, rubbing the back of it tenderly in her hand. "Sophie," she said, her voice soft now, "It's mum, can you hear me?"

Sophie opened her eyes slightly to look at Sally as she stood above her. She licked her lips to moisten them before she answered. Her throat was suddenly dry, the nausea overpowering.

"Yeah," Sophie said simply, her voice quiet.

Sally sighed heavily.

"Oh thank God you're alright," Sally replied, kissing her daughter on the forehead once more.

Sophie winced a little as her lips pressed into the dark bruise above her right eye.

"How are you feeling?" Sally asked Sophie anxiously.

"I feel sick," Sophie replied honestly, her eyes opening fully to look at the others.

"You want me to get the nurse?" Rosie asked worriedly as Sophie closed her eyes again.

Sophie nodded and heard the sound of Rosie's chair scraping back against the tiled floor as she stood up, heard the click of her shoes fade as they headed out of the door in search of Denise.

Sophie opened her eyes to look at her mum again. Sally was leaning over the bed close to her daughter, her free hand gently stroking Sophie's forehead comfortingly.

"It'll be alright," Sally tried to reassure her. "The nurse will be able to give you something to help with the nausea."

"No mum…." Sophie began being hit by a wave of nausea so intense it made her head spin. She felt herself retch, her ribs searing with pain as her stomach went into spasm. Her throat was burning as she retched once more and this time, unable to withstand it any longer, she lurched forward, throwing up over her mum just as Rosie re-entered the room, Denise following behind her.

Denise came over to the bed quickly, pulling a sick bowl from the cupboard as she passed and placed it in front of the brunette just as she was sick again. Sally grabbed for some tissues from her bag and began wiping at her top frantically to clean it, pausing when she noticed Rosie's amused expression.

"What?" Sally asked her daughter.

"Nothing," Rosie replied flatly, her concern returning to Sophie who was resting back against the pillow, her eyes closed. Denise wiped the young girl's mouth with a tissue kindly.

"How do you feel now?" she asked sympathetically.

Sophie opened her eyes a little to look at the nurse.

"Actually," Sophie answered honestly. "I feel a lot better."

"Is everything alright?" Sian asked concerned.

"I'll check your neurology observations," Denise informed Sophie before addressing the room collectively, "I think it's probably the morphine though. We probably just need to adjust the dosage a bit."

She noted the worried expressions on Rosie and Sian's faces before adding.

"It's nothing to worry about," she said encouragingly.

Sian and Rosie visibly relaxed at Denise's words and the nurse moved around to the other side of the bed, leaving a fresh sick bowl in Sophie's right hand in case she needed it further.

"Sorry," Sophie apologised to her mum, who was still wiping at her jumped with her tissues. She stopped at her daughters words and reached down to take her hand once more, to show Sophie that it didn't matter.

"It's alright love," she replied sad that Sophie had felt the need to apologise. "You couldn't help it."

"What about your jumper?" Sophie asked.

"What about it?" Sally asked. "It'll wash out Sophie; it's you I'm worried about."

"I know," Sophie said, "I'm sorry about that too….please don't hate me."

"I don't hate you Sophie," Sally responded, smiling sadly. "I love you. You're my daughter…."

Sally paused for a moment to compose herself, inhaling sharply to stop herself from crying.

"Besides," she sniffed, "it's me that's sorry. You've got nothing to apologise for, ok? Nothing."


	15. Chapter 15

Denise adjusted the settings on the syringe driver controlling Sophie's analgesia from her position on the left hand side of the bed.

"I've just reduced your morphine dose slightly," Denise informed Sophie who turned her gaze momentarily away from her mum's to meet the kind nurses. "Hopefully that should settle the nausea whilst maintaining adequate pain relief for you."

She paused for a moment before adding. "Let me know if you're still in a lot of pain and I'll come back and increase your dose a little more."

Denise smiled warmly at Sophie before turning her attention to Sally. "I'm going to go on a break, but there's another nurse outside if you need anything."

The nurse glanced at the rest of the faces in the room.

"I'll leave you alone to talk," she said meaningfully as she met Sally's gaze once again.

"Thank you," Sally replied gratefully as Denise made her way towards the door to Sophie's room and disappeared out of sight.

Sophie kept her eyes focused on the door as it closed behind the scrub clad nurse, avoiding her mum's concerned look, not wanting to see the pain in her eyes, the dark bags which surrounded them from the nights of troubled sleep she'd clearly endured because of her.

"Sophie," Sally coaxed gently, leaning over the bed slightly and into the line of her youngest daughters vision so that their eyes met.

Sophie dropped her gaze to the bed and the loss of her previous tactic and Sally placed her hand under her daughters chin gently, tilting her head up to face her.

"Look at me Sophie," Sally instructed her daughter softly as Sophie closed her eyes in evasion once more.

There was no hint of anger in her voice as she spoke, only compassion and gentle persuasion.

Sophie sighed slightly before finally opening her eyes to meet her mother's. Her eyes were moist with tears and she blinked embarrassed in an attempt to clear then, instead forcing one to escape in its lonely journey down her cheek.

"Oh Sophie," Sally breathed sadly, reaching out with her hand to wipe away the stray tear before leaning over her daughter and pulling her into an awkward embrace, her arms wrapping themselves loosely around Sophie's neck, her face pressed gently against her daughters right cheek. Sally turned her head slightly to plant a tender kiss on Sophie's cheek. "Please don't cry sweetheart," she soothed, stroking the back of Sophie's head with her right hand in an attempt at comfort. "It's okay, everything's going to be ok….you'll see."

Sally felt a firm pressure on her right arm and turned her head slightly to look at its source, her stomach twisting wretchedly at the sight of Sophie's right hand as it attempted to wrap itself around her, attempted to cling to her desperately, _despairingly, _but failing as a result of the injury, the weakness it had sustained. Sally leant down lower and Sophie managed to move her right hand up her mum's back slightly where it curled tightly around the jumper she wore as though afraid to let go for fear that she'd disappear.

She felt Sophie sob against her chest, felt her own heart break at her daughters anguish, her daughters' _pain_. Sally felt her own tears falling freely now, all the worry, all the torment she'd suffered over the last fifteen days, exploding from her in a rush of raw and untamed emotion.

"Shhh," she soothed again, pulling back slightly to glance over Sophie's face, whose features were full of hurt.

"I'm so sorry," Sophie repeated her earlier words through her sobs.

"What were you thinking Sophie hey?" Sally questioned gently, wiping at her face with the back of her hand. "What were you doing up on the roof?"

"I don't know," Sophie sniffed quietly. "I can't remember…"

Sally pulled Sophie back into a gentle embrace once again.

"I love you so much," Sally cried, holding onto her daughter tightly. "I might not say it all the time, but I do. You and Rosie, you're the two most important things in my life, do you know that? I don't know what I'd have done if I'd lost you Sophie."

Sally paused for a moment, drawing back to look at her youngest daughter.

"I've been so scared," she admitted to the brunette, "so scared that you wouldn't wake up and that I'd never be able to tell you that I love you, and that I'm sorry for everything that's been going on at home, with me and your dad."

She paused for a moment to wipe at her face once more.

"If that's what made you think….made you try to…to….," Sally struggled to voice what she believed to have happened out loud, refused to accept that Sophie had tried to kill herself.

"Tried to what?" Sophie asked confused, tears still stinging her eyes.

"To commit suicide," Sally finally verbalised.

"No," Sophie responded firmly, her internal debate from earlier finally won. The realisation came to her clearly and indisputably. There was no way she would have done it, _nothing _that would have led her down a path with no redemption, that would lead her to forsake her own life. "I wouldn't do that…no…I wouldn't…never."

"I should have been there for you more," Sally admitted ignoring Sophie's words. "I should have tried harder, should have listened…"

"Mum," Sophie said in protest. "I didn't jump…I could never do that to you and my dad…."

"You said that you couldn't remember?" Sally asked bewildered.

"I can't,' Sophie answered. "Not really, but, I know….I know deep down that I wouldn't have jumped."

"Yeah," Rosie agreed with her younger sister. "You know what Sophie's like with heights mum. Can you really see her throwing herself off the roof of a building?"

"Rosie," Sally scolded, giving her eldest daughter a bemused look. "This is serious…"

"I know it is mum," Rosie answered plainly, "and I'm being serious. Sophie wouldn't have tried to kill herself.'

She paused for a moment to glance between Sophie and Sian momentarily, who were both watching her closely as she spoke in her sisters' defence.

"Actually," Rosie said defiantly, turning back towards her mum. "I find it kind of insulting that you don't believe her."

"I never said that I didn't believe her," Sally said defensively.

"You didn't have to," Rosie reciprocated. "It was written all over your face when that policeman had suggested it." She paused once more to cast an eye at Sian whose eyes met hers, a look of understanding and agreement on her face. "All the recent fighting with my dad, everything that's happened, everything you've done since the _accident_ happened," she continued, emphasizing the word for effect, "spoke volumes of what you thought."

"She's right Sally," Sian assented timidly.

"Ok, so maybe I do," Sally confessed, "I mean, I did…" she quickly corrected. "If you say that you didn't, well, then I believe you Sophie."

Sophie didn't look convinced by her mum's words and searched Sally's face, her eyes, for any hint of truth that she could find.

"No you don't," Sophie sighed, tears forming in her eyes once more. "You actually believe I could have done this to you…with everything else that was going on….after everything you've been through…"

"I don't know what to believe Sophie," Sally tried to explain. "I'm really trying to understand…to figure out what was going through your head that night to make you go to the church. To make you climb up onto the roof..."

Sally reached down to touch Sophie's right hand, but the brunette moved it out of reach slightly, hurt evident on her face.

"Sophie," Sian said sadly, uninvited sympathy for Sally seizing her at the wounded expression on the older woman's face.

"Was it me?" Sally asked pained. "Did I…did I drive you to do this to yourself?"

"Do you actually care?" Rosie asked anger evident in her voice. "Or do you just want to know to clear your own conscience?"

"That's not what I'm doing," Sally responded to her eldest daughter before turning back to her youngest. "I'm trying to understand. I want to help you Sophie, but how can I when you keep pushing me away…"

Sophie looked at Sian quickly and noted that her head was dropped, her eyes looking at the bed rail before her in contemplation. Sophie wondered her girlfriend was thinking about, wondered what she appeared to be refraining herself from saying.

"Sophie," Sally pressed her voice desperate. "Please, just tell me…."

"She already did," Sian answered for her girlfriend. "She said she didn't try to kill herself…what more do you want?"

"I want to hear her say it," Sally replied curtly.

"Aren't you listening?" Sian asked, her temper flaring.

"I wouldn't bother Sian," Rosie said bluntly. "She only wants to hear one thing…that it was my dad's fault and not hers…."

Sophie looked between Rosie and her mum but kept silent. She sensed that there was some underlying dispute amid the pair of them, something that had happened whilst she'd been unconscious and could not therefore comment on.

"That's not true," Sally chided her eldest daughter.

"Yes it is," Rosie argued. "Ever since you found out that they suspected Sophie of trying to commit suicide, you and my dad have been on a mission to prove each other to blame. You've been behaving like little kids, provoking one another into fights and making the atmosphere even more unbearable than it already was…"

"I'm sorry if it felt that way," Sally apologised, "but, your dad has a lot to answer for. After all, it's his decisions, his choices and his _affair_ that started all of this."

"Maybe," Rosie agreed, "but can't you please just let it go…"

"After everything your dad has done?" Sally scoffed.

"Not even for Sophie?" Sian asked as Rosie dropped her head into her hands in despair.

Sally looked at her youngest daughter who lay still in bed, her eyes sad, and her expression desolate.

"Sophie," Sally sighed reaching out her hand once more. Sophie avoided her touch again, turning her head to the side to look instead upon the face of her girlfriend. "You know that I love you…your dad does too…but, you need to get used to the idea that we're not going to be together anymore. I'm sorry, what he's done is unforgiveable."

"I'm not asking you to forgive him," Sophie replied, finally looking up at her mum.

"Then what are you asking?" Sally asked puzzled.

"You've no idea have you?" Sophie realised, laughing to herself slightly, a sinister sound coming from the brunette's lips which shook Sian to her very core.

"What about?" Sally questioned.

"About you," Sophie said simply, "about what it's been like for me living in that house for the last few months, with _you_."

"I know I've not exactly been the best mum to you lately Sophie…" Sally acknowledged.

"Oh, do you?" Sophie answered rhetorically. "You'd noticed that had you? When exactly was that? Before or after I 'jumped?'"

"Sophie," Sian said quickly in an attempt to stop her girlfriend from saying something she knew she'd regret.

"No Sian, it's alright," Sophie replied. "Seeing as my mum wants to be honest and all…"

Sally looked at her daughter, but said nothing."

"Come on then," Sophie said, her voice breaking slightly. "I thought you wanted to be honest…"

"Alright," Sally relented. "Afterwards…ok? Are you happy?"

Sophie laughed a little, "Ecstatic," she said sarcastically. "I mean, if I'd known all it would take to get your attention was a foray off the church roof, I'd have done it sooner…"

"Don't Soph," Sian said, reaching up to wipe a tear from her girlfriends face.

"No, I mean, it makes sense doesn't it?" Sophie asked through her tears, "You know, to suffer through three months of hell, three months of constant fighting, of being forced to pick sides, of uncertainty and never-ending changes before I finally decided to try and end it all. I'm a right sucker for pain, I am."

"Ok Sophie," Sally said ashamedly. "You've made your point…"

"I'm only just getting started," Sophie went on, the monotonous sound of her heart rate increasing on the monitor above her bed.

She looked at her mum scornfully for a moment and Sally dropped her eyes self-consciously.

"I know that what dad did to you, to _us_, our _family, _was horrible," Sophie finally continued, "the lying and the cheating, how he took your trust and used it to his advantage. I understand that he hurt you, because he hurt me too, but, he's _my dad._"

"You're right he is," Sally agreed. "I'd never make you choose between him and me…"

"You did though didn't you? Sophie replied. "Not in so many words but, you wanted us to choose." Sophie wiped at her face with her right hand, her eyes now swollen from her tears. "You made me feel like a traitor just for wanting him to be around, for wanting to see him. All your snide comments, all the backhanded jibes that I was just supposed to just listen to…to ignore…"

Sophie sniffed, wiping at her nose. Sian offered her a tissue, which she took gratefully.

"He was just as bad as you," Sophie continued. "Making digs…your words hurt you know, not each other, but me," Sophie looked at Rosie who smiled at her sadly, "and Rosie. We were the ones who had to hear them, had to endure them. Even though we were mad at him, we still loved him, just like we love you and it's horrible to hear people attacking the people you love, especially when you can do and say nothing to defend and protect them."

"Why didn't you say something?" Sally asked surprised by her daughters' words.

"Why do you think?" Sophie asked, "I didn't want to hurt you either did I? Didn't want you to think I was taking his side by saying something, because you would have done, wouldn't you?"

Sally didn't say anything, too stunned by her daughters' admission to react.

"It's not your fault," Sophie admitted, her anger dissipating and being replaced with sheer brutal honesty. "It's me…I just….I've been feeling so lost, like….like my life is….like everything…is falling apart….like there's nothing I can do to stop it."

Sian squeezed Sophie's left hand, a comforting reminder that she was still there, beside her, _with her._

"Not just with you and my dad." Sophie went on. "Everything…I don't know what I believe anymore…_who I am anymore…_" she paused momentarily. "I don't know where I'm going to be living, what I'm going to do with the rest of my life…anything."

"I had no idea that you felt like this," Sally confessed. "You could have told me, you know. We could have talked about it."

"It'd only add to your own problems," Sophie said quietly, "and I didn't want to be a burden… then….when everything at college started to coming to a head, I wanted to tell you, I tried…but, there was always something else happening, some other drama that needed to be dealt with."

"You mean me?" Rosie asked her younger sister.

"Sometimes," she admitted, "not always though…"

"You should have made me listen," Sally declared.

"How?" Sophie asked, "I felt like I was screaming but no one could hear a word I was saying."

"I was listening…" Sian said squeezing Sophie's hand.

"I know," she said apologetically, "and I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you, shouldn't have taken my frustrations out on you…it's just…"

"It wasn't me you wanted to notice." Sian finished Sophie's thought. "I understand that Sophie. I've been where you are remember? Well….not exactly here," Sian said smiling as she glanced around the room, "but, I know what it's like to have you parents going through a divorce."

"It was like, the more frustrated and lost that I felt, the more I lashed out at you and I couldn't stop myself, even though I knew that you were only trying to help me." Sophie explained to Sian. "The angrier I got, the more I hurt you, and the more I hated myself because I knew it was all _my _fault."

Sian kissed the back of Sophie's hand which she held in her own.

"It doesn't matter now Sophie," Sian acknowledged. "I know it wasn't your fault…"

"That doesn't excuse it though does it?" Sophie said. "It doesn't make it right."

"Yeah, well…" Sian began. "I forgive you, alright?

Sophie was about to protest but Sian leant over the bed and kissed her tenderly on the lips, preventing her.

"Ugh," Rosie feigned disgust. "Would you two get a room? I haven't eaten yet today but if I had, I'm sure I'd be vomiting into Sophie's sick bowl right now, at that little display of public affection."

Sian pulled back slightly embarrassed, forgetting that the two of them were not alone and that more serious matter were being discussed before they'd become side-tracked. She turned to Sally who was still standing on the opposite side of Sophie's bed.

Sally took a step closer to the bed and reached for Sophie's hand once more, this time however, the youngster didn't move it; instead, she let her mum take it up in her own and squeeze it encouragingly.

"I'm sorry that my behaviour has made you feel so isolated," Sally recognised, "I honestly didn't realise how much the divorce and everything else had been affecting you….I guess I was too wrapped up in my own problems to notice that you were struggling so much. I just chalked it up to teenage rebellion. I should have realised that you're not me, that it's out of character for you to be missing college…."

Sally paused for a moment.

"I don't know how to make it up to you," Sally admitted. "How to start over, but I want to try, ok? I'm going to try and be more sensitive to your feelings about your dad, about everything that's happening…and we'll talk, I promise, properly."

Sally glanced around at Rosie and Sian before looking back to Sophie. 

"If you say that you didn't jump then, I believe you." Sally finally realised. "I mean it Sophie; we'll say no more about it. That's all in the past now. We're going to look to the future…to you coming home and getting back on your feet."

"Thank you," Sophie said gratefully, smiling sadly. "That's all I want….I just want my mum back, that's all."

"Well, I'm here," Sally said, tears getting the better of her as she pulled Sophie once again into an awkward embrace. "I'm right here." She kissed Sophie lightly on the forehead.

"I love you mum," Sophie sighed, inhaling Sally's scent and holding onto her arm tightly. "I didn't mean to get angry earlier…."

"I know," Sally interjected, "but you were right to Sophie." She kissed her daughters forehead again. "I love you too."


	16. Chapter 16

Following Sally and Sophie's brief conversation, the room had fallen into a thoughtful and contemplative silence, each occupant lost in their own thoughts, their own guilt, their own regrets at where they were, what their lives had become. Sophie's words had struck a chord with each of them, had made them realise that, in reality they were all lost, had all forgotten what was important. In their own personal struggles, their own concerns, they'd lost sight of each other. In a time in their lives where everything seemed to be falling apart, when there had been so much change, they should have held onto one another all the more. They hadn't been expecting things to alter, for their lives to be turned upside down, but that didn't justify the behaviour that had followed, from any of them. Nothing is ever constant; life is _always_ changing, fluctuating with every passing second of every day. They should have reacted differently, should have been more open and honest with how they were feeling. They should have talked, should have supported one another, worked through their problems together, instead of fragmenting their lives even further into the separate orbits that they'd come to find themselves in.

Sally was now seated beside Sophie's bed alongside Rosie, who sat quietly on her mother's right; her head bowed low, her gaze focused firmly on the floor. Sally had Sophie's right hand in her own and was playing with it thoughtfully, her eyes watching as the bruised flesh of her youngest daughters' fingers intertwined rhythmically with hers. Sophie watched her mum for a moment, hoping that she would meet her eyes, that they would continue their conversation further. There was still so much that she wanted to say, that _needed_ to be said. Now that she had finally started to open up, started to talk about how she'd been feeling, she didn't want to stop. She was worried that, like so many times before, if they didn't carry on, all her concerns, everything she'd been thinking about and struggling with the last few months, would once again be swept under the rug and forgotten. That something else would happen, and she would be overlooked whilst yet another crisis needed to be dealt with.

Sophie opened her mouth to say something to re-ignite the conversation, to draw her mum's attention back to her and away from the metaphorical hole that her prolonged stare was burning into the back of her bruised hand, but, she didn't. _She couldn't_. It was selfish, Sophie knew that, but, she wished that for once, her mum would take the initiative, would open up the channels of communication between them. Not because she was angry, or upset, but, because she could sense how much Sophie needed to talk, understood her insecurities and wanted to ease them. To make her feel wanted, to reassure her that she was _interested, _that she _cared. _

_She didn't._

Instead, her mum kept looking at their hands entwined together on Sophie's bed, her eyes not lifting once, her thoughts, again, elsewhere.

As though reading Sophie's thoughts, Sian squeezed her girlfriends' left hand comfortingly and the brunette turned to look at her. Sian raised the corner of her mouth into a small smile and winked as Sophie's eyes met her own, an identical smile being reciprocated across her own face at the sight of the blonde. Sophie questioned how she'd ever been so lucky as to have someone like Sian in her life at all, yet alone as her girlfriend. She'd been conscious for little more than an hour but, ever since that moment, the only constant that she'd had, the only person who'd consistently been with her, and would remain by her side long after the others had left, would be Sian, Sophie was certain of it, more than she was certain of anything else in her life at that moment.

Sian leant over the bed rail slightly, running the fingers of her free hand gently over Sophie's temple, caressing her girlfriends' forehead tenderly, soothingly, encouraging her to sleep, to rest and forget about her troubles for a while, to focus on herself for once, on getting better. Sophie closed her eyes at the blonde's touch, her eyelids heavy with a fatigue she'd not realised or acknowledged. Her body craved sleep, the blissful and uncomplicated release of slumber from everything else that was going on around her, a temporary opportunity to forget about the struggles she'd face in her recovery, to escape from her injuries and the reality of her situation.

Sophie opened her eyes again for a moment as she felt the gentle touch of warm, soft lips brush against the skin just above her left eyebrow, a small smile creeping onto her lips contentedly at the sight of Sian hovering above her. Sophie closed her eyes as Sian lingered there for a moment, her right hand smoothing over the brunette locks of Sophie's hair affectionately, tempting her girlfriends' body to finally surrender to the call of sleep.

Sian returned to her seat, her left hand, as always surrounding Sophie's as it lay beside her in the bed. She watched as the pace of her girlfriend's breathing slowed into the steady pace of sleep, her chest rising and sinking rhythmically as she began to doze, her body at last succumbing to the exhaustion it surely felt.

Sian turned towards Sally who was still gazing at her daughter's bruised and battered hand in her own, her eyes refusing to look upon the rest of Sophie's broken body. Sian wanted to say something, wanted to plead with her to talk to Sophie once she woke up but she could see it in her eyes, the reluctance and the hesitance that Sally felt. She'd promised that she'd talk to Sophie. That she would listen to her, but, she didn't want to, not really. Not when it meant having to accept her own part in her daughter's condition, to accept her own shortcomings. Just now, that very moment when Sophie had finally opened up the avenues of communication, had finally shared her feelings, had been the perfect opportunity for Sally to delve deeper into her daughters problems, to really probe her and understand the full details of what she'd been thinking, what she'd been struggling with for the last few months, but she _hadn't_.

Sian tried to convince herself it was because of herself and Rosie being present. That Sally hadn't wanted to discuss things with Sophie whilst they were in the room, but, the more she thought about it, the less she really believed it. Sophie had opened up in front of all three of them, had already started to share her insecurities, her doubts with them. Rosie was her older sister and although they argued, they talked as well, about their parents' divorce, about Sophie's sexuality. She wouldn't have minded Rosie knowing how she was feeling; after all, at this moment in time Sophie was pretty much as exposed and vulnerable as she would ever be, she had nothing left to lose by being honest with them all, _nothing._

Sian turned her attention to Rosie who was watching her mum closely from her position beside her. She'd remained relatively quiet throughout Sophie and Sally's previous conversation and in the silence that had followed, but, as she looked up to meet the blonde's gaze, Sian knew that it'd hadn't been because she didn't care. The look of disappointment on her face at her mum's continued silence, said more than any words could have. She'd been hoping along with Sian and Sophie too, silently urging her mum to say something, _anything_ that would have kept the conversation going, kept Sophie talking.

Rosie opened her mouth to say something to her mum, just at the same moment that Sally finally chose to lift her gaze to the face of her sleeping daughter and, before the dark haired girl could utter a single word, Sally rose from her seat, dropping Sophie's hand onto the bed beside her, before heading out of the room, her hand over her mouth, tears trailing from her eyes. Sian and Rosie exchanged a look before Rosie sighed outwardly and stood from her own seat, following after the older woman, frustration etched on her face.

Sian, her priority clear and undisputed in her mind, remained at Sophie's bed side, her eyes fixed firmly on the girl that she loved, her hand, unwavering from its position around the brunette's as she slept.

-x-

"Mum," Rosie called after Sally as she followed her out of the ICU and into the corridor outside, "wait a minute!"

When Sally didn't stop, Rosie added, "Where are you going?"

The dark haired girl sighed deeply when her mum continued undeterred from her current path and unwilling to pander to Sally's behaviour, she paused where she stood, her voice rising in anger as she shouted down the corridor after the older woman.

"You know what?" Rosie called out vehemently. "You're unbelievable! Sophie's better off without you!"

She paused for a moment.

"We both are!" Rosie yelled violently. "You're selfish, do you know that? I'm ashamed to even call you my mum. All you can think about is yourself. You don't care about Sophie, not really…"

Rosie stopped as her mum came to a halt in the distance, her body poised for a fight, the air between them electrically charged, ignited. Sally turned around slowly to face her daughter, her face swollen with tears, her fists clenched at her sides.

"What's the matter?" Rosie asked scornfully, laughing a little to herself. "Does the truth hurt?"

Sally took a step towards her daughter, her gait strong and determined.

"Shut up," Sally almost growled her voice low as she came to a stop a mere inches from Rosie.

"Why should I?" Rosie asked defiantly.

"You've no idea how I'm feeling, you _silly girl_." Sally replied, her tone icy.

"Oh no, of course not," Rosie said sarcastically, throwing her hands up in the air overdramatically. "I forgot that you're the only person here who cares about Sophie, who's spent the last few weeks worrying themselves sick about her…"

"It's not the same," Sally interceded. "You're not her mum, I am…"

"That doesn't mean that I love her any less!" Rosie almost screamed. "She's my little sister, I love her too!"

"It's not the same," Sally said scathingly. "You couldn't possibly understand what it's like…"

"Oh please!" Rosie laughed. "You're not honestly going to play the doting mother card are you?"

"Until you have children you'll never know how it feels to be a mum Rosie," Sally informed her coolly. "You'd do anything for your kids, _anything_…"

"You know that's interesting," Rosie said feigning contemplation, "only, it seems like the one thing that Sophie wanted in there was to be able to talk to you…" Rosie paused for a moment, gesturing to the corridor that they were standing in emphatically, 'accept, you didn't talk to her did you? You didn't say anything, just, walked or should I say, ran away."

"It's wasn't the right time," Sally defended.

"You're joking right?" Rosie asked seriously. "Please tell me that you're not being serious."

Sally didn't say anything, just continued to look at Rosie who shook her head incredulously.

"Sophie is lying in a hospital bed, having just woken up from a _prolonged_ coma…" Rosie stated brutally. "She could have died because she never felt like it was the 'right time' to talk to you, because you were always busy fighting with dad, or dating Archie, or Jeff, or whatever…"

Rosie took a step towards her mum.

"_Now _is the right time," she said flatly. "Now is the _perfect_ time to talk to her, in fact, if anything, you're _late_."

Rosie let her words sink in for a moment before continuing.

"You _owe_ her mum," Rosie said. "She _needs_ you and if you can't see that, if you didn't see that, then she really is better off without you."

"What did you want me to say?" Sally asked. "What did you expect me to say to her? 'Sophie, I know that you're probably tired and in pain but, let's spend the next hour dragging up and discussing your problems.'"

"That's exactly what I expected you to do," Rosie said simply. "It's what she _wanted_ you to do mum."

"No," Sally disagreed. "Once she's better, once she's home, I'll talk to her then."

"No, you won't," Rosie contested. "There are too many distractions…"

"I'll make time," Sally interjected.

"You mean, like you made time before all this happened?" Rosie asked.

"I tried to talk to her," Sally said defensively.

"Oh yeah," Rosie recalled. "In the spare few minutes you had before work, or right before you were interrupted by a phone call from Jeff, or dad turning up at the house to drop yet another bombshell."

"You know, you're a fine one to talk Rosie," Sally deflected. "You weren't exactly sister of the year."

"You don't think I know that?" Rosie replied angrily. "You don't think I've spent every day since the accident thinking about all the things I should have done but didn't? At least I'm trying! At least I've been here! Where the hell have you been?"

"I have a job Rosie," Sally shouted in response. "I have a mortgage to pay, lawyers' fees. I don't have the luxury of time like you do. I have responsibilities…"

"So what's Sophie then?" Rosie asked. "Or me for that matter? What are we, an inconvenience?"

"You know that you're not." Sally said.

"Didn't you just say you'd do anything for your kids?" Rosie asked.

"I would," Sally said quietly, "but that doesn't change the fact that I have a job."

"Carla would have understood," Rosie argued. "In fact, if I remember correctly, she even told you to take time off, but, you said you'd rather work, that you'd rather keep busy..."

"Is that a crime?" Sally asked. "Every morning I'd wake up and remember what had happened. I'd go to sleep and all I'd see was Sophie, lying ventilated and unconscious in the back of my mind. I just wanted to forget for a moment, to pretend that everything was alright, to not have the constant reminders that I could lose my daughter."

"What if you had?" Rosie asked harshly. "What if Sophie had died and you'd not been here, because you were sat behind a sewing machine?"

"What would you have me do Rosie?" Sally questioned. "Did you want me to spend every waking minute here, sitting beside her?"

Sally paused for a moment.

"She wouldn't even have known I was here," Sally reasoned. "She was completely oblivious to everything around her…"

"You don't know that," Rosie said sadly. "Besides, even if she was, I wasn't mum. I needed you here just as much as Sophie did…"

"Oh I might have known that this was really about you," Sally said. "What's the matter? Are you feeling left out because Sophie's getting all the attention? Are you feeling hard done by?"

"You really don't get it do you?" Rosie asked amazed. "You really are _that_ selfish."

Rosie shook her head astonished.

"You know what?" Rosie said her voice hard. "I'll talk to you around Sophie; I'll be civil to you for her sake, but, otherwise, stay the hell away from me. I want nothing more to do with you, do you understand? Not until you swallow your pride and start acting like the parent you're _supposed_ to be."

Rosie turned on her heels and began making her way back towards the ICU, Sally watching after her, her mouth agape with surprise at her eldest daughters' words, her public dismissal.

-x-

Sian checked her watch, whilst she sat with a watchful eye over Sophie as she slept, as the seconds that marked both Sally's and Rosie's absence from the room ticked on. It'd been forty-five minutes since they'd left and there was no sign of either of them returning imminently. Sian couldn't help but wonder what they were talking about. She hoped that they were making amends, that the distance that had become so palpable between them since Sophie's accident was finally being rectified so that they could band together to help encourage and support her girlfriend through her recovery. It was no secret that Rosie and Sally's relationship had been strained. They were both as stubborn as each other, and Sian was left with no doubt where Sophie got that unfaltering determination from.

Sophie stirred in the bed slightly, pulling Sian from her thoughts and causing her to look back at her girlfriend's form. Sophie's eye's fluttered open and drowsily, she scanned the room, her expression registering momentary incomprehension before the memory of what had happened returned, reality once again coming back to her. Sophie's sleep filled eyes eventually found the blue of Sian's and the blonde smiled warmly in acknowledgement, kissing the back of her girlfriends hand reassuringly.

"You're awake?" Sian asked her voice soft. "You look tired still babe; you should try and get some more sleep. I'll stay here with you."

Sophie smiled in response to Sian's words but shook her head slightly in protest.

"Are you feeling ok," Sian asked worriedly, when Sophie didn't say anything.

Sophie nodded her head slightly, grimacing as she did so from the pain.

"I've just got a killer headache," Sophie admitted, her eyes fixed firmly on Sian.

"I'm not surprised," Sian said light-heartedly in an attempt to bolster Sophie's mood. "I hear falling off a building and needing your skull cracked open will do that to you."

"It's funny," Sophie started.

"What is?" Sian asked when she didn't continue.

"I always thought I was pretty thick headed." Sophie said simply, trying to joke.

"Well I guess maybe there's some brain's in there after all," Sian replied smiling. "Who'd have thought it huh?"

Sophie glanced around the room once again as though realising something was missing.

"Where are my mum and Rosie?" She asked Sian after a moment's thought, "Have they gone?"

"No," Sian replied, "they've just, stepped out for a bit, that's all. They needed some fresh air…"

"You're a horrible liar," Sophie commented, closing her eyes for a minute.

"No I'm not," Sian protested laughing.

"Yeah, you are…" Sophie replied. "What are they fighting about this time?"

"Who said they're fighting?" Sian asked surprised.

"Sian I'm a lot of things, stupid is probably one of them, but give me some credit…I saw how Rosie was with mum before. How long have they been like this?" Sophie asked.

"Honestly?" Sian asked sighing.

Sophie nodded her head, wincing once again.

"Pretty much since the night of the accident." Sian admitted. "They've barely said two words to each other."

"What about you?" Sophie asked.

"What about me?" Sian countered.

"Have you been speaking to my mum?" Sophie questioned.

Sian didn't say anything and Sophie read the unspoken answer from her expression.

"Sian?" She probed. "Tell me the truth…please. I want to hear you say it."

"Sophie, it doesn't matter." Sian tried. "It's all in the past now…forget about it."

"What aren't you telling me?" Sophie asked concern evident on her face.

"It's nothing really…" Sian began.

"I don't believe you," Sophie disagreed.

"It's just…" Sian hesitated, finding it difficult to avoid Sophie's pleading eyes. "I moved out of the house that's all."

"Why?" Sophie asked more calmly then Sian had anticipated.

"It just, it was uncomfortable there without you. It didn't feel right." Sian admitted.

"Did she say something to you?" Sophie asked, sensing there was more to the story then Sian was telling her.

"No," Sian said almost too quickly.

"Promise me," Sophie pressed.

"Sophie…" Sian protested.

"Sian if she didn't say anything then, _promise me_," Sophie said.

Sian looked at Sophie for a minute, debating the right thing to do. She didn't want to lie to her, she'd had enough lies, enough games to last her a lifetime, but, on the other hand, her relationship with her parents was tenuous as it were. She didn't want to jeopardise it any further. Sophie needed her mum and dad right now, after all, wasn't that what all this had been about.

"I can't do that," Sian finally settled on.

"You're not going to tell me?" Sophie asked.

"I will," Sian promised, "just, not now Sophie alright? It's not important."

"It is to me Sian," Sophie disagreed.

"Yeah, well," Sian said playing with Sophie's hand in her own. "You're important to me and I'm not going to tell you. It'll only upset you and I don't want you worry about things that really don't matter alright. I've forgotten about it, so you should as well, at least, for the time being any way."

Sian paused for a moment to look at Sophie, silently begging with the brunette not to push the subject any further.

"Do you trust me?" Sian asked her after a moment.

"Yeah," Sophie answered honestly. "You know I do."

"Then please, just let it go for now." Sian responded. "Please?"

"Alright," Sophie agreed. "For now…"

Sian leaned over the bed and kissed Sophie gently on the lips. She felt Sophie's right hand clasp around her jumper as she tried to pull away and looked down at it, her heart sinking at the desperation in her gesture.

"Sophie…" Sian said sadly as she noticed the tears on her girlfriends' face.

Sophie tried to laugh at the situation but couldn't hide her pain at her predicament.

"I can't even hug you," she sniffed. "How pathetic am I huh?"

"Soph," Sian said brushing the side of her girlfriends' face with her hand. "You're not pathetic."

"You know sometimes I wonder what our lives would be like if I'd never kissed you that day." Sophie said to herself more than anyone.

"Don't say that," Sian said hurt.

"Come on Sian," Sophie explained. "Look at what's happened…look at everything we've lost. What about your dad? Don't you miss him?"

"Yeah I miss him," Sian replied honestly, "but, Sophie I don't regret anything that we've been through. I mean, look at what we've got, what we've gained…look at what we have. If my dad doesn't agree with that then it's his problem. I'm not ashamed of who I am. I feel more comfortable, more myself with you then I ever have…I love you."

"Maybe the Pastor was right," Sophie continued, ignoring Sian's words, deep in thought. "Maybe God was testing us and when we ignored his teachings, his words to act on our own desires….look what happened…"

"Sophie, nothing that's happened is because of us," Sian disagreed. "Even if we'd stayed friends, if we'd not gotten together, the tram crash would still have happened, your dad would still have had an affair with Molly…hey," Sian said placing her hand beneath Sophie's chin and lifting her head up so that their eyes met. "Listen to me, none of this is your fault, ok?"

"Yeah but Sian…" Sophie began.

"No, you listen to me Sophie Webster," Sian interrupted. "You are one of the kindest, most thoughtful people I have ever met. You're strong and determined, _you're the reason we're together_. You're funny, and gorgeous and amazing. Don't you _ever_ doubt that. _Not ever. _Alright? Don't you ever change who you are, not for anyone, not even me, because I love _you_. Everything about _you_. Everything that you _are._"

Sophie's tears were coming fast now, her grief, her _guilt_ almost too much for her to bear.

"Sian I just want everything to go back to the way it was," Sophie sobbed. "I want us to be happy again, for my parents to be happy again…"

"I know," Sian soothed her girlfriend, resting her forehead against Sophie's and closing her eyes in silent prayer. "I want that for you too. Shhh." Sian said, kissing Sophie on the forehead, her own eyes threatening to spill over with their own tears as her girlfriend cried into her. "It'll be alright…..everything will be alright, you'll see."

Even as she said the words however, Sian doubted the truth in them. She glanced in the direction of the door, wondering once again, where Sally and Rosie were.


	17. Chapter 17

Rosie ran her hand through her hair as she made her way back towards the ICU and Sophie. Her high heels tapped rhythmically against the hard tiles of the hospital corridor as she walked and the sound of each step pierced through her, gradually adding to the headache which had already started pressing at her temples. It had been over an hour since she'd followed her mum out of Sophie's room, since she'd finally had the chance to voice some of the things she'd wanted to say to her out loud.

Instead of returning to her sister's bedside immediately, Rosie had found herself continuing past the entrance to the ICU until she was outside in the fresh spring air, the unseasonably warm sun blazing down upon her. She'd walked around the outside of the hospital building, finally coming to a stop at the ambulance bay where she'd found Sian slumped all those days ago, on the night of Sophie's accident. Rosie had sat down against the solid metal, rested her head back against the structure as she had done previously. She 'd closed her eyes and sighed to herself, recollecting that fateful evening, the conversation she'd had with Sian about the personal guilt she'd felt for not knowing more about her sister's life, for, as always, being too consumed in her own drama to notice the fact that her little sister had been struggling.

That night, Rosie had vowed to make a change, had promised herself that if Sophie came through this alright, if she managed to make it back to them, then she would strive to be a better sister, a better _person._ So far, Rosie felt she'd lived up to that promise. She'd barely left Sophie's bedside in the last fifteen days, had taken Sian in, offering her refuge when she'd felt alienated at her mum's house. She'd stood by her through her despair, comforting and supporting the younger girl in her sister's absence. That was just the beginning though. Rosie knew that.

In the coming weeks, months even, Sophie would need her more than ever. Would need her to be there, to help encourage her through a difficult rehabilitation process, to help keep her determined and steadfast when she'd become frustrated and irritated with herself during what could be slow progress.

As she'd sat in the ambulance bay, Rosie had wondered how now, when Sophie was awake and her prognosis was good, things could still be falling apart, how her own relationship with her mother could be so tenuous. Fifteen days ago, everything had seemed so hopeless, _she'd_ felt _so hopeless_. All Rosie had been able to do was sit and wait, and _pray._ Rosie would never admit it, not out loud, not to Sophie, but, that night, she'd asked God for a miracle, had pleaded silently with someone who she'd never been convinced existed, to prove her wrong and save her sister.

_He had_.

At least, _something_ had, Rosie had thought to herself as she'd sat in that familiar spot. Something had pulled Sophie through this, had allowed her to wake up, physically damaged but thankfully, cognitively intact. They should be celebrating, all of them, together. Not rehashing the same arguments they'd been having for the last two weeks, blaming each other, separating themselves all further from one another. However, that's what was happening. Only a little while before, her mum had apologised to Sophie, had promised her youngest daughter that she'd be there for her from now on, that they'd talk properly about how she was feeling and now…now her mum had abandoned her once again, had squandered the opportunity to get to the bottom of things. Once again, her mum had proved just how selfish she was, focusing on her own pain, her own feelings and guilt at the expense of Sophie's.

Rosie knew it was hard, understood the pain her mum must be experiencing at seeing Sophie so hurt and confused, _broken_, because she felt it too. It was a pain so crippling that her chest physically ached each time her eyes looked over her sisters broken form, that her gut wrenched every time she saw Sophie wince, or heard the sadness in her voice, but, Rosie had made a promise to herself that, no matter how hard it was for her, how much it hurt her, she wouldn't run away, she wouldn't keep her distance. She was in this for the long haul and if there was one thing she's make sure Sophie understood. It was that.

So, after collecting her thoughts and having some time to contemplate everything that had happened this morning, Rosie had begun to make her way back towards her sisters room, towards the ICU which had become so familiar to her over the last fifteen days that she feared its' appearance would remain permanently etched in her memory.

Rosie paused slightly at the entrance to the intensive care unit, her hand poised in front of the doors as she sighed to herself. She'd debated how she would explain to Sophie where her mum had gone, what had happened between them in the corridor once they'd left her room and, although she hated to lie to her, she'd decided not to be honest, that the truth would only hurt Sophie further. At the moment, Rosie detested her mum, but, she wouldn't condemn her if it meant hurting Sophie. She'd decided to make something up, had settled on telling Sophie that her mum was talking to the doctors, was filling in some paperwork and would be back later. It would give her mum some time to come to her senses, to realise her insolence and return without Sophie being any wiser. Rosie knew it would give her mum an opportunity, a chance that she didn't deserve but, it would be worth it to protect her sister from the truth.

Finally, after composing herself and mentally preparing for the lie, the charade she was about to execute, Rosie pushed open the door to the intensive care unit, stepping over the threshold and pausing suddenly at the sight of Sian standing alone, her arms crossed over her chest, her back towards the ICU entrance as she waited outside Sophie's room.

Rosie's heart leaped into her throat worriedly as her mind conjured up all sorts of horrible scenarios where Sophie's condition had taken a turn for the worst and she quickly stepped over to where the blonde was standing, placing a frantic hand on her shoulder and causing Sian to look in her direction.

"Sian what's going on?" Rosie asked anxiously as she tried to read the younger girls expression.

"What do you mean?" Sian asked slightly confused.

"Why are you out here?" Rosie clarified. "Is Sophie alright?"

"Yeah," Sian replied reassuringly. "The nurses are just sorting out a few things so they've asked me to step outside."

"Oh thank God," Rosie sighed relieved. "I was worried something bad had happened."

Sian raised her eyebrow and gestured around them at the ICU. "Something bad did happen Rosie…"

Rosie waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, you know what I mean Sian, _since _I'd left earlier."

"No everything's fine," Sian reiterated. "Well, actually, everything is _not_ fine, but…well, you know."

Rosie smiled sadly.

"How is she holding up?" Rosie asked the blonde.

"She blames herself," Sian informed her girlfriend's older sister. "She thinks everything that's happened is because of her."

"You mean the accident?" Rosie questioned.

"No, I mean _everything _Rosie." Sian explained, "Your dad's affair, the tram crash, the fighting, _everything."_

"That's ridiculous," Rosie replied in disbelief. "Why would she think that?"

"I don't know," Sian responded. "I think she believes that God is punishing her for being gay, that everything that's happened is because we're together." Sian paused for a moment, a sad expression on her face. "You should have heard her Rosie, I honestly think that she truly considers herself to blame."

"You told her it wasn't though, right?" Rosie asked.

"Of course," Sian affirmed, "but I don't think she accepts it, she feels guilty…"

Sian looked around the ICU as if realising for the first time since her return that Rosie was alone.

"Where's your mum?" Sian asked a questioning look on her face.

Rosie dropped her gaze to the floor telling Sian everything she needed to know about her mum's whereabouts.

"You're kidding?" Sian said in surprise. "She's gone. After everything she just said in there, just promised to Sophie she's left?"

Rosie nodded her head sadly. "I was going to come straight back up here and tell her but, I needed to clear my head first…"

"Rosie you can't tell her," Sian mused quietly, "it'll kill her."

"I know," Rosie agreed, "that's why I went for a walk first, I was trying to decide what to do."

"Sophie's already suspicious," Sian informed the older girl. "She was asking me what you two were fighting about and how long it'd been going on."

"What did you tell her?" Rosie queried.

"Nothing," Sian replied. "I just didn't deny that she was right."

"Did you tell her what mum had said to you?" Rosie questioned worriedly.

"No," Sian defended quickly. "We agreed that she doesn't need to know, not yet anyway."

"Good," Rosie said nodding her head in acquiescence, "It wouldn't be a good idea to tell her, especially if she's already blaming her sexuality for everything that's happened."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sian asked a little wounded.

"Oh no, I didn't mean it like that," Rosie answered. "I mean, if she knew mum had blamed you for what happened, had accused you and your relationship of leading to this, to Sophie missing the first month of college and getting behind, for her losing her faith etc...Well, I just don't think it'd help matters. That's all, especially because the two of you and your relationship has no bearing on anything that's happened." Rosie saw the uncertainty in Sian's eyes and added, "you need to believe that Sian, even if Sophie doesn't alright? You _know_ that none of this has anything to do with you. Trust that."

"I do," Sian said nodding her head hesitantly and then more firmly. "I do," she repeated in confidence.

"Sian," Rosie started placing a hand on the younger girls shoulder comfortingly before the sound of the door to Sophie's room opening interrupted their conversation and Denise appeared from behind it.

"She's all yours," Denise said smiling at the pair of them and gesturing for them into the room.

Rosie smiled back at the nurse gratefully and led Sian over the threshold, her hand in the small of the blonde's back.

"Hey," Rosie said in greeting as she leant over the bed rail to kiss her younger sister on the forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm starving," Sophie replied, frowning slightly as her stomach protested as if on cue.

Denise laughed jovially. "I'll see what I can do," she promised before heading out of the room and leaving the three youngsters' alone.

"Well I'm not surprised," Rosie said seriously. "You haven't eaten in like….two weeks. I'm surprised you've not wasted away yet…"

Rosie paused awkwardly as she took in her sisters' frail and emaciated appearance, the stark realisation that she was in fact wasting away hitting her hard.

"Ugh," Rosie tried to cover the Freudian slip.

"It's alright Rosie," Sophie said sadly, taking her sisters hand in her right one. "I guess I look pretty bad right? You don't need to pretend."

"It's not that," Rosie said looking to Sian, "it's just, I don't think I'd realised just how much weight you'd lost, that's all."

"At least I've got an excuse to eat whatever I want now though," Sophie replied light-heartedly, trying to ease her sisters' self-deprecation. "I don't have to worry about watching my weight for a while."

"Exactly," Sian said enthusiastically as she perched herself on the side of Sophie's bed where Denise had left the rail down. She took her girlfriend's left hand in her own as normal and felt the brunette try to squeeze it tightly in her own, despite only managing a feeble attempt due to the weakness which remained in it.

Sian raised the corner of her mouth in a half smile as Sophie met her eyes.

"I'll get you next time," Sophie tried to joke, "just you wait, in a week or so I'll be able to squeeze your hand so hard it'll break your fingers."

"I'll look forward to it," Sian laughed and turned to look at Rosie who was smiling at the pair of them.

"So…" Sophie began tentatively looking at her older sister. "Where have you been? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," Rosie said dropping her gaze to Sophie's hand in her own before throwing a meaningful look at Sian. "I just went to call Jason that's all."

Sophie looked between Sian and Rosie, instinctively knowing that the two of them were keeping something from her.

"Where is mum?" Sophie pressed.

Rosie met her sister's gaze squarely.

"She's talking to the doctors," she said steadily, assuredly. "There was some paperwork which she needed to fill out now that you're awake."

Sian looked at Rosie in surprise at how easily the lie had come to the older girls' lips. Even though the blonde knew the truth, even she struggled to detect the untruth in Rosie's words and after chancing a glance at Sophie, she knew that she too believed them.

"It's nothing important," Rosie said shrugging it off. "Just something about preferences for where you have rehabilitation once you're a bit better and signing some consent forms I think."

"Oh," Sophie said simply. "Ok…did she say how long it'll take?"

"Not too long," Rosie said struggling to keep a straight face at the astonished expression on Sian's features, "but now that you're awake, I think that the police wanted to talk to her about being able to speak to you…she said she's going to tell them you're not ready yet, that you can't remember…it's one of the reasons that she wanted to speak to the doctors."

Sian gave Rosie a questioning look just before Sophie turned her attention to her girlfriend and the older raven haired shrugged in response, a surprised expression coming over her own face and telling the blonde that she didn't know where the lie had come from either.

Sophie tried to sit up a bit higher in the bed and Sian moved around to help her girlfriend just as Denise re-entered the room carrying a red tray with a plate and smaller bowls littering its' surface.

"Here we go," Denise said, pulling Sophie's table over the bed and placing the tray in front of her. "Its' hospital food so, it's pretty disgusting, but, after fifteen days of a purely liquid diet," Denise continued pointing to the nasogastric tube in Sophie's nostril. "I bet it'll be the best meal you've had in a while."

Sian placed a hand on Sophie's shoulder as Denise lifted off the metal lid covering a plate filled with mash potato and some mushy peas.

"No fish," Sophie asked the nurse smiling slightly.

"Maybe later," Denise answered apologetically. "I'm afraid that its' pureed diet only until your tracheostomy comes out tomorrow. That means mash, mushy peas, jelly and ice cream only today."

"That's better than nothing," Rosie tried enthusiastically.

"Its fine with me," Sophie said sincerely. "I'm so hungry that any food is better than no food."

"Well," Denise replied frowning slightly. "You haven't tasted it yet."

Sophie went to lift her right hand to pick up her fork, unable to move her left off the bed and winced at the pain in her shoulder.

"Hmm," Denise frowned sadly, making a move towards the bed to help but stopping short when Sian picked up the fork for her girlfriend and started scooping up a small amount of mash potato onto the utensil.

Sophie looked between the offered food and Sian torn. She was so hungry, yet, she felt useless not being able to even feed herself and she worried that Sian felt obligated to help her.

Sensing Sophie's struggle, Denise stepped forward slightly.

"You don't have to do that Sian," Denise prompted, gesturing for the fork. "That's what I'm here for."

Sian looked at Sophie sadly, "you don't want me to…" she asked, letting the question trail off.

"It's not that," Sophie tried to explain, "it's just…you don't have to…you know, if you don't want to…"

"I want to," Sian replied honestly. "For fifteen days I've not been able to do anything at all to help but wait…now I can do something and…I want to…"

Sophie looked between Sian and Denise for a moment.

"Are you sure? Sian it's not very nice for you…having to feed me and look after…."

Before Sophie could say anything else Sian leant forward and kissed the brunette deeply cutting off her protests almost immediately. Rosie smiled to herself before glancing at the nurse to her right who was also grinning at the exchange in front of her.

Sian pulled away to look at Sophie who was opening her eyes, a surprised expression on her face.

"Sian," she started breathily, her chest still heaving slightly from the kiss.

"Sophie," Sian said exasperated, "stop arguing and just…eat your dinner, alright?"

"Yeah Sophie," Rosie laughed. "I mean, you might as well have dinner now that you've already eaten dessert right?"

Sian's cheeks flushed slightly at Rosie words and the raven haired girl winked at the blonde playfully.

"Rosie," Sophie managed to exclaim just before Sian sighed and pushed the fork of mash potato into her mouth.

Sophie chewed on it for a moment, a disapproving look on her face which didn't last before swallowing the potato down in a hard gulp.

"Well?" Denise asked.

"My throat feels like I'm chewing on razor blades." Sophie admitted.

"It'll get better," Denise promised. "It's just from the intubation and disuse. The more you eat the less painful it'll be."

Sian scooped up some more mash potato on the fork and held it in front of Sophie's mouth. "Do you want some more or am I going to have to kiss you again?"

"Well…" Sophie said feigning contemplation playfully.

"Ugh," Sian said mocking discontentment before feeding Sophie another spoonful. "Just…eat your mash potato."

Sophie smiled as she chewed on the pureed mash once again as the others watched her force it down.

"Ok, well I can see that I'm not needed here at the moment." Denise said kindly. "I'll be outside writing notes if you need me."

"Thanks," Sophie said gratefully as watched Denise approach the door to her room to come face to face with Kevin. "Dad?" Sophie asked a voice catching slightly at the sight of her father standing on the threshold and watching the scene before him, tears in his eyes.

"Sophie," he said coming into the room and approaching the bed quickly as Denise watched. He wrapped his arms around his daughter and Sian placed the fork on the tray beside Sophie's dinner plate. "I'm so glad you're awake," he said crying as he kissed her firmly on the forehead and pulling her in close to him once more. "I love you so much, you know that right? I was so worried about you."

"Dad I think you're suffocating her," Rosie said worriedly.

Kevin pulled away concerned. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"No it's alright," Sophie said grasping at his sleeve with her right hand and urging him back towards her, tears in her own eyes now. Kevin wrapped her up in his arms once more; planting soft kisses on the top of her head.

"Don't you ever leave me," he said kissing her again, his tears coming hard and fast now. "Ok? I couldn't bear it if I ever lost you. You're my little girl; you always will be, no matter what happens. I promise you, I'm going to look after you alright?"

"Dad, I'm so sorry," Sophie sobbed into Kevin's chest sadly.

"Shh," Kevin comforted his daughter. "Don't worry about that, all that matters is that you're ok now, that you're safe. You're safe now….I promise…I'm not going anywhere."


	18. Chapter 18

For a while Kevin just held his daughter in his arms, allowing her to sob gently against his chest, his heart breaking each time he felt her body shudder with the force of her anguish, her tears. He caressed the side of her face softly with his hand, wiping away a stray tear as it escaped down her cheek with the pad of his thumb. He sighed to himself in an attempt to stem his own crying, kissing Sophie's forehead lightly as he did so, his lips lingering there as he felt her body convulse in another wave of emotion.

Finally, Kevin pulled his head back to look at his youngest daughter properly. He smiled as he met her eyes, his arms still firmly in position around her shoulders. Slowly Kevin wiped away another tear from her cheek before kissing her once again just above her left eyebrow, showing his relief, his happiness at her recovery, at her being awake in the only way that he could think of in that moment. Everything Kevin had wanted to say to her, everything that he'd wanted to apologise to her for, had evaporated from his mind the moment he'd entered the room, the moment that he'd seen her crystal blue eyes looking over at him. He was overcome with such a feeling of joy in that instant that he thought his heart would burst, that his knees would buckle beneath him. However, they hadn't and now he was here, holding his youngest daughter in his arms after fifteen days of worrying, of waiting, of scrutinizing his own actions, living with his own regrets. After all that, he was here, with her, his little girl, and now that he had her once again, he was reluctant to ever let her go.

Moments passed, first seconds, and then minutes until finally, Denise cleared her throat from the doorway where she stood, the same content smile on her face that she always wore.

Kevin wiped at his eyes embarrassed as he turned his attention to the scrub clad nurse, laughing to himself slightly as he realised the irrationality of the gesture.

"I'm sorry," he apologised quickly to the nurse, releasing Sophie a little from his grasp and placing a hand on Rosie's shoulder as she sat beside him.

"Don't apologise," Denise said with understanding. "You have nothing to apologise for. Its days like today that remind me why I love my job so much. Not everyone gets to have the happy reunion that you are."

Kevin looked back at Sophie who was watching him, a small smile on her face before returning his attention to the nurse.

"So is everything alright?" He asked anxiously. "I mean, there's no compl…."

"Everything is great," Denise reassured him quickly. "We're hoping to de-cannulate the tracheostomy tomorrow and all Sophie's wounds are healing nicely."

"So there's no lasting damage…" Kevin questioned. "She'll be ok…"

"Sophie's left hand has been weakened quite significantly by the head injury she sustained," Denise informed him. "However, Dr Trevelyan is optimistic that with physiotherapy there'll be no permanent disability."

Denise paused for a moment to look at Sophie who was resting her head contentedly against her father's chest as she listened.

"Sophie was very lucky," she said, returning her attention to Kevin. "It looks like she's got someone up there watching over her." She finished gesturing towards the ceiling suggestively. "It's not every day that someone sustains the injuries that she has and lives to tell the tale."

"I guess all that praying you did paid off," Kevin said kissing Sophie once again on the forehead and squeezing her shoulders gently so as not to hurt her. "I owe that God of yours my eternal thanks for seeing you through all this."

Sophie shared a meaningful look with Sian who was watching her girlfriend closely, her hand resting gently on the brunette's leg as she sat next to her on the edge of the hospital bed. Sian dropped her gaze to the floor uneasily as Sophie looked back at her dad and replied 'Yeah…I guess."

Rosie frowned as she watched the scene before her, the stolen look between her sister and Sian piquing her interest as she read more from it then Sophie might have intended to be seen.

"I'll give you some time to get reacquainted," Denise offered, throwing one last kind smile to those in the room before turning to leave, closing the door quietly behind her as she disappeared through it.

Kevin sighed once more, turning his attention back to his youngest daughter in the bed beside him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her, concern evident in his voice as he looked Sophie over properly for the first time since his arrival. "I came as soon as I heard…I was…I was out on a breakdown and I just…I told them I had to go." He explained laughing to himself, his mood still buoyed by Sophie regaining consciousness.

"I'm ok," Sophie said quietly, her voice hoarse from the tears she'd shed. "I've got a headache, and my arm hurts when I move it…." Sophie paused for a moment as if considering whether or not to continue. "Actually," she began, finally willing to admit the truth, "I'm not really feeling all that great…in fact…I feel awful dad…my chest is tight and it hurts when I breathe too deeply, my right leg itches like I've got fleas or something, and I'm tired dad…I'm…I'm really tired. I just, I want to go home. I want to be in my own bed and I want to be ok, I want to be well again…I don't…I don't want to be in here."

Kevin smiled sadly at his daughter's words, his eyebrows furrowing at her obvious misery.

"Oh Soph," he breathed taking her right hand in his own and squeezing it comfortingly. He glanced at Rosie who was watching him expectantly from beside him. "I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling, I just….it's going to be a while before you can come home…you've been through a lot…your body, it needs time to heal…_you_ need time to heal."

"I don't want to be here alone," Sophie said tears once again threatening to spill from her eyes. "I don't want to be alone anymore; I want you…and I want mum…_please_…can't you stay with me, just for a night…_please_…"

"Hey," Kevin soothed his youngest, caressing her head softly as he dropped his chin gently on top of her head, mindful of her craniotomy scar. "Of course I will…I'll…I'll have a talk to the doctors' ok? We'll see what we can sort out."

"What about Jack?" Rosie asked her dad, reluctant to hope that at least one of her parents had gotten it right.

"I phoned your granddad when the hospital called," Kevin replied placing a hand on Rosie's shoulder. "He and Pam are going to pick Jack up from the crèche later and look after him at their house for a bit."

"He is?" Sophie asked lifting her gaze up to her dad's.

"Yeah," Kevin confirmed. "He'll be well looked after there and you need me right now…I know I haven't exactly been the best dad recently Soph," Kevin paused to glance between his two daughters before continuing, "to either of you, but, I promise, that's all going to change from now on…" He kissed Sophie on the forehead lightly, pulling her into his chest once more. "We're going to talk about things, good and bad, ok? No more keeping things bottled up, it's not good for anyone. If I don't listen to you or you feel like I am brushing you off, then…" Kevin laughed to himself, "then, I don't know, shout at me, alright? Scream at me if you have to."

"Dad," Rosie began but Kevin stopped her short by putting up his hand.

"Please Rosie, let me finish ok? I'm trying to apologise here, to both of you…and, it's hard because I'm ashamed of how I've acted, at what my actions have put our family through, have put you girls through. My behaviour over the last few months, well…there's no excuse for it. I wasn't there for you like I should have been and I didn't know what was going on in your lives, how you were feeling about the divorce. I was just, too caught up in my own selfishness, my own grief at losing my family, the anger I felt towards myself because I'd been so stupid as to risk the people that I care most about in the world that…" Kevin sighed deeply, "well, that I lashed out at you both, at your mum, and at you as well Sian."

Kevin paused for a moment to compose his thoughts before continuing.

"I'm so sorry. I have no one to blame for what happened except myself," Kevin said shaking his head a little in reprimand. "I made a choice and it was the wrong one. I risked everything I love and care about for something that was…well, that ultimately wasn't worth the risk."

Kevin turned to Sophie once again.

"Nothing was worth the possibility of losing you Soph," Kevin carried on sorrowfully before turning to Rosie, "and I know that I've not exactly been here for you over the last couple of weeks Rosie, I just…I hope that you can forgive me, that we can all put the past behind us and move forward, together. Whatever it takes to make sure that we don't end up back here again…"

Kevin rubbed at the tear that had escaped from his eye unbidden, the painful reality of the last few weeks hitting him with a clarity that was like no other. "I couldn't go through this again…I can't…." Kevin felt Rosie's hand wrap itself around his free one in support and he turned to smile at his daughter sadly.

Rosie returned the gesture, turning up the corner of her mouth up into a half smile, nodding her head in agreement with her dad's words.

"The last few weeks have been awful," Rosie said her voice catching slightly as she felt the imminent arrival of her own tears in the corners of her eyes. "Just, sitting here and waiting for things to change…knowing that…that there was nothing that we could do except be here and hope for the best." Rosie looked at their entwined hands before continuing. "All I wanted was for you to be here dad, to tell me that everything was going to be ok, that Sophie was going to be ok…" Rosie swallowed hard, her voice thick with emotion. "Sophie is getting better," Rosie went on, looking at her sister and smiling, "She's awake, and as much as I hate to admit it, I think that we've been given the opportunity for a second chance, to start over…" Rosie squeezed her dad's hand and stood up from the chair to wrap her arms around his neck. "So, I think that we should use it…I love you dad."

Kevin titled his head up and kissed Rosie softly on the cheek.

"I love you too Rosie," he said in reply before kissing Sophie on the cheek and saying, "You too Sophie, more than you'll ever know."

"I know dad," Sophie said, nestling into his chest further. "I'm so sorry for what happened, for putting you all through this."

"What happened Sophie?" Kevin probed gently closing his eyes in fear of her answer. "What were you doing on that roof?"

"I don't know," Sophie admitted tearfully. "It's like I told mum, I…I can't remember…I just…all I remember was that you'd come around to tell us that you'd sold the house…and then, I don't know…it just, it felt like I was losing everything…that my whole world was falling apart."

"Sophie…it's just a house," Kevin replied thoughtfully. "It doesn't mean anything…I'd still be your dad, we'd still have been family…"

"It meant something to me," Sophie said, her voice small. "It was my home, _our home._ It might not have always been happy dad, but, it was important to me…"

"Why?" Kevin asked kindly, happy that his daughter was finally opening up to him.

"It'll sound stupid," Sophie replied embarrassed at her own thoughts.

"No it won't," Kevin said hugging Sophie in an attempt to encourage her to continue.

"It's just," Sophie begun, "I don't know, I kind of hoped that, if we still had the house, there was still a chance for you and mum to get back together…that if it was sold, well, then it meant that things were actually final, that we wouldn't be a family again."

"Oh Soph," Kevin sighed kissing her forehead once again. "We'll always be your family, nothing will ever change that. Me and your mum might not be together but, nothing will ever change the fact that we're your parents. We'll always have you and Rosie to be thankful for, as common ground…we're tied to each other forever because of you girls, maybe not in the way we were before but…as parents."

Sophie shook her head self-deprecatingly.

"I know that," she cried, "and I understand that, but, I don't know…with everything else going on it just seemed like the last straw…I felt like I was drowning and…I was confused about who I was…"

"Sophie," Kevin said sadly, hurt that his daughter had questioned herself because of him. "You are the same person that you've always been. Me and your mum separating, it doesn't alter that…"

"Yeah but it does," Sophie said, "or at least it felt like it should." Sophie paused for a moment, trying to find the best way to explain how she felt.

"You've always been my parents," Sophie continued, "and so much of who I am is because of you, because of how you raised me…"

"I don't think that we can take credit for you Sophie…" Kevin interrupted. "You've always known who you are, you've always been grounded and although you went through the normal phases that other children do, you've turned into this amazing women right before my eyes." Kevin smiled at his daughter. "You're kind Sophie, you're smart and you're beautiful. You put other people before yourself and you follow your heart regardless of what other people might think or say….I am _so _proud of you for being the person that you choose to be…because you're that person despite some of the things that me and your mum have done. Don't let my mistakes make you change that."

"What if this is my fault though?" Sophie cried. "What if everything that happened with you and mum is because of me, because of my relationship with Sian? I know it was stressful…maybe it made you argue…"

"Hey," Kevin soothed his daughter. "Don't you ever think that, alright? It didn't…what happened between me and your mum was because of me, no one else."

"Well, maybe Molly." Rosie said to no one in particular.

Kevin threw Rosie a meaningful look.

"Sorry," she said apologetically. "Habit, I suppose."

"Sophie thinks that everything that's happened is because she's gay," Sian admitted squeezing Sophie's hand. "She thinks that God is punishing her, for going against his rules…."

"What?" Kevin said in disbelief as Sophie half-heartedly protested "Sian…"

"Sophie…." Kevin started but soon stopped uncertain what to say to comfort and reassure his daughter that here sexuality was not the root of their family problems.

He looked to Sian for a moment, and smiled inwardly as he saw the look of adoration on her face as she watched his daughter, remembered the devotion that she'd showed as she'd sat vigil at her bedside for the last two weeks.

"Sophie," Kevin began again, "God is not punishing you for anything…don't you remember when we found out that your mum was going to be alright, that the cancer hadn't spread?"

Sophie shook her head and Kevin continued.

"I asked you why God gave her cancer in the first place, why he made people suffer…do you remember?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah," Sophie admitted, remembering the conversation. "You got angry with him, said he was playing with people, that he should have made us all better versions of ourselves."

"Right," Kevin said. "Do you remember what I told you the next day?"

"You told me that you were just angry, that you were looking for someone to blame for what happened to mum, that it was God and me who had copped it." Sophie said, laughing a little despite herself.

"We all need someone to blame Sophie," Kevin explained. "You're blaming God and yourself for something which was out of your control…the tram crash, it just happened. The affair with Molly, the blame belongs with me, not you. The fighting and the rowing, that blame belongs to your mum and me. You were caught up in something out of your control, nothing more, if I believe anything, it's that, your sexuality, it is a gift to you from God, just like your life."

Kevin nodded at their surroundings as he said the last sentence, trying to emphasize his point.

"I know I've not always been supportive of you and Sian. You being gay, it was a lot to get my head around in the beginning but," he looked towards Sophie's girlfriend and smiled as the younger girl met his eyes. "If your sexuality meant that you found someone who loves you and cares for you, someone who is there for you through the good and the bad, who stands by you…" Kevin looked back at Sophie. "If it meant that you were lucky enough to have someone who has been here, at the hospital every day for the last two weeks…who is still here now, when you have a difficult time ahead, then I would say that it is most definitely a gift, wouldn't you?"

Sophie looked at Sian and met her girlfriend's smile.

"Sian," Kevin said thoughtfully looking towards the blonde. "I never thanked you for everything you've done for Sophie, for being there for her during the separation and even before then…I know I've questioned it before now but, you're always welcome in my home."

"Thank you," Sian replied surprised.

"You make my daughter happier than I've ever seen her, happier then I have in the last few months." Kevin continued. "I can't thank you enough for that."

"You don't have to," Sian said.

"Maybe," Kevin mused, "but I want to."

Sian smiled at Kevin in acknowledgement before turning her attention to her girlfriend who was watching her dad with a contented smile on her face.

Kevin met his daughter's gaze.

"I think there's more that we probably need to talk about," he said before looking around the room at the others, "but, you said before that you felt awful and tired…"

"I feel better now," Sophie admitted honestly cutting him off as she nestled into her dad's chest once more.

"Well," Kevin said, "we'll talk more later, alright? I promise…but…" He pulled at the table with the tray of Sophie's food on top of it so that it was within closer reach, "it looks as though I interrupted lunch, huh?

"It's probably cold now though," Sophie said shrugging it off.

"Yeah but you need to eat Sophie," Kevin said kissing her cheek lightly.

"What about the jelly?" Sian said picking up a clean spoon from the tray and the small tub of jelly beside it.

"Jelly?" Sophie asked unsure.

"You said you were hungry before?" Sian questioned looking at Sophie in concern.

"Yeah I am," Sophie admitted.

Sian scooped up some jelly onto the spoon and held it before Sophie temptingly.

"Alright," Sophie finally relented, eating the red substance from the spoon and swallowing it easily.

"That's my girl," Kevin said squeezing her shoulders with a gentle encouragement.

"How was it?" Sian asked watching the small smile creep over Sophie's lips.

"It was ok," Sophie said as Sian scooped up some more. "I think jelly might just be my new _favourite_ food from now on."

"It doesn't hurt?" Rosie asked happily.

Sophie looked at her dad and smiled, "no," she said thoughtfully to herself, the double meaning lost on those around her. "It doesn't hurt as much anymore."


	19. Chapter 19

After finishing off the last of her jelly, Sophie finally succumbed to the sleep that her body was desperately craving. As Kevin, Rosie and Sian continued to talk around her, the brunette had tried to keep up with their conversation, joining in as able until, her eyes heavy with fatigue, she had found herself drifting off into a peaceful slumber, the voices of the people she cared about slowly disappearing around her until they vanished completely.

What seemed liked only minutes passed before Sophie felt the mattress move underneath her, pulling her from her dreams, from the blissful ignorance that sleep had afforded to her and back to stark reality. Something shifted in the bed beside her slightly and Sophie fought to open her eyes against the oppressive heaviness of their lids. Finally, she managed to command them open, her vision momentarily blurred as her eyes adjusted to the bright light of the room around her. She blinked quickly, her right temple aching from the movement, until she could see outlines of shapes and then, after a few minutes, she could finally see clearly.

Sophie smiled as she took in the sight of Sian sitting beside her in the hospital bed, her legs stretched out beside her own, her back resting solidly against the upright head of the bed as she read a magazine. Sensing someone watching her, Sian lowered her reading material into her lap and turned to look at her girlfriend, a half smile gracing her lips as she met Sophie's eyes.

"Hi," Sian said closing the magazine in front of her and tossing it into the chair beside the bed.

Sophie tried to sit herself up in the bed slightly in an attempt to bring herself level with Sian but soon failed without the full use of her arms to aid the manoeuvre. Sian leant over her girlfriend, placing her arms carefully around the brunette's shoulders and helping her into a more comfortable position before resuming her own.

"Thanks," Sophie said appreciatively, a hint of sadness in her voice at her inability to assist herself.

Sian smiled at Sophie in understanding, not saying anything, knowing that her girlfriend was struggling with her current incapacity but not wanting her to dwell on it for too long.

"How long have I been asleep?" Sophie asked Sian, her eyes scanning the eerily vacant surroundings as she realised both Rosie and her dad were absent.

"About an hour and a half," Sian said throwing a quick glance at the clock on the wall behind Sophie's head to double check.

"Really?" Sophie asked in surprise. "It seems like it was only a few minutes."

"Yeah really," Sian confirmed laughing a little at the confused expression on Sophie's face. "You were out for the count babe. I don't think anything would have woken you up."

"Right…" Sophie said, her mind still hazy from sleep. "Where's me dad and Rosie?" she asked glancing around the room once more.

"They went to the hospital cafeteria about an hour ago," Sian informed Sophie. "They invited me but, I think they probably had a few things to talk about so I decided to stay here with you."

"Well I'm glad you did," Sophie said smiling at the blonde gratefully.

"Are you feeling any better now?" Sian asked Sophie as she took up her girlfriend's left hand in her right and began playing with her fingers mindlessly, twirling them in her own almost out of habit.

"A little," Sophie acknowledged, as she realised that the gnawing headache she'd had earlier was no longer present.

"Do you want me to get the nurse?" Sian asked anxiously. "She's outside with another patient, but if you need some more pain relief or something…"

"I'm ok," Sophie interrupted quickly. "I promise…I honestly do feel a little better."

"I just want you to be alright," Sian admitted.

"I am," Sophie replied slightly puzzled.

"No, I mean, I want to you to be better, I don't want you to be in pain or anything." Sian explained.

"I know," Sophie said smiling at her girlfriends words, "but, I don't think that'll happen for a while."

"I wish there was more that I could do," Sian said to herself more than Sophie.

"Just having you here is helping," Sophie said encouragingly trying to squeeze Sian's hand but only managing a small flicker of movement.

Sian kept her gaze fixed on both their hands for a moment before finally meeting Sophie's gaze.

"I don't feel like I'm helping Soph," Sian confessed. "I don't feel like I'm doing anything. I'm just here."

"That's enough though, " Sophie said without hesitation. "It's more than enough."

Sian smiled, leaning across Sophie slightly to place a soft kiss on the brunette's lips.

Sophie's eyes sparkled mischievously as Sian pulled away and returned to her previous position.

"Actually," Sophie said playfully. "I take that back…_that's_ enough. You should keep doing that."

Sian laughed and leant back across her girlfriend, kissing her once more, this time prolonging the contact until Sophie deepened the kiss further, quickening its pace greedily. A sudden beeping emerged from the monitor above Sophie's bed and Sian pulled back quickly to look up at it, noting the flashing number indicating her girlfriend's heart rate, the erratic trace that had appeared beside it. She turned back to Sophie who was panting slightly, breathless, and Sian felt her heart leap into her throat with panic. Just as she was about to call for the nurse, the beeping stopped and a glance at the monitor showed that Sophie's heart rate had returned to normal, the trace now consistent as it etched across the screen.

"Are you alright?" Sian asked Sophie concerned, shifting her position in the bed a little to look at her girlfriend more closely.

"Fine," Sophie almost sighed, her chest rising quickly as her lungs pulled air into them and her breathing began to settle.

"Are you sure?" Sian questioned further, still worried.

"Yeah," Sophie replied smiling at the look on Sian's face despite her girlfriends' obvious concern.

"Sophie you've had heart surgery," Sian said, shifting her weight slightly, readying herself to stand up from the bed. "Something could be wrong…"

Sophie stayed Sian with a slight squeeze of the blonde's hand.

"I feel fine," Sophie reassured her as Sian hesitated, perched on the edge of her girlfriends bed. "Besides, it wouldn't be the first time you've made my heart race like that."

"Soph…" Sian began to protest. "This is serious…something could have happened…"

"Sian," Sophie interrupted. "_You happened_. That's all."

"How do you know it's nothing more?" Sian asked still unmoving, torn between seeking advice from Denise or trusting Sophie.

"I don't know," Sophie admitted, "but, my chest doesn't hurt, it's not painful, it just feels light, like…like it always does when you kiss me like that….I don't know how to explain it….but, it's not anything new, I promise."

Sian brought her legs back up onto the bed besides Sophie seemingly convinced. "As long as you're sure…" She said leaning back against the head of the bed and resting her chin on Sophie's left shoulder. Sophie dropped her head down on top of Sian's for a moment, wincing a little at the stiffness in her neck from her sleep before.

"I'm sure," Sophie reassured her. "I'll tell you if there's anything to worry about."

"You better," Sian said raising her eyes to meet Sophie's and smiling again. "I wouldn't want to be the one to kill you after everything else you've been through, especially with a heart attack."

"I think my heart is alright," Sophie replied as she inhaled to scent of Sian's coconut shampoo wistfully. "It's safe with you."

"Wow, you must be on a lot of pain relief," Sian responded lightly, laughing to herself at her girlfriends words.

"I'm not on that much," Sophie protested. "I just mean that, well; I know it's safe as long as you have it, that's all. I know you'll take care of it, just like you have been for almost a year now."

Sian rolled onto her side slightly in the bed, moving her left hand and placing it gently onto Sophie's chest just above her girlfriends' heart. Slowly Sian began tracing the outline of the dressing covering Sophie's sternum where the surgeons had opened her up to repair the damaged organ.

Carefully, Sian moved her head from its current position down onto Sophie's chest, the side of her face resting gently over where the brunette's heart lay. She listened to the gentle thud of Sophie's heart, her eyes closing as she tried to feel the beat of her own against her ribs. She slid her left hand up again, this time tracing a straight line down the middle of the dressing covering Sophie's sternum, imagining the surgical incision that lay beneath.

"You know when you first came into the hospital," Sian finally spoke, interrupting the silence between them. "When I first saw you in here after you'd come out of surgery…I remember seeing this dressing…" she continued to trace up and down the white material protruding from the top of Sophie's hospital gown as she spoke. "It was stained red then, bloody…." Sian swallowed hard as though the memory of it still physically hurt her. "I remember imagining what they'd had to do to you…and I…I pictured them cracking open your chest…"

Sian felt Sophie's left hand tighten slightly around her right hand but the blonde remained still, her head resting against the brunette's chest, her left hand still tracing a line down the middle of the dressing.

"All I could think about was how you'd been lying there whilst they'd operated on your heart, _my heart…" _Sian continued. "That they'd held it in their hands while they'd fixed it, held something that belonged to me…and not even realised that, if they hadn't been able to repair the damage, if they'd lost you, if _I'd lost you_…then, well, two hearts would have been lost that day, two hearts would have been damaged beyond repair, yours and mine."

Sian paused for a moment to place her left hand over her own chest, felt her own heartbeat in time with the gentle thud of Sophie's in her ear and she smiled to herself at the memory.

"That night I watched your heart rate on the monitor above your bed and I…I put my hand to my chest and felt my own, just like this," Sian continued. "I felt it beat in time with yours…and, I know it's stupid but, feeling that, knowing that they were in time, that they were _together_, it gave me hope that things would be alright. That you'd be alright…"

Sophie said nothing as she absorbed Sian's words, allowing the blonde to continue.

"Then for the longest time nothing happened," Sian sighed to herself. "For fifteen days I waited and, you didn't wake up so I just…I continued to wait…to just wait for something to happen, for you to open your eyes…but you didn't." Sian swallowed hard once again to clear her throat which had become hoarse with emotion. "The doctors starting weaning your sedation, started to change your ventilator settings and reduce your oxygen requirements…and still nothing…and…as the days continued to pass I just started to lose hope, and my chest, it hurt so much…it felt so strange, like…like there was this big gaping hole in it, like something was missing but I couldn't quite put my finger on it."

Sian began wistfully tracing an imaginary line up and down the dressing covering Sophie's chest once more, her face still resting gently atop her girlfriends' chest.

"Then one day," Sian carried on. "I was sitting here with Rosie, waiting, and your monitors, they started beeping like they'd done a minute ago and my heart leapt into my throat as I watched the blue number drop, later Denise told me it was your oxygen levels in your blood…but I watched as they just started plummeting. Denise said it was because of the chest infection that you had…that you had too many secretions on your chest…I just remember that you started turning blue…" Sian snuggled closer into Sophie, draping her arm over the brunette's abdomen carefully. "Denise asked me and Rosie to leave…so… we went outside and we waited. For what seemed like hours, we just, we waited again…like we'd been doing for ten days beforehand."

Sian played with Sophie's fingers in her right hand.

"I was so worried about you Soph," Sian admitted. "I'd never been so worried about anything in my whole life, the accident and everything since then; it's just, it's felt like a complete nightmare. All I could think about whilst I was waiting outside with Rosie was, what if this was it, what if I was really about to lose you?"

"You didn't…" Sophie said quietly. "I'm still here Sian."

Sian smiled into Sophie's chest.

"I know," Sian replied happily, "but I didn't know then whether you'd pull through and all I kept thinking was that…that this was the end. The end of _everything._"

"Sian," Sophie almost gasped in understanding. "You can't have meant that?"

"I did," Sian said detached. "I just kept picturing my life without you and it was bleak and lonely…and I just couldn't see myself, I couldn't…."

Sian trailed off momentarily, her voice lost to the silent tears she was crying.

"I love you so much Sophie," Sian confessed. "While you were unconscious I missed your smile…the sparkle in your eye…there was so much I missed and you weren't even really gone, you were just…sleeping. I don't think I could go on without you, I wouldn't know how…"

Sian tilted her head up to look at her girlfriend who was watching her closely, an unreadable expression on her face. The blonde reached for Sophie's right hand with her left and placed it over her heart.

"You were right before," Sian said seriously, her hand resting on top of Sophie's as it lay over her heart. "I'll always protect your heart Soph…because, by protecting it, I'm protecting my own. My heart belongs to you, no one else, not ever. It's yours and it always will be, until the day I die…"

Sian laughed to herself through her tears.

"I'm babbling aren't I?" She asked her girlfriend.

"No…" Sophie said taking Sian's hand in her right and lifting it to her mouth to plant a soft kiss on the back of it.

"What I'm trying to say," Sian said lifting her head up to look at Sophie once again, "is that, you are my whole world Soph and without you, I am nothing. Without you…I am not whole because you own my heart and if you ever left, if I ever lost you, then you'd take my heart with you."

"I'm sorry," Sophie apologised sincerely at all the anguish she'd caused for the blonde before her over the last fifteen days. "Sian… I didn't know…I had no what you've been going through, what you've been feeling…I'm…I'm so sorry…I'd never want to hurt you…"

"I know," Sian acknowledged. "It's not your fault Sophie…what happened…it was an accident. It's just…" Sian sighed. "With everyone opening up; I just wanted to be honest with you. I wanted you to understand how much you mean to me and how much I care about you. I wanted you to know what's been happening whilst you were unconscious, wanted you to know that although time moved on…I didn't…I couldn't…I was stuck here with you…waiting…"

"I love you," Sophie said wiping at a stray tear running down Sian's cheek with the thumb of her right hand.

Sian looked up and smiled at her girlfriend.

"And…" Sophie began a broad grin spreading across her face. "Just so you know, I feel exactly the same way about you."

"You do?" Sian questioned in disbelief.

"Yeah," Sophie confirmed her voice small and light. "Of course. When you went away with your mum, I really missed you…"

"I'm sorry for leaving you," Sian said sadly, "I shouldn't have gone, you needed me here…"

"Sian…" Sophie interrupted the blonde. "Don't say that. Thinking about it now, I'm glad that you went. You should be able to spend time with your mum, for her to get to know you again properly…" Sophie stopped mid-sentence as a realisation came to her. "Actually, I haven't even had a chance to ask you how your holiday was….when did you get back?"

Sian shifted her position slightly to look up at Sophie.

"I was just arriving back in Weatherfield when the Pastor called me and told me about your accident," Sian said. "I headed straight for the hospital."

"So…" Sophie probed, a small smile etching her features. "Did you have a nice time?"

Sian dropped her gaze and nestled her head back into Sophie's chest.

"Not really," Sian admitted. "I missed you like mad."

Sian mindlessly started tracing circles on the Sophie's abdomen as she spoke.

"My mum really tried but, I kind of felt like a third wheel….I couldn't wait to come home again." Sian continued.

Sophie smiled at the way Sian said '_home.'_

"You were right…speaking on the phone just wasn't the same." Sian confessed. 'I would have preferred it if you'd come with me."

"Well," Sophie said, tilting her head slightly as she watched her girlfriend. "I can honestly say that, having woken up here, I'd probably have preferred that an' all."

A moment passed where neither Sian nor Sophie said anything further, each one just content in each other's presence as they lay together on the bed, Sian slowly tracing circles on Sophie's abdomen whilst the brunette twisted a lock of Sian's blonde hair in the fingers of her right hand.

"I think I could stay like this forever," Sian finally said, breaking the silent impasse which had formed between them.

"Me too," Sophie concurred, her eyelids once again heavily with sleep, her mind and body comfortable in the familiarity of Sian's embrace. "This almost feels normal doesn't it?"

"Almost," Sian mused, her own voice tarnished with the heaviness of fatigue.

"Hmm…" Sophie murmured as she fought to stay awake. She felt Sian pull herself in closer to her chest and slowly Sophie dropped her right hand from where it had been busy with the blonde's locks until it lay resting over Sian's left elbow. Sian responded, draping her left arm around Sophie's torso carefully and in the silence that followed they fell asleep. For the first time in weeks, snuggled against Sophie's soft body, Sian was at ease, relaxed. For the first time in weeks, Sian's sleep was undisturbed by nightmares, was deep, relaxed. For the first time in a long time, Sian didn't wake up in a cold sweat, her mind in turmoil. Her heart was once again whole, _complete_. There was no void, no ache of crippling loss. There was only happiness and contentment. There was only love, pure, inexplicable, love.


End file.
